Quick R+S Poll?

Question

A question was asked a few moments ago about spanking one's children.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ApEDZB_VqJdnpCa.fmHcvz_sy6IX?qid=20070319060950AANLVzm&show=7#profile-info-o26ODduNaa

I'm curious as to whether one's religion has any bearing on methods of discipline.

My questions are:

1. Do you spank your children?
2 What is your religion?
3. If you don't spank, what is the preferred method of discipline in your home?

For the record: I am an atheist who has never spanked her children. I prefer taking away privileges, and requiring that they be earned back through proper behavior.

This can be a controversial topic, and your honesty in answering is most appreciated. Everyone receives a thumbs up.

Bad Liberal...my apologies. I just visited the previous question, and we are all racking them up over there. So sorry.

Answer 1

1) No
2) Judaism
3) Usually a time out, we also use behavior modification

Answer 2

I have three kids (a two year old, a five year old, and a nine year old) and I have spanked my kids a couple times... when they were toddlers and only if they were continually doing something dangerous like running toward the street. Even then, it wasn't painfull, it was a pat on the bottom to show them I was serious about the matter.

I am a Pagan and I was raised Pagan by non-practicing protestant hippies :D

Most of the issues with behavior can be handled by establishing rules early, being consistant, redirection and focusing on what kids should do instead of what not to do.

i.e. running in a restaurant... I say "Walk with me, please. We walk in restaurants" when a child is just learning to walk and hold their hand instead of setting them free and yelling "no running" when they decide to experiment with limit pushing or allowing them to run ahead of you and then suddenly changing the rule when their bahavior gets out of hand. Allowing something than suddenly not allowing it confuses kids and they never learn what's acceptable. Then, as they grow older and more independant, they can walk ahead or go to the restroom on their own because it's been long since established that we walk indoors and save the running for playing outside.

I use time-outs for small offenses, but warnings usually do the trick for the older kids now, as they know I am not a pushover. If there are serious and intentional infactions, I take away privileges and/or give them extra work to do around the house. Often I will ask them what they think is an apporpriate punishment for certain things so we get a chance to discuss the issue and they really think about the repercussions of their actions.

We also talk alot about the things we see with other families doing and other children's behavior to reinforce the rules we have and the things we do in our family. My kids will actually say they are glad they don't act like some kids they see and I always make sure to thank them for being such respectful and fun-to-be-around kids.

This isn't to say they are perfect little robots who never do anything wrong... it's just when they do, there's no need to fly off the handle yelling and hitting in order to effectively discipline them.

Answer 3

I don't spank my children any more as they are beyond that age. My youngest is now 13. However, I did spank them when they were younger and misbehaved. I am a Protestant Christian. The Bible says in Proverbs 22:6..

Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.

I do have some guidelines about discipline though:

1) I spank with my hand, not a belt. (you can control your hand, but not a belt).

2) I believe that both parents should agree on any type of punishment carried out. and...

3) I believe the discipline should always be consistent. (don't spank your child for something one day, and then let him get away with it the next).

Hope this helps!





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Answer 4

1) When my children were small and you can't reason with them by taking privileges away, yes I would use spanking, especially when other methods such as time outs did not work. Not beating, but some swats on the butt when the child would refuse to listen. In our house, the spanking is the feared discipline because it is used only if all other solutions don't work. For us, sometimes the threat of a spanking gets results. Just so you know, we don't beat our children and spanking is used only sporadically.
2. Christian
3. We prefer to take away privileges, but we have one child that spanking is used when time outs or lost privileges fail. As I mentioned before, wants to avoid a spanking so that is often the only way to get her to clean her room.

P.S. this has nothing to do with my religion, instead it is based on our parenting philosophy.

Answer 5

My son's are to old to spank now, 38 &36
but I never spanked them. I was a one parent household. I was raised with much abuse, ie:spankings, and I swore I would never touch my children. I NEVER did. I am a christian. I preferred to take things away, giving them chores, making them responsible little people. How else are they gonna learn. They would remember the spnaking, Not what they got spnaked for.
And I am glad to say, my son's are raising their children in the same way. Spanking is not the way. No matter how mad you get at them. I could never agree with this brutality.
I don't feel at all that my religion had anything to do with my decision. Because when my children where little, I had NO religion. Good question Red Queen.

Answer 6

1) My children are too young to spank yet (almost 6 months old) but when they get a bit older spanking will be one method of punishment that they may receive.
2) I am a Christian (Heretic) but my views on spanking have not changed since changing my views on Christianity.
3) Again, once they are older, they will know the rules. If they break the rules, we will ask them why, and have an open ear. Their first punishment will just be getting a warning. If they continue to disobey, they will get a swat. If they continue to disobey, they will lose toys/priveleges for a period of time. I see a lot of families who keep giving warnings and "if you don't stop and never get around to punishing. Those kids that I have seen have known just how to push the limits because they know the words are hollow. Once they realize that you are serious, and will follow through, they have a tendency to relate better.

Answer 7

I never have and never will spank my children. I would no more use my physical superiority on my children to get them to bend to my will than I would on my wife.

I am an atheist.

My children are disciplined by a combination of reward and punishment, the punishment usually involving something they value very highly being taken from or denied them. Rewards are given to encourage good behaviour and to reinforce the importance of what is being denied when they misbehave.

I think this question must have piled up the thumbs-downs I got on the earlier one, but that doesn't bother me. I wonder if any of these spankers could explain why child behaviour professionals - including people like Supernanny - manage to turn around exceptionally bad behaviour without ever resorting to violence?

Answer 8

Atheist, have spanked children rarely, generally give a time out or remove privileges.

I personally don't think spanking is bad, it's quick and effective. I was spanked some as I grew up and probably could have used a bit more. I also recall getting around "restrictions" by doing other activities - and see my children doing the same. Mostly when I have spanked, or slapped their hands, has been similiar to other answers, they were reaching for stove, running away into a crowded mall or street, etc.

Answer 9

I would only spank my children if they were in imminent danger. Perhaps if one thought it was funny to run out into the street (we all know how kids get these ideas). I would do it in a case like that because the blow of a spanking would be far less painful in the grand scheme of things, but it would get the point across quickly. I've spanked maybe two or three times in her 4 years. Otherwise, no. She responds well to standing in the corner or sitting quietly in a chair for a specified amount of time. I am a Christian, though I don't feel my religious background bears any weight on how I punish my children.

Answer 10

Yes. I spank them in the early stages since they are too young to know right from wrong and immature to reason and understand denial of privilege. The earliest form of learning is pain/pleasure association.
I generally progress from spanking to time out once they are old enough to comprehend what they are being punished for, but still may resort to an old-fashioned spanking if belligerence is displayed.
Finally, I progress to punishment by consequence and denial of privilege in the early teen years. This may include additional chores or suspension of telephone/internet privileges, grounding, etc.

I am Christian

Answer 11

1. We don't have children. However, my husband's mom is atheist bordering on agnostic, and she did spank her son. My parents were/are Christian, and I was also spanked.
We BOTH plan to spank our children if it's necessary, but only in extreme situations.
2. I am a Christian. My husband is agnostic.
3. We also plan on using time-outs and restriction. It just depends on our children, I think.

For the record, I have known many Christian couples from both sides of the aisle. Some use spanking, some do not.