Should I stop speaking to my ex?

Question

I am not sure if I should stop speaking to my ex-gf. She broke up with me a mth ago. We have spoken a bit recently. She gives off mixed signals.

We met up and she was really nice and very flirty with me. When I spoke to her a few days later she was off with me. She has now said it would be good to speak on the phone in a day or so but she has ignored my text in response suggesting we catch up for a drink.

I don't know what she wants?. I would like to try again with her. Should I just say it??

I don't want to be harsh and stop speaking to her but it may help me move on and also focus her mind a bit?

I am thinking I might write to her and tell her my feelings and suggest we try again but take things slowly?

My other option is to not contact her and let her contact me?

Answer 1

i would write her the letter and explain that if that is not what she wants you need to keep your distance so that you can move on.

Answer 2

You said it all: An ex is just that... An ex. Sounds like her interests are lying elsewhere at this time and when its convienient for her, she will get back to you for that drink and that chat on the phone. Until then, let her contact YOU! Move on for God's sake and she will get the message you aren't watiting around for her. She will then wonder what you are up to and probably start to pursue you and maybe even get a little jealous. Don't write her and tell her how you feel. Speak on the phone in a day or so? The girl is BUSY elsewhere...

Answer 3

Leave it alone. To me it sounds like this ex wants to keep you sweet as her "fallback guy". If you keep hanging around waiting for her you won't be able to move on and find a new relationship with someone.

If you want to try again with her, ask yourself some pretty serious questions - why did you split in the first place? could you face losing her again? is her behaviour right now (turning hot and cold) what you want to have for the rest of your life? why is she giving you mixed signals; that's definitely something you need to get sorted before you even take that first step.

My advice is to leave well enough alone. Move on. However, if you REALLY want to give it another try, make sure she is just as committed as you are before moving forward. Otherwise you are wasting your time.

Answer 4

Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants and is messing with your head. You need to ask her directly why she is doing this. If she says shes not sure, then ignore her and move on. If shes ready to talk to you about the situation and wants to give it a go, then she needs to be committed, not just get in touch wit you because she is lonely. This is quite a normal thing that happens when people break up, especially if she feels lonely. Look after yourself and go with what your head is saying - not your heart. You don't deserve to keep getting messed around by her for her own feelings of guilt or loneliness.

Answer 5

I'm going through this as well i was actually just going to ask about the same thing. I dont know i've found that if you leave them alone for a bit, it will be alright. They will see other people. but i don't think if you had a strong connection that they will be seeing other people for any other reason but purely for a physical thing. I think you should let her contact you, because if you want her back and she doesn't she will stop talking to you.

Answer 6

i dont think she knows what shes doing.
its hard to get to friend status when with an ex, cos its just so easy to forget what ur doing, and saying
give her time and a bit of space, if nothing else to see what shes really up to!
does she want u back?
write if you want but give her some space and let her make the first move might be a better option

Answer 7

Well im in a really similar suituation and i understand what your going through.
My adivce to u is that i would greive the loss of the relationship. I would act like you are definatly something to miss when u are in her presence. But i would let her come to u next and maybe ikeep your self occuped and not waitin for her call. good luck.

Answer 8

i think you need to talk to her and tell her what u really feel. If you still love her and want her back why dont you make a move and be true to yourself.There`s nothing wrong with trying especially if its about feelings. Maybe your ex gf is also thinking of coming back to you that is why she flirts with you,,, try to talk to her and ask her what she really feels for you now..
I had experience it before,after breaking up with my ex,we`ve been friends and sometimes go for a date until one day i found myself still longing for him,but i never made any move to ask him about his feelings for me,i just wait...But he never did anything too,months past by still have communication with him i told him i had a new bf and that was the only time he told me that he regret of not telling me the truth...He thought that because we still communicate he will never loose me, but during those time i thought that he just wanted me to stay around being friends both of us been a coward,and regret.
so,its better if u tell her your feelings,after all there is nothing to loose,or loose her forever...hope this would help u.

Answer 9

If you want to get back with her then you should keep in contact and gage her interest and eventually ask her if she wants to get back but play it cool and don't stalk her or anything.

If you know that she does not want to get back then you should cut her off completely..........relationships are like addictions to drug........when you come off them the pain will be very intense but if you prolong the addiction with having the odd hit or substitutes like methodone it will mean longer suffering.......it is best just to go cold turkey.

Answer 10

let her contact you but my opinion is she is keeping you on a burner if her new beau doesn't work out. if you want to be a yo yo you are doing the right thing if not drop her she dropped you more than likely for a different guy

Answer 11

You know what you want, she doesn't. I suggest you keep low for now and see what she does. If she still wants you, she will let you know. If she also keeps quiet, then you still have you answer, it would be time for you to move on.