What happens if the reason that he fell out of love with you because you weren't yourself or the person he did fall in love with in the first place. I wasn't myself for the last year (we were living together this year) of a 3 year relationship because of me being scared of losing him. I did extreme measures to make him happy, like being available to him all the time, letting him do what he wants avoiding any serious conflict (basicly losing my independence and identity). The reason why i did this was because he had committment issues in the past with me which made me think that if did everything to make him happy i won't lose him, but then he dumps me teliing me that he wasn't happy in the last couple of months and doesn't feel the same way by doesn't know why. I still love him and I regret in what I have done (in my case in losing myself first and then second, losing him)
2007-03-18 20:09:15 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No one should have to tippy toe that much around someone if they don't always agree or get what they want SO WHAT? You deserve someone who gives back as much as they get from you. You might have seemed too desperate or insecure but if that is the way he feels then let him go. He may not realize how much he cares for you until he loses you so don't make yourself so readily available for a few weeks and if you run into him act like you don't notice him and that you are alright and moving on! They hate to see that and usually want to make amends quick.Only this time let him be the one to win you back and walk on eggshells for awhile!!
2007-03-18 20:20:22 · answer #1 · answered by lilrunaway45 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Very common problem...
I'm sorry to say that you seem to be the type of person who's more in love with being in love than you were in love with that person...
True love is a two way street. You can love someone who doesn't love you back, but would YOU be with someone you didn't love just because he/she was in love with you?
A relationship can be about compromise, though it truly isn't necessary. I know it can be difficult, but you truly need to find someone who's your soul mate. It's taken me about 20 years to find that person, but I finally did it.
The problem with having compromise in a relationship is knowing when to hold the line. Who should give up what to make the other happy. If you're stubborn, or if you're partner's stubborn, that truly isn't compromising....That's changing. While some change can be good, it definately is not a good thing when you lose sight of who you truly are...
I can only give you my comfort for losing someone you love...But it would be the same comfort I would give someone who lost a cherished pet. I would say, take some time out to find yourself again. Don't dive into the next relationship that comes your way, but keep your eyes open...
Good luck!
2007-03-18 20:19:19 · answer #2 · answered by tomsense76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER! lower yourself like this ever again I know you must be hurting now asking these questions, You were no longer the person he fell in love with as you gave away everything he must of loved about you to turn into a yes girl. Relationships are lessons we learn about ourselves. I hope you learnt a good lesson from this relationship and never become so easy to the next control freak. Enjoy your freedom make new friends and get your life happening again. Be stronger and happy again.
2007-03-18 20:21:14 · answer #3 · answered by Riley 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel sorry for yourself. Although you may have helped him make his decision, he already was looking for a way out. You just gave him the springboard to do it.
You said he had commitment issues in the past. This is a warning sign for anyone! He wasn't looking for a long term relationship, he was looking for short term gratification.
You owe yourself to forgive yourself and forget about him. You are still young so it is time you start looking again.
This time, be honest with the guy if it gets intimate and explain what you are looking for. Don't sleep with him before you understand his intentions.
Hope this helps.
2007-03-18 20:15:42 · answer #4 · answered by Matthew D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg i know what you mean - i use to have this one insecurity about losing someone i didn't wanna lose at all so i couldn't really be myself. It's a known fact that the more insecure you get with certain things - the more you scare the person away. Ex: if you're constantly suspicious that the guy will cheat, he will eventually do it...it's not your fault because i know how you feel - you really don't wanna lose the person...but hang in there - talk to him and tell him everything you're telling us now :) good luck and i hope you never lose him!
2007-03-18 20:14:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is that the trick, say you don't care, and you don't want to commit to make a good woman. Do you really love him, or like the challenge of trying to keep him, when he really does not want you. Find somoene else that feels the same way you do, you can spend you time trying to make each other happy. It sounds like the rejection is bothering you though, it's not your fault, just move on.
2007-03-18 20:15:29 · answer #6 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He strikes quickly because he's regularly occurring with of it shouldn't very last! He has dedication themes. He replaced into searching for an excuse and is comfortably blaming you so he gained't experience undesirable, even if it really is fairly sparkling he replaced into digging fairly deep to come across a reason to break issues off. provide him entire freedom. No calls, no texts, no longer something. enable him have his freedom. I definitely have a feeling in case you try this, he ought to come crawling again.
2016-11-26 21:54:56 · answer #7 · answered by walpole 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to have a really good understanding of what went wrong in the relationship. I have to concur that when we try to be what we think the other person wants or needs, we are going down the wrong track for both them and us. By doing what we anticipate they want, we are acting out of our neediness. It is pretty hard to respect and admire someone pandering to us. When we see them doing things just to be loved, appreciated or wanted, it usually means we lose respect for them. The people we respect more are the ones who don't need us but love us and themselves equally.
2007-03-18 20:20:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he does know why. that is just what they say to make it seem like it isnt their fault. you put yourself out there for him and he knew he could do what ever when ever and he took advantage of it. now i would hope that you will learn that just because you are afraid to lose someone you wont do that just to keep them. some will even pass it around that you are easy to control and you could end up with much much worse so please be careful. you are a great person and you need to remember that
2007-03-18 20:14:48 · answer #9 · answered by wlfbelcher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guess is to be yourself that way people can see your real flaws, instead of your made up flaws. Too bad you lost him. Just find another guy, it's not the end of the world.
2007-03-18 20:12:54 · answer #10 · answered by 9987 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋