Should I play hard to get or just move on?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for about 9 months now. We've been through a lot together. I feel like our relationship is rather strong, we're not just a couple, we're best friends as well. Of course we have the occasional squabble but don't all couples? ha.. The problem is, is that he is so clueless sometimes and never wants to talk about things when there is a problem. I feel like i'm the backbone to the relationship in a way. He's EXTREMELY careless with his phone and his word isn't very good when it comes to calling me back or even keeping me in the loop as far as plans are concerned. It bothers me because I'm so different from him in that way. I know he isn't doing anything behind my back.. That may sound naive. But it really is just the way he is [with everyone] ;\ I just wish he was a little more considerate. Enough is enough. :( My question is, should I play hard to get with him? Would that change him? any advice is appreciated. Thank you

I feel like I've tried everything. Everytime something happens he gets mad and sort of just "shuts off" if that makes sense and he wants nothing to do with me.. He's like that with everyone.. He just doesn't deal with confrontation. He always says he's sorry and he won't do it again whatever it may be.. He has a very innocent mind.. I know he's not out to get me and he never wants to hurt me.. I'm just running out of ideas.. its too much to handle sometimes.

Answer 1

Obviously, he has other important priorities in his life besides you. And you are not always at the top of his list.

You take your relationship more seriously than he does. And this makes the relationship between the two of you unequal and unfair to you.

I suggest that you talk with him about this and explain to him why you don't feel happy in your relationship with him. And if his response to you is "tough luck, that's the way I am", then perhaps you should move on and create a better relationship with another guy.

But if he tries to treat you better and succeeds to your satisfaction, then stay with him and enjoy your relationship with him.

Answer 2

To me, no one is perfect. So can't expect him to become who you wanted him to be. If he is the way he is with anyone, so you should know he didn't do thing as he did to you in purpose. And I don't think it is a good idea for you to play hard to get. Most men are hated. I know because I knew. Been there when I was young, and most of the time it barely work. But I learn to compromised and it is working. And I also learn that I can't change a man unless he really wanted to change himself. So, if you really care about him try to be patient and discuss with him. If he loves you and he wants the relationship work, he will do something about this. If you have try everything under your power and he is not going to show any improvement then at least when you make any decision, you will not regret it later.

Answer 3

Sounds like he's been playing hard to get. Is it working? I would say that playing hard to get would work, but only if you do it right. What I mean by this is don't play hard to get with the intent of changing him. Just get out and get involved in something for yourself. Something that will make you happy and doesn't neccesarily involve him. If you really are doing somthing that makes you happy for no other reason than that, you will start feeling a lot better, stressing much less about your boyfriend and being a lot less clingy. Guys notice things like this and I would assume your boyfriend is no different. Also, if it doesn't work, what is there to loose? You are doing something that makes you happy, remember.

Answer 4

Dump him. Period. Trust me. Why? Allow me to quote from your question:

"we have the occasional squabble but don't all couples?"
--Well, define "squabble." It should be rare if at all.

"never wants to talk about things when there is a problem"
--plenty of fish out there.

"EXTREMELY careless"
--lose him now.

"his word isn't very good"
--dishonest, inconsiderate

"I'm so different from him in that way"
--why bother then. no seriously, why bother, plenty of fish.

"I know he isn't doing anything behind my back"
--maybe not, if he's dishonest.

"That may sound naive."
--Yes, it is.

"I just wish he was a little more considerate."
--You deserve better.

Answer 5

Sadly, it seems as though he hasn't grown up yet. He's a boy trapped in a man's body. In his mind, he enjoys being a careless adolescent without any concern for anyone else. One day he's going to hurt someone really bad if he doesn't pay attention to his actions.

I think it's time for you to consider your options, look deep within your heart to see if you're ready to spend the rest of your life with this immature adult. Choose wisely because divorce can be costly in the end, more so if children are involved.

Answer 6

You need to do whats good for you in the long run. Does this guy have a decent job? What if he knocks you up, will he remember to get diapers and baby formula when he goes on a beer run? Will he be able to support you? Think about all these things, then make your decision

Answer 7

Try the old 'playing hard to get routine' to see what results you get------It sounds to me like you may very well be getting the short end of the stick in this relationship and getting frustrated and feel a lack of the type of commitment you need.----you and he are just going to have to talk things out or it may very well spell out the end of this relationship.

Answer 8

adult adult males like the chase. all of them say they don't opt to play video games yet they do. you want to end calling and taxing him. Get transferring and flow out along with your woman associates and get a life. All dose no longer revolve round him. once he See's your no longer chasing him like a lost puppy he will both placed attempt into courting you or gained't. also do no longer bounce on the first ring from him play hard to get yet be very effective. Say i'd like to communicate yet i replaced into in simple terms on my way out with the girls am i able to call you later. (later in guy language means 2 days no longer 2 hours)

Answer 9

First, talk to him about it. Then play hard to get for a while, but not too long - guys might enjoy the challenge for a while, but after that it gets old and we get tired of waiting. If that doesn't work, then move on to someone who deserves you and cares about you.

Answer 10

Like you have tld us, that's how he is. playing hard to get will not make him more considerate....actually if you act like you are such a hard nut to crack he might loose interest and just walk away. i suggest you just talk to him and tell him exactly what you have told us here.,..............9 months is long enough for you guys to openly talk about such issues.