I have been goin out with a guy for a year and a half, he is so nice and very trust worthy, but he went back to university in september and didnt see each other as much, i got very paranoid that he might cheat on me. it got so bad that i took numbers out of his phone then text people pretending to be him, to find out info. He found out about this and couldnt believe what i had done and that i thought he would actually cheat! He now doesnt trust me because how decetful i was and we have split up. When im single i do not have these jealous feelings so i useually stay out of relationships. will it be impossible for me to have a relationship without feeling like this? shall i stay single foreva to avoid it? help!
2007-03-19 00:36:11 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
jealousy stems from lack of confidence. have you been treated badly alot in th past?
you need to be single for a while and gain some confidence.
i dont get jealous cos i think i'm a decent person, not ugly, not bitchy, not common, rude or boring. i'm not perfect but believe in myself.
if my boyfriend was to cheat on me i'd be gutted but i'd know it was his problem, not mine
2007-03-19 00:44:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're still young. When the time comes and you feel more secured in your own love for your own self, then you'll be ready to truly love another person enough to trust that they can also love you as you love yourself. No one can give what they don't have. Besides, if this guy's love for you was so strong, you could have texted the entire planet, he wouldn't have over-reacted as he would have done his utmost to understand your feelings of insecurity behind it all and might even have thought it "cute". At the least, he wouldn't have held it against you as though you had cheated on him with another guy or something. This tells me that you are better alone for now and go on learning as you are doing. The real good news is that now that you have admitted this tough reality to yourself and others (me), you are already half cured and are well on your way to a healthier relationship... when the time comes, you'll know it... God bless you... I feel for you... and what you are going through as it's not always obvious who a girl can and cannot trust these days. I think that guy couldn't stand the "heat" and had to get out of the "kitchen" or else, you two would have worked it out... You see what I mean??? No one is perfect and what goes around goes around. He's probably going to end up with a girl ten times worse that what he thought you were before he realizes what he's lost in you...
2007-03-19 00:48:52 · answer #2 · answered by Teri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a little jealousy is good but invading someone's privacy is a lil over the top. Maybe being single for awhile and study yourself a bit is a good idea. You can learn why you do this and learn to know that you are worthy of someone's attention.You can't control other's feeling and actions. You can only control your own. It takes tears and hard work to get to this mindset, but you can do it! Expect relapses and moments of complete foolishness getting there.NOBODY'S perfect. We all are a work in progress. It's all about growing and hopefully we will grow until the day we die.
Good luck on your journey! If your like me, you will stumble and fall, life is good, but life is not a walk in the park. :)
Smile! Be Happy!
2007-03-19 00:55:19 · answer #3 · answered by no cutesy name : ) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to be, when I was teenager..but..If they are going to cheat...they will, you will feel much better when you find out the truth..but there are ways to find out and certainly..what ever happens when you give, he/she them a good dressing down..you can hold your head up high, even in front of that persons mates because you have done nothing wrong..just exposed that person as a lying cheating scum bag! If he loves you he would not...but that was a silly thing you did prying on his phone...it show you dont trust him and most relationships are somewhat based on trust. try some counciling it must stem from some where...good lucky flower.
2007-03-19 00:56:56 · answer #4 · answered by Jamie79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See someone about your jealousy. I have accused my partner of 11 1/2 years of cheating on me for the last two years. It has ruined our relationship, and he left me 2 weeks ago. After a lot of talking we are giving it another go, BUT I have arranged to see a counseller about my insecurity, and hopefully I can get over this.
2007-03-19 09:22:01 · answer #5 · answered by fedupoffbeingrippedoff 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good you know exactly what the problem is. Thats the first step. From there, find a way that you can deal with the jealousy, otherwise, you will end up loosing wonderful mates
2007-03-19 00:41:45 · answer #6 · answered by Olga 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't know if you're in the UK, but Relate which is relationship counselling might be able to provide the support you need to sort this out. And yes you can sort issues like this!
2007-03-20 13:35:44 · answer #7 · answered by danni d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear, you are a tad insecure? Thats what jealousy usually stems from. Perhaps you need to work through some stuff with a therapist, otherwise it could effect future relationships. :o)
2007-03-19 00:43:05 · answer #8 · answered by farleyjackmaster 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a boyfriend who was really jealous. He used to call me all the time, check up on me, check my car's speedometer to see how many kilometres I travelled and then as where I had been.
Turns out that he was the one cheating on me.
So, are you really the cheater?
2007-03-23 00:10:17 · answer #9 · answered by xlntls 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound a little bit scary.
You have to remember you don't ever own somebody, even when your in a relationship. You can only make a relationshiop stay together with how they feel about you.
2007-03-19 00:45:41 · answer #10 · answered by Barbara Doll to you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋