Military mother-to-be!! Need help!!?

Question

Help!! My husband and I got married a year ago and we were wanting so badly to conceive right away. I had already had my 1st child from a previous relationship...anyways....we were trying before he was scheduled to be deployed to Afghanistan and nothing happened, but he returned in November and we immediately conceived!! Anyways, I'm 15 weeks and recently we found out that my husband could be deployed to Iraq in June!! So that would mean he'll miss the birth of his firstborn. As stressful as that sounds, this is my first time living away from home and my question is, should I move back home while he is away, or should i try to be strong and stay? I want to be around my family but i don't want anyone to think i moved back because i'm not strong enough....can someone please help me....i don't have much time to make a decision. thanx so much.

Answer 1

Im a military wife also!! my husband is getting out in june! i think you should totally go back home for the time he is away or at least just for a little bit..it gets very loney if you have no friends or work where you are..trust me my husband was in japan for 6 months right when we moved to his new duty station.. and i went home for a little bit and had people vist me...and most military couple concieves right after a deployment! we did also!! =) we are also due in 7.5 weeks..=)

and im not sure what branch your husband is in...but mines in the navy and the navy has a "navy wives club" where the wives in your situation get together once a week and you get to meet some pretty nice ladies! soo you should look into it if his branch of service has that! good luck! you will be just fine!!

Answer 2

I have 3 kids and my husband has been deployed 5 times, I totally sympathize with you. I guess you need to ask yourself how much you can handle? If going home will make you feel better then by all means do it. I see a lot of families move home for a time while their spouse deploys. On out 3rd child had my first 2 not been in school I would have gone home...for an extended visit. I do not know If I could handle the stress of living with my parents with a new baby along with my preschooler...but you could look into staying with a close friend or renting a 1 room apartment for the time (see if you can find something furnished). Keeping your current home gives you an out in-case you feel more pressure at home then you thought. Sometimes it is hard to go back as things are not how you remembered them to be.You may if you decide to stay at your current home, see what your base offers...There are many agencies that offer support while your spouse is gone, join a play group, and see what you can find on the economy. search the web for great chat rooms as there are plenty of them out there that offer lots of support. My suggestion, go home for the birth..stay 2 months and be able to take a trip home whenever you feel the urge to be near family. Good luck. Mom of 3 with a husband that goes at the drop of a hat.

Answer 3

I don't know what branch or the military your husband is in, but sometimes they will allow the soldier to deploy at a later date or not deploy at all to be home for the birth of a child. I'm in the Army and I have seen it done. It depends on your husband commander and if there is someone else who can do thier job until they can deploy. My commander allowed about five guys to stay back until their babies were born and he allowed other guys to take leave around the time thier babies were born so they wouldn't miss it. Your husband should start talking to them now to see if they can help him out. Also, depending on how long he was deployed, if he got back in November, he shouldn't be leaving again in June. In the Army, after a year long deployment, you have about a year before you can deploy again, so he should check into that also. Good Luck, though. IF he still has to go and miss his child's birth, I would go home to family so that I would have some help.

Answer 4

I am also a military wife, and if I had been in your situation with my first born I think I might have gone home with family...but only because we were new to this base. Now that I have close friends, staying here wouldn't be as bad. Just do what you think is best for you. Whether it's family back home or friends close by, whatever keeps you comfortable & less stressed throughout your pregnancy will be better for you and your baby.

Answer 5

Forget what anyone else thinks and do what makes your life the easiest. Your under an extreme amount of stress and will need all the support you can get. If your family is willing and able to provide that support then move home for awhile.
Thank you for your sacrifice and thank you husband for me too when you speak to him. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Honey i dont see why any one would think your not a strong women!! This is a time that you may need that extra support from family. If it was me I would move back until my husband came back home again. I wish you all the best and good luck =)

Answer 7

You are strong you have so much in your mind. I would move back home until hubby gets back. That way you can have extra hands remember you will have 2 kids to take care of. You can also use the love and support from family. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

This is why I refused to allow my husband to join the armed services (we were high school sweet hearts and he asked my oppinion on it). The armed forces to not respect the sanctity of families. They care about nothing more than training people to kill other people. We don't even belong in Iraq! But that is a topic for a different board....

Answer 9

it wont be like what your dad had to do. The Marines are greater demaanding than the Air stress, and that i dont think of you will omit something because of the fact my mum and dad are interior the air stress and havent ignored anytghing important

Answer 10

You need to do what you think is best. I have never been in that kind of situation. How long is he going to be gone for? and what does he think of the idea?