dilemma with boy friend??

Question

hi, last nite i was lookin at my fellas fone wen i found messages between him and his ex, one of the messages was like, some times wen i close my eyes i think of you and how things could ve been, (which he wrote) am i jumpin to conclusions! wat way do i approach this how i can i confront him without losin my head. we have a 2 year old together, did he text this out of pure drunkeness or wat? help!!

Answer 1

text messages the cause of most relationship breakdowns and arguments....two sides to this either trust your judgement and make up your own mind, like you have or ask him outright, of course he will lie...a text saying some thing like that can only be taken the way it was meant and that is he still has feelings for her.

play a game, albeit low, and next time you have his phone text her and let her beleive its him, ask her anything and guage the response, might hear something you dont want to but least you know..

i been there and got the t-shirt.

Answer 2

I would be bloody fuming if I was you... how rude, and disrespectful!!!

He should be happy in his relationship with you and building on the future as a family, not bloody reminiscing with his frigging ex..

I would stay calm, and own up to looking in his phone. Say it casually, whilst making dinner, or watching TV later tonight.. ask him what he meant by the text...

Take note of his reaction, and behaviour... don't make him try and turn it around, and start avoiding the question, and blaming you for looking at the text... get answers about WHY the text was sent, what contact are they having, how did he get her new number, what did he mean by what he said..

Don't care if it was a drunken thing or not... that is just a poor excuse!!

Question to you... why did you feel the need to look through his phone in the 1st place... not saying what you did was wrong, but did you have doubts over his behaviour anyway?

If he ain't giving the answers you want to hear, really reconsider you relationship with him, like i said before, he is being very disrespectful to you, your child, and your relationship... no1 deserves that...!

Good luck, im sure you will make the right decision, for you and your child.!x

Answer 3

Am very sorry sweaty but i think that he is messing with you and with her!!!
Did she write back 2 him?
Try to look his message for a few days c what is going on.
Check him out.
If u c other messages then go away from him.
U have a wonderful child that she/he needs to be happy.
His/her mum needs to be happy, and 2 have a father that is responsible enough to stay with his family and don't dream or go with other woman.
Try 2 found more info before u do anything.
Have proves, if not then he will make u look the bad one, that u r messing his life, why u looked him messages?
And that u r crazy.
U need proves before u decide 2 make ur next move.
I hope all the best.
And i hope that is just a misunderstanding, but i think it isn't.
Now with the baby and u he has new responsibilities, and he is not ready to face them, so he is trying to do something with his ex, it something old, he knows how it is, and with no responsibilities, u need a man, not a child, next to u.
Good luck.!!!

Answer 4

Hi, Why is he still texting his ex? obviously he hasn't got over her otherwise he wouldn't be writing things like that. You said he was drunk at the time, usually you speak the truth when you are drunk. I don't want to cause you anymore pain, especially because at the moment you will be in turmoil over finding this message but this happened with my husband, he was forever texting, and we knew it wasn't normal and yes he was having an affair. It's OK people saying you shouldn't look at his phone, they should be in this situation to know what it's like. Don't jump in with both feet, keep a log of everything that you find and then you can confront him with the evidence, this way you wont jeopardise anything if you are wrong. Good Luck to you.

Answer 5

That's an excellent choice of guys, a drunk baby-daddy that cheats....Great move in picking this one. Maybe raising your standards a little bit might help; or perhaps spelling correctly. I doubt that you have this child's college tuition set aside and are wealthy enough to have already retired so that you could have the time to raise this b_astard child. Another child born out of wedlock to a baby-mama who spells like a 4 year old; that's some way to help your kid. But then again, maybe you both can go to first grade together and get that spelling down right this time.

Answer 6

This is written in the Hebrew Talmud, the book
where all of the sayings and preaching of
Rabbis are conserved over time.
It says: "Be very careful if you make a woman
cry, because God counts her tears. The woman
came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be
walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but
from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be
protected, and next to the heart to be loved."

Answer 7

Get rid he's a losser if he had any respect for you he wouldn't even have his exs number in his phone,cut your losses he after her and he will keep denying it till he's caught out doing something worse. Men just haven't got the guts to come out and say it he will make you look like a fool.

Answer 8

i know you must be hurting right now, but he sounds like a bad one, he wouldnt treat you like that otherwise. he shouldn't be texting her things like that drunk or not. if he uses that excuse then it shows that it was on his mind anyway for him to say that when he was drunk. when your drunk you lose your inhibitions, meaning often the truth of things come out. I would confront him and dont let him change the issue (he might be angry at you for reading his messages). you need to get this sorted, decide whats best for you and your child. be carefull.

Answer 9

why on earth is he still texting his ex after several years? you obviously dont trust him else you wouldnt be checking his phone,If you want to know the truth I suggest you just come straight out and ask him where he wants to be, with you or his ex? it may be he cant have his ex as she is with someone else! and if this is the case, you are in second place, not a nice place to be....

Answer 10

maybe he is a bit nostalgic, remembering what they had.. but this doesn't mean that he wants her back. Maybe he believes that he wants her back, just for that, this is a common mistake. But it does sound bad to me, as if he feels something is lacking or wathever. Maybe you are not like he would like you to be, or who knows? people always deviate on their weird thoughts- Just try not to freak out and kep your eyes open!