I'm not "step-mom" - but I've lived with my boyfriend since his daughter was 2. (She's now 12) There's been different living arrangements, but for the last four years - she's been living with us during the school week - and does most weekends and holidays with her Mom. I'm very involved in her life - and do the parenting stuff. (Pack lunches - drive her to school everyday - go on girlscout camping trips - help her with homework - chaperone the church youth group events - get her books from the library - talk with her about boys - watch American Idol with her - pray with her - discipline her - encourage her - etc.) And I LOVE parenting.
Latley she's hasn't been doing her homework when she's with Mom on the weekend. Tonight when she came home - I mentioned it to her Mom. And the conversation escalated to "You're way out of line! You're not her Mother!" I know I'm not her mother. I never claim to be her mother.
Have you ever said this to your kid's stepmom? Why?
2007-03-18 20:27:43 · 6 answers · asked by liddabet 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my ex doesnt always have the kids do their weekend homework when he has visitation at his home. I get somewhat miffed about it but I dont ever say anything to him...ultimately, its the kids responsibility. and i certainly dont say anything to her. I understand youre the step mom in this situation and the bio mom is pissed that you 'rated' her parenting. put a bit more emphasis on the child to do her homework when she's with her mom for the weekend. allow for punishment/consequences if she forgets. she's actually old enough to do it on her own.
peace
2007-03-18 20:36:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a step mom also and my Kids have a stepmom. I have not had this problem because my husband deals with his Ex and My Ex deals with me. Anything involving the kids should be dealt with between the parents of those children or you'll run into territory issues.
Have your hubby talk with her and you step back and just love her as you have been doing. It's his Ex so he has to be the problem solver with her.
2007-03-19 03:54:50 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Biological parents (especially when the child doesn't live with them) tend to get over protective. They tend to get highly defensive when a step-parent trys to step in. Don't take it personally. If the child only spends weekends with her mom, the mom may be starting to feel like you are taking over her place. Hence the reason why she's been letting her daughter get away without doing homework...to override your rules. Next time something comes up...Have her dad discuss it with her mom and just try to not discuss parenting issues with her mom.
2007-03-18 21:25:34 · answer #3 · answered by cutie_2008_09 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok ok I see the woodland for the trees right here sister................. From one step mom to a distinctive right this is the subject................. a million. supply up contacting her for something. I never ever talked to my husband's ex spouse. never. you are able to desire to bypass away her on my own. she would be in a position to't inform you to bypass away if the youngster is there at your place ....this is stupid. forget approximately that. it is your place. My god. 2. Your 10 yrs youthful. She is jealous of this. She is indignant and mad yet this is HER project in life. no longer yours. So recognize that. don't be around throughout the time of the visits if a possibility. I mean is the youngster coming to bypass to and stay?? if so don't be around or seen while the substitute is being performed. you do no longer might desire to be mutual acquaintances with people who're acquaintances together with her. save her at a sturdy distance. The husband ought to handle each and every thing I mean each and every thing all calls, all visits on the subject of her. no longer you. She is vile and would not rejoice with you. So circumvent her like the plague. you have a infant together with her Ex Husband. yet another thorn in her ingredient. See what I mean. so which you do the main superb factor and circumvent her. ok? sturdy success
2016-10-19 01:34:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter's stepmother is (fortunately) one of my closest friends, and has been since long before she ever married my ex-husband, however, yes, I used those words one time with her - when she bought my daughter her first box of Kotex before she had had her first period and explained to her how to use them - and my daughter was living with me. That bugged the hell out of me, and I told my friend, "Listen, you have your own daughter to do these things for, and you just stomped all over my territory BIG TIME. That's my kid, not yours. Next time you want to do something like that, talk to me first and make sure you aren't stepping on my toes."
My daughter lives with her Dad and her stepmom now, in California and I am in Texas. I couldn't have chosen a better stepmom for her myself. I feel that my daughter and I are both blessed that for a stepmother she has a woman who has known her and loved her almost since she was conceived - hell, her stepmother was the one who told me I was probably pregnant, go get a pregnancy test!
2007-03-18 21:23:06 · answer #5 · answered by j3nny3lf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is a security issue. the mom feels like she screwed up with the dad and lost him to you. so naturally when it comes to the kids they think that you are trying to take them away too. dont beat yourself up over it. it is her problem not yours. you did nothing wrong and you have every right to step in and find out why she isnt having her do her school work.
2007-03-18 20:38:03 · answer #6 · answered by wlfbelcher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋