I am in love with my boyfriend. We have been together for 6 months. (by the way I am 26 he is 27)We have been through some stuff together, and a few weeks backs we almost broke up because he told me he didn't ever want marrige, more children or even a long term relationship. (not that I ever pushed any of that on him, cause IF i decide to ever get married again it will be a long time from now. But after we decided to "take a little break" i saw more of him than ever. He just came around more. Then i hear from someone we both know that he told her he is just scared because he found the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Then we went on a vacation together to his dads house out of state and I met the rest of his family. When we got back I went to a concert with a friend of mine (and one of my b/f's best friends) and his girlfriend and they got drunk and spilled the beans, aparently my man told his friend he loves me and wants to marry me. I want to hear it from him SOOO bad, but he won't tell me. He will tell everyone else but not me! Why? I need to hear it from him to believe it. Shouldn't he want ME to know??? he knows I love him. I won't ever tell him that these people told me these things, but should I tell him i know how he feels about me? should I ask him if it is true?
2007-03-19 02:11:11 · 12 answers · asked by ladyjno7 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he's running scared of talking to you about his feelings, confronting him about them might not help. Yes, he's let some mutual friends know how he feels, perhaps in hopes that it will trickle back to you and let him off the hook a bit.
However, he has to learn to talk to you about his feelings now, or a long-term relationship won't last.
Set the mood and set the stage to help him be more comfortable. Practice some open discussions where he won't feel pressured. Try to find out what exactly it is that frightens him, and work through it. Yes, you need to talk to him about what you've been told, but it has to be in a way that won't send him screaming for the hills, and will set up a positive behavior for the next big talk.
2007-03-19 02:18:43 · answer #1 · answered by Jarien 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's scared. He's afraid of his feelings. Once he tells you them, he's afraid of what you'll do with them, and apparently, by his not telling you yet, and feeling MORE comfortable with 'a little break'. rejection is a huge factor. He can't be rejected when you are NOT 'seeing each other'. Get the picture?
Actions speak louder than words. If he really feels this way - don't rush it. He'll come around in time. Just continue to be who you are, and let him know how much you care. Once he's more secure about that, he'll probably be able to open up more to you. It just needs time.
2007-03-19 09:23:21 · answer #2 · answered by Plexed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he is hesitant as you were married before. You might have led on to the fact that you do not want to get married or if you do it would not be for a long time. Now he has to repress his feelings for you knowing that you might not ever want to get married.
Simple solution though. Say it first.... If you have heard it from his friends that he loves you, you should be comfortable enough to say it directly to him first. This will break the ice and he will get more comfortable
2007-03-19 09:18:05 · answer #3 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Do not approach him on this. Let him come to you in his time. If he has been hurt before, or for any of his own reasons, he may want to marry you but is scared. If he is talking to his friends about it he is probably trying to get reassurance from them. If he talks to you about it, then he may feel like he is already committing to it. Just wait, be patient. Trying to talk to him about it my push him in the other direction. When he is ready, then he will talk to you about it.
Good luck.
2007-03-19 09:19:29 · answer #4 · answered by Ammikins 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you have made all the exceuss to stay how about the ones that you didn't say? Is it ok that he doesn't tell you he loves you? I don't know about you but I think people are telling you what you want to hear, when really what they have to say doesn't really matter when he can't say it him self.
2007-03-19 09:20:10 · answer #5 · answered by loving U 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DONNTTT ask him. hes waiting for the right time, hes waiting to make sure you feel the sameway about him. deff dont tell him that his friends told you. that might make him mad.. my bf tells his friends good stuff all the time (so they say) but they dont tell me. i might try the getting drunk thing and spilling there hearts out.
good luckkk. :]
2007-03-19 09:17:06 · answer #6 · answered by Amber 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two are having problems communicating now, you'll have problems later. Sounds like both of you are having problems taking risks. Talk about it......
2007-03-19 09:20:35 · answer #7 · answered by Sandy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you already know he loves you,maybe he is afraid that you refuse like the one he propose before you in the past.if he don't you should explain to him what you're waiting from this relation.help him to make his demand.good luck.
2007-03-19 09:21:56 · answer #8 · answered by emma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use the knowledge to your advantage. Keep it under your hat.
He will tell you when he is sure you will not reject him.I am happy for you and may God bless you.
2007-03-19 09:16:00 · answer #9 · answered by mikey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
calm down....he will tell you in his own way. hes probably scared to death. this is a man you talking about ya know.
relax. have a cocktail and let him tell you when hes ready.
2007-03-19 09:16:43 · answer #10 · answered by zsaffireblue2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋