i have been very worried lately because i have notice that i follow the same pattern when it comes to man ..always man that seem to be ok , but then i always find out that they are in debt or do something illegal , or have babies and are under child support ..or like to cheat and party with their friends ..i have found other type of man but i am not atracted to them..my last catch is 30 and have 3 kids from 3 different woman ..he is not the party or drinker type , but is so boring that i have no fun when i am around him ..why is that ? i need to learn how to choose my man and don't know how to
2007-03-19 01:51:28 · 14 answers · asked by yaquese 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
even if we don't really like the music, we dance to the same tune again and again because it is familiar. Try to get a copy of Robin Norwood's book, "women who love too much" it will open your eyes and possibly show you how to change your life. It's an oldie, but a goodie, and still available.
2007-03-19 01:55:53 · answer #1 · answered by Squirrley Temple 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Usually patterns stem from childhood happenings or the way you are now. It is you who attract these types. You know the saying, "Misery loves company"? That's you. You have to find a way to change your pattern by changing your routine on the way you are. Example: (An abused child will often date abusive men. It is a control issue, she has allowed everything and everyone to control her. Once she takes charge of her life and doesn't allow things to control her life, she thus changes the pattern her life is going and attracts a different kind of man. ) (Personal experience). So change your pattern and you will stop attracting men like that. Although, a man with a child or 2 doesn't have to be a bad thing. 3 different women, okay sounds like he let's women control him. Just sit and think what you are doing currently in your life that you haven't changed even since High school. Some of us even attract needy friends. See what it is you need to change and the rest will follow.
2007-03-19 09:01:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the long and short of it is, as a friend of mine once told me when I asked him the same question...The only common factor in all of these relationships is you.
So lemme tell you a secret a different friend told me...
When you meet someone, "anyone", you're not really meeting the true individual, you meet their "representative". This means that if a guy likes you, he's always going to put his best foot forward. A man's not going to come right out and say to you that he has 3 kids from 3 different women, you wouldn't give him a chance! So, he paints himself in the best possible light so that you'll give him the time of day.
So, what I had to begin doing was to give myself a lot of time around a person before I begin to invest in them emotionally. This is probably a period of 6-8 weeks or more before I begin to consider them for relationship. So, this throws out hooking up with folks you're not acquainted with...One night stands are out...This may not be as "fun" but you will be less likely to wind up "wounded" every few months...
I hope that helps.
2007-03-19 09:03:08 · answer #3 · answered by jerseysingah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mind has developed a certain schema (what the brain associates with) about men that I would assume that the hormones that make you feel happy and excited are only released round a certain type of guy. There is no real cure for this but to choose a vaguely non illegal. non debt guy. But you shouldn't sacifice your own happiness because you don't think its right. The right person will come along.
2007-03-19 09:03:53 · answer #4 · answered by Dr Sherior 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't see any mental problem about your case...but it's a matter of choice of to or not to...how can you say, you like those type when you find the man boring after wards...you find out the truth about the guy after several meetings right?it might be creepy if you are attracted to that guy BECAUSE of those traits....i hope not, if it's the case, then you have a problem. But according to how you relay your question, you always end up finding out about his commitments after right?It's a matter of coincidence i think..well, the choice is yours...if he has commitments, shut your door and find someone you can call all yours....good luck
2007-03-19 09:10:30 · answer #5 · answered by nozmiat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because when you first fell in love you bonded to a certain type of man.
To break this cycle, make a choice to spend time with a nice guy who you don't feel immediate attraction, to, and let him have a chance and another chance. Spend lots of time with him and share who you are with him .
2007-03-19 09:02:03 · answer #6 · answered by Makemeaspark 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There Is no such way to choose a good man if there was a way to do that we will all have a perfect relationships... be patient and take your type why rushing...?
belive in god and he will help you hopefully...
Good Luck
2007-03-19 08:57:45 · answer #7 · answered by Lans 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
depends on how attractive you are sorry that is the main ingredients to catching a good partner and having multiple choices, also dont settle with trash do some research before you commit yourself
2007-03-19 08:56:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
They I have been looking for Miss Right since I divorced and I am still looking. This time I am taking my time to fine the right one. You should to
2007-03-19 09:01:57 · answer #9 · answered by cowboybronco01 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to wipe the slate clean -- and start again --- sus them out before you get so involved --- as best you can --- show a little restraint --- get to know them before you take 'the plunge' good luck
2007-03-19 08:57:56 · answer #10 · answered by bill g 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋