Okay. I know this may come off "wrong", but I just want to know if its, normal i guess...
My mom committed suicide 3 weeks ago, and we are starting to gather up her things. I will be going there on wednesday by myself to work, and for some reason, I keep thinking about looking in the basement where she did it. (she used a gun)...I am not sure why I keep thinking about this, but for whatever reason, i almost want to look down there.
I know its morbid and weird, but why am i thinking this, and also, is this normal? Do you think it would help me accept it? Im so confused, hurt, and feeling a hundred things right now.
Please dont make any rude comments, i really cant handle that crap right now.
2007-03-18 21:14:51 · 35 answers · asked by twinkles1614 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Its normal to you it would be a form of closure, sorry to hear about your loss..
2007-03-18 21:27:32 · answer #1 · answered by ompie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am truely very sorry for your loss. I do not think its morbid at all to want to know where she was when she did it... the surroundings. People do this to find closure. You would be able to see the last place she visited before she closed her eyes... sometimes get a feel for the surroundings as to maybe it will give you answers to you that no one else can answer. No its not wrong... You will feel better doing so.... go down and take a look take your time.... say a prayer.... Better doing it now while you can than later when the house is sold or in the hands of new people. There is Nothing wrong with having curiosity as to what where and why and again... why. YOu would be doing yourself a favor by getting it overwith and once you do.... you will be able to say that you did go down there and you searched for your answers whether you find them or not. Its better for your peace of mind... I hope this helps.... And may your mother rest in peace. God Bless and I pray that you and the family are doing ok.
2007-03-18 21:36:33 · answer #2 · answered by misspookett 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello....i am really sorry to hear this from you....
well,3 weeks is not a long time ....some people need 3 months recover from this situation...u are still normal because now you are finding way out by asking quetion here....
You are always thinking about it because of some reasons....
1.she is your mother ,she give birth to you and she is the one who understand you the most in the world.....of course ,u will miss her a lot...
2.Because she walked away with the method of committ suicide,maybe your mind will ask yourself is why she want to do that???did i done anything wrong???
all these question will make you thinking about it and getting confused and can't accept it...be more optimistic......
try this way..----try to think for your mom....she is so stressed and maybe something she can't handle then only she choose this way to end the questions and stress on her....As a daughther , you should forgive your mom of doing that and think in a good way....
i am sure now she have a peace mind in heaven because she don't have any stress but children is forever ever the most important thing in their life and heart no matter where they are...
Now you should do something and don't let your mom worry you....
Be happy and optimistic....
Many people around you is worried you........
try to talk to your friend and don't keep silent and suffer the problem by yourself.....
you also can do more exercise ,working to fill up the time....
i reccommend you to go travelling to another country.....
You also can talk to me if you want....i am willing to hear your problem....
email---- fruitchain_2020@hotmail.com(MSN)
avouch_aventise@yahoo.com(Yahoo Messenger)
Hope All These Will Help You
Thank You
2007-03-18 21:54:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the only way to accept death is to experience the reality of it in any way you can. It is especially hard when it happens to someone at a distance and suddenly, so you don't have time to say goodbye and by the time you get there, all signs that anything happened are gone.
Your conscious mind knows it happened, but a part of you is holding out hope that it didn't and won't permit closure until you do enough investigation.
All of this will resolve, however, when you see your family and those present when everything happened.
Suicide is a terrible thing and brings up a lot of emotions, including guilt and anger (almost in a cycle). You will need support of family and friends to get through it. You are going through normal feelings.
I am sorry for your loss.
2007-03-18 21:31:35 · answer #4 · answered by CaliDoc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel this way because you are looking for answers and some sort of closer. You'll never know the why of her doing this, so asking a billion questions will only result in more questions. Or maybe you know of the issues or problems she was having, but don't blame yourself because you couldn't do anything about those problems or for her. Some people do it because they are depressed or feeling overwhelmed. Some do it because they are dealing with or have a terminal illness. Some do it because they are "selfish" for lack of a better word - because they feel they would be embarrassed or humiliated if they talk out their problems. Even if it is with someone they know. If you feel you can handle going down there in the basement, go ahead and go there. And if you feel like saying anything that's on your mind, or about the hurt it has caused you - go ahead and do that too. That's not weird either.
2007-03-18 21:44:45 · answer #5 · answered by ThatsThinkingWithUR Dipstick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
i was really sorry to hear your story. I can understand what you must be going through. My condolences for the same.
As regards your query, well... there are two ways to look at it... 1) Going there and seeing that place might leave you scared and disturbed for a long time to come; and 2) It might actually help you discover something about your mother or even console you in a way. If you do not go down there and see tha place, the urge will be forever there in your mind and that will not give you peace.
As always.. to every situation, there are more than one right answer. However, if you asked me, I would probably have paid a visit to the place.... but then, I would try to move on and remember her not for the place where she died, but for the person she was when she lived.
2007-03-18 22:23:51 · answer #6 · answered by Raj 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the reason you need to go down there is to find some sort of solace in such a horrible situation.
I mean, it is the last place your mother was alive...and perhaps by going to the basement, it can help you come to terms with what happened.
You see this behavior all the time with people placing flowers along the roadside where loved ones died in a wreck.
Shoot, look at what is going on at the World Trade Center to mark a memorial.
So, in answer, no, it's not morbid, it is perfectly natural, and should you go down there, I hope you find what your soul is seeking.
Oh, did I give you a (((((HUGE HUG))))) yet?
2007-03-18 21:22:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about your Mom. :(
Don't worry about what's right or wrong. No one even needs to know whether or not you went in the basement. Okay?
Why are you thinking about it? Because you're human and it's natural to be curious about death. Is it normal? You know, I've never questioned Lisa Marie Presley's decision to keep her father's room off limits and frozen in time. It's a personal choice.
I don't think you would regret visiting the place where she was. I think you might regret it if you didn't though.
Please be advised that it can be an extremely overwhelming to do something like that. You may want to have someone you can call afterwards to talk to.
Wishing you peace and happiness...
2007-03-18 21:35:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI,
I do not think you are weird or morbid for wanting to see where your mother dies. I believe it will help you go through the grieving process. I am very sorry this has happened to you and I can't imangin how much pain you are feeling right now. I believe you are trying to come to terms with the death of your mother, and reality might not have set in yet. There is shock, and denial at first. It is a normal reaction to grief.
If you do decide to go and look , please have someone there with you. Do not go downstairs alone. Have support with you.
I hope there are good friends and family around you right now and you have plenty of love and support to help you through this difficult time.
2007-03-18 21:32:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are seeking a resolution to this in your mind, and it isn't morbid or weird, but it may help to have someone supportive go down there with you, at least at first, then you may feel like a little "alone time". Tell that beforehand to whoever accompanies you, and don't drive there or back yourself, as you may be distracted, emotional, and not fully focused on the roads, which are dangerous enough already. It may be helpful to talk about it with someone, later, when you are ready.
2007-03-19 01:18:24 · answer #10 · answered by CLICKHEREx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so very sorry and saddened for you for your your lost of your mother. I think it would help you accept your lost in the long run. If you go there perhaps even if it were with a friend or professional to talk to whilst your there it would help, but only do it when you have the courage and strength otherwise ten, twenty or thirty years down the track you would always have that "I wonder if" in the back of your mind for the rest of your life, write your mother a letter of farewell a happy one. All the best to you and others in the same position
2007-03-18 21:33:27 · answer #11 · answered by lesdavo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋