What happens if the reason that he fell out of love with you because you weren't yourself or the person he did fall in love with in the first place. I wasn't myself for the last year (we were living together this year) of a 3 year relationship because of me being scared of losing him. I did extreme measures to make him happy, like being available to him all the time, letting him do what he wants avoiding any serious conflict (basicly losing my independence and identity). The reason why i did this was because he had committment issues in the past with me which made me think that if did everything to make him happy i won't lose him, but then he dumps me teliing me that he wasn't happy in the last couple of months and doesn't feel the same way by doesn't know why. I still love him and I regret in what I have done (in my case in losing myself first and then second, losing him)
2007-03-18 22:17:46 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Could there still be a chance
2007-03-18 22:27:46 · update #1
I empathize completely. I've done the same thing, so have all my friends and all their friends and so on.
But good did come out of it. After going through it and analyzing again and again (like women do) we all realized that WE weren't happy either and often the amount of bending backwards we had done had lead to much buried resentment on our parts that would have lingered in the relationship. This doesn't make it hurt and less at first but after contemplating the direction our relationships were heading it did make it easier to accept.
I'm curious as to where your love and acceptance and understanding and companionship was in this relationship you can't just give these things constantly without getting any back? Have a little more faith in you and your worth and stop telling yourself it is on your shoulders to get everything right...the sooner you can feel confident that you are lovable just as you are without any work then love will turn up ....it might be a rekindling of this old flame or a brand new fire and when it does it will be worth all the heartache that went before.
2007-03-18 22:40:16 · answer #1 · answered by zoe o 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friend,
Welcome to the world of post breakup syndrome. the first thing we tend to do after a breakup is to list the reasons of the event. whereas the fact of the matter always remains to be that atleast one of teh partners was feeling not compatible with the other.
You changed yourself at your own and wish and not his demand, it was your choice.
you made yourself all available and free all the time, it was your choice.
you let him be a free bird and explore whatever he wanted, it was your choice.
Committment issues happen in all relationships, because we all are human beings. you tried to reform yourself after the committment issues, it was your choice.
now get over it. He must be a good man, but look at yourself, you are also an excellent human being. Move on.
The easiest way to remember you past is to try to forget it. So please donot try to either remember it or forget it. Just be yourself and keep moving..
Remember the journey is not always for a destination, sometimes it is for the company of someone travelling along. Never understand your co- travellers to the destination.
I have been alone for 7 years now, after the similar circumstances that you are going through, but am still breathing and alive.
2007-03-18 22:28:25 · answer #2 · answered by Brave Heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
better luck next time around. lack of communication is the problem here and if he doesnt want to fix it...dont blame yourself entirely. at least he said something...gave some sort of ending to the relationship...an exclamation that its over.
Id rather have the truth or the assumption of a truth than nothing. telling you nothing is worse. quit dwelling on what has past and try to think of each day as you did your best with what was available. I dont believe you can love someone to much, or do too much for them. If he couldnt handle it dear...he probably felt he didnt deserve you but put the blame on you. peace
2007-03-18 22:31:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I can honestly tell you that when I read your question, it could have easily been typed by my own two hands. Word for word that is exactly what I am going through. I don't really know what to do either. Some things that have been suggested to me is to find yourself first. But not to find yourself for you ex's sake but for your own good. Unfortunately, we sometimes make mistakes that cost us the ones that we love. I thought that I needed to do everything that I could to make my gf happy but it was too much and she couldn't handle it anymore. The other way that you can cope is to find friends on yahoo answers like me who have been through the same mess and talk to them about it. It would probably be good for both of us : )
2007-03-18 22:32:20 · answer #4 · answered by Patrick E 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GIRLFRIEND----------wake up and smell the coffee----this dude is NOT for you---and quit blaming yourself-----there are PLENTY of men out there that would do anything possible to find a girl like you that is so willing to commit fully the way you have-------you did not do anything wrong----we get into relationships when we are at a young age-----things change----we mature and as we do we grow in different ways----and then one day we discover the person we are with is not the person we were first attracted to at all-----indeed----we may find traits we once considered charming to now be annoying.-----you are both growing and maturing in separate ways now and it is time now to move on with your life-----------it is time for you to find a new romance there my friend------one who will more fully appreciate the charms you have to offer----go ahead He's out there waiting for you somewhere.--GOOD LUCK
xxxxxxxxxxxxooooooooooooo
2007-03-18 22:32:03 · answer #5 · answered by EZMZ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres nothing you can do at this point but move on. Someone with commitment issues shouldnt be in a relationship until they are sure of what they want. Just find yourself now. Make yourself whole and get over him and get your life on track again. Rediscover yourself.
2007-03-18 22:28:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
TOO MUCH togetherness. A person needs room to breath and some privacy every now and then. You cannot change someone to fit your preferences cause everyone is an individual. It was your fault as you have said, so you have no one to blame but yourself. Move on and learn.
2007-03-18 22:24:36 · answer #7 · answered by Ex Head 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He strikes quickly because he's regularly occurring with of it shouldn't very last! He has dedication themes. He replaced into searching for an excuse and is comfortably blaming you so he gained't experience undesirable, even if it really is fairly sparkling he replaced into digging fairly deep to come across a reason to break issues off. provide him entire freedom. No calls, no texts, no longer something. enable him have his freedom. I definitely have a feeling in case you try this, he ought to come crawling again.
2016-11-26 21:59:24 · answer #8 · answered by newcomer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the attraction is the unavailability of the one being pursued . Once the pursued is available , that part of the attraction is old .
Time to find someone attracted by you and your qualities , not a score .
2007-03-18 22:28:33 · answer #9 · answered by gillemhor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chalk this one up to experience and learn from it. You seem to know what happened here and why, and that's good, because you can now apply this lesson to your next relationship. Always be true to yourself and who you are. People will always be able to sense when you are not, even if they can't exactly pinpoint it. Time to move on and take what you've learned here with you.....
2007-03-18 22:25:51 · answer #10 · answered by the phantom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋