SOS Family Crisis?

Question

I love my son
There is no way to describe my devotion to him his siblings and theres tome .
I am a single father if four .
What do I do when my 15 yr old son insults me as I turn my back
Then when confronted he denies the situation
As a result nothing is resolved
No one backs down
Other sibling dearly loves brother yet also knows he is wrong
For weeks now on many occasions my son has thrown sligh comments behind me, whilst I'm with in a meter or two away from him . When I confront him he claims to have said a totally different thing and lies compulsively with know remorse.
This is not my imagination , I need him to be honest before I can put this redicullouse situation behind us.

Answer 1

You need help. Find a family counselor that the both of you can go to together and that you both can speak with individually. There is no shame in getting help but what you are doing now is not working. You need to find a way to help him figure out what it is that is really bothering him. Anger is a secondary emotion. Whatever it is he is struggling with he is taking out on you. There is no thing as "Oh hes just being a 15year old". Talk with him and be honest that you fear losing your relationship with him and dont know what to do so together you are going to go to a counselor and try to find a better way to develop a better relationship. Remember though that in going to this counselor there is no blame or accusing that should be done on your part. Hear your child, be honest in return. You have a great burden rearing 4 childeren on your own and Im sure never enough time to give each child all the attention they need at times. Love them as you do. If going to a counselor isnt possible speak with his school counselor and ask for help there. Someway find someone to listen to your son and help him tell what it is that is really bothering him and why he is taking it out on you. Do you have a pastor or priest? Speak with them and ask advice if you do.

Answer 2

Turn around and slap him, put him in his place. Cause he's gonna go out in the real world some day and treat his boss this way and end up getting fired casue he does not think there are consequences to his trampy behavior. And don't let this kid get his permit, drivers license or any other kind of privledge he does not deserve it. Go to the librarby and find books on Tough Love Parenting and send this spoiled little girl I know he's a boy but he's acting like a girl. Boot camp that's the place for him ... I wish I had a dad like you. Heck my mom raised us boys on her own and we still take care of her.

Answer 3

I'm picking up that there's some kind of repressed anger or resentment going on with your son for whatever reason and you must address this, and fast.
Take him outside of the family situation - go out with him for the afternoon, a football match, a meal, a walk, and then broach the subject quite openly and honestly. Ask him if there's something bothering him (he may have issues about his mum, perhaps), what's going on in his life. Don't be challenging, just be curious, concerned. If he aanswers that things are fine then say "well I pick up a lot of hostility from you, what have I done?" and give him examples. Tell him that you're certain that you haven't misheard, and be very specific. Do not be overbearing - he must feel he has the space to speak to you as an adult and air his concerns. It may be something really petty - a grump about pocket money or the time he can get in - or something major. Having said that, he's 15 and that is a typical teenage issue about squaring up to your parents' authority and trying to challenge their rules.
Always remember that you are the adult in this relationship and, if you have rules, you must make him abide by them. He may wish to negotiate some - later nights, perhaps - but ultimately you decide what the rules are and if you wish to give in. It may just be that, at this point in your relationship, your son will see you as the 'enemy' because you're older and in charge, just that. However, you are his father first, and his friend secondly, so stick to the rules fairly and don't give in for the sake of peace.
Good luck, teenagers are hard work. But have a chat with him first to see if there's anything underlying. If not, you're just going to have to suffer this for a few years!

Answer 4

You've got to realize that he's 15. It's the time when people do the worst things and many of them regret it later.

Talk to him and let him know that you weren't born yesterday, and that you may be growing older but your ears are in perfect working order and you can hear him.

Something may be going on in school that's affecting him- perhaps one of his friends has insulted you or something like that, and he may have gotten in a fight trying to protect you.

That's a little far-fetched bye yeah, you get the idea- something may have happened.

If things don't improve, take him to a family counsellor for both you and him.

You don't want to let him grow apart because some people just stray away in their teens, and then find it too difficult to change anything when they're older

Answer 5

Sit down with him away from everyone else and tell him that you know he has been doing this. Ask him if he is angry with you? Tell him that you love him and that you are not angry but it hurts you when he does this. Give him an opportunity to answer and if he doesn't let him know that you will never stop loving him but this behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. If it continues head to a counselor.

Answer 6

You sound like a really good dad. Mine was a drunk I pretty much raised myself and left when I was 15. Got my GED and joined the Job Corp. He's still a drunk. Be strong and know that your a good man and don't let this kid bring you down. I wish I had a dad like you. Peace.

Answer 7

Call any family member you have that lives near you.Call the cops.Or even get your neighbors help!If any of this doesnt work go running to the store and look for her.I cant think of something else good luck Bro.

Answer 8

He is 15 unfortunately this is what 15 yr olds do..
You could try demanding respect, unfortunately this is likely to make his behaviour worse..
If his little comments are harmless then ignore him and he will get bored and try some other form of rebelliousness.
The other option is to turn the tables, act like a big kid and do the same to him untill it annoys him as much as it has you..
Good luck, teenagers are possesed by the devil for a while!

Answer 9

15 yr-olds - aarrgghh! You poor man!

He is just testing the water with how far he can push. If I were you I would just tell him that if he has a point he would like to make to you then he should be man enough to say it to your face. And tell him that you deserve his respect so if he disagrees with something you have said or have asked him to do, he is free to voice his opinion, but disrespectful 'cheek' is not acceptable.

Answer 10

He is being a 15 yr old.......and sometime i wonder how any of us got beyond that age........
Don't confront him.........he has chosen an area you can not proove. So he feels he wins or feels he does because your
left hanging with it.
Simply tell him, you know he's making geltures and it won't change anything say it once and then drop it....discipline as normal and go on without recognition of his actions.