I probably need a counseler or something, but I wouldnt know since I havnt had anyone to talk to about my feelings for so long. Im leaving for the marines in a few months and I havnt gone out with a girl in over a year, its pathetic. Im not stupid, ugly, dirty or anything. I just dont have any self-esteem anymore. Im kinda thin and really self concious about it and I know that it shows in my body language. Turning 19 in May. I feel like no girl wants to date a thin guy, not like i really ask anyone out cuz im way to scared to. Im not a weakling or anything at all, im tough and love to have a good time, but when i see a girl i like i just blank out and act like a complete idiot as if i have no personality. I dont know, if someone has some good advice that would be cool.
2007-03-18 19:47:28 · 10 answers · asked by PLUSMC 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wait until you've come out of the marines. I think that will help your self esteem issue. Plus you don't want to start a relationship when you are about to leave town.
2007-03-18 19:51:22 · answer #1 · answered by Patrick E 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work on getting yourself a few female penpals around your age, there are sites where you can find them, it's a good way to find out what girls like to talk about etc....also it will make you not feel so left out when other marines are talking about their girls back at home.
It would be nice if you could continue this whilst you are away also, which will lead you to receiving emails and letters etc.....as I'm sure you don't want to be the only one receiving letters just from your mom, aunt and sister....
You are about to leave soon, so dating may make things complicated if you start a relationship now then have to leave when you might not have a solid amount of history together to keep it going...one of you may get hurt.
After being in the marines, I'm sure you will come back more confident, and have many stories/experiences to tell which will make you more interesting to girls for sure.
Believe it or not most girls don't like body builder bodies, usually they prefer a thin guy but with some good muscle definition. I'm sure going into the marines you will build up alittle muscle if you haven't already....also most guy don't usually start filling out until they are about 20/21 yrs.
By the way, if you really just want to date now...then get yourself on a group date with some good friends...I'm sure a friend...or a friend's girlfriend would be keen to set you up. Make sure your mates are the ones that you feel most comfortable around, having a friend that gets your jokes etc...Go to the movies, that way the pressure isn't on you too much.....if you like each other then make the next date eating out with friends, where more conversation will happen..then walk her home so you can get to know one another more....let her do the talking by asking her about herself if you are still shy and don't know what to say.
Another idea, would also to go to a theme park, going on rides will get your adrenaline going, which I'm sure will make you laugh and relax more around a girl....good way to break the ice early.....
Also know the difference of feeling awkward because of low self-esteem, or if it's just that the girl just isn't your type.....
Good luck!
2007-03-18 21:02:04 · answer #2 · answered by nickieca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably have expressed the sentiment of 80% of all single guys at one time or another. I think the fear of rejection sometimes overtakes our senses. I recommend becoming a friend with a girl first before dating her. Then you don't have to worry about all the first date jitters and signals getting crossed. If you cant wait for a friend, try a dating service where they match your personality to someone else. However you do it, the best thing you can do when you meet a girl is to be honest, smile a lot and be complimentary. Hope that helps
2007-03-18 20:01:19 · answer #3 · answered by T. B. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey dude, thanks for your service to our country. Now with all the training and testing to be a marine--why the low self esteem??? Come on now, millions of skinny guys date girls and marry them too. You have to accept that life is what you make of it---you have to try, buddy...can't give up. Tomorrow is another day. It has nothing to do with looks or whatever. You need to enjoy being you...an individual with real talents and character...relax and just sit back for a while. The Marines will toughen you up---they are good with making men---men that stand tall---can be an individual or can act as a unit----you will see what I mean real soon. Life has no finishing line--you have to work at it everyday. You will be fine. Good luck, troop....see you around.
2007-03-18 20:00:16 · answer #4 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you probably had it hard growing up and for you not to have no self esteem well you picked a very good military experiance to join the marines will give you back your self esteem and you are still very young just wait till you hit boot camp lol theres so many women over there that they will be falling for you hand and foot and you will be shocked at all the women that jump at the fresh fish (meaning just off the bus etc.) so im keeping you in mind let me know how things go for you soldier ok plus women love to see a man in there uniforms put me on you friends list ok:)
2007-03-18 20:01:13 · answer #5 · answered by kambueno01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can appreciate your question's sincerity. I don't think you necessarily need a counselor. Reading your post makes me feel like maybe it's not the right time for you to try to find dates right now. Lots of people are not ready to date at 19. I didn't date anyone till I was 26, and I never felt like I was "missing out" on anything. Just live your life to it's fullest, develop your personality through meaningful work and in time, the right people will be magically drawn to you.
2007-03-18 19:57:46 · answer #6 · answered by bonnechancepetitchat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no need to go to a counseler,its nt a sin or something wrong if u havent dated over a year.u r jst turning to 19 u hav a long time ahead.guys change physically nd mentally alot so may after few years u may find ur waist num changed oky take it easy nd be happy u will find a date soon.gudluck
2007-03-18 19:54:11 · answer #7 · answered by lekha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in basic terms sell off the loser. you do unlike him, you count number on him. Kick him to the dimensions back and shop the home. you sense depressing and additionally you're with him, why no longer attempt it with out him? you'll be shocked to detect you sense relieved. If he replaced into searching for women on Craig's checklist, i might make an appointment at a women's wellbeing health facility and get each and every STD attempt they supply! Who knows of what else he has achieved you do no longer comprehend approximately? he's not committed to this marriage, so why permit him drag you thru hell till he exhibits one worth of leaving you for? Have some self-appreciate. positioned his bags on the front porch and alter the locks. have self assurance me, i comprehend how demanding it extremely is to end a marriage, yet this one desires ending. you will in no way be waiting to have faith him returned, and he's not interested in attempting to make it extra effectual. Get out before you waste any further time in this. once you ultimately meet the single you're meant to be with, you would be chuffed you probably did.
2016-10-02 09:08:00 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a marine.
Marines aren't mealy mouthed wimps like you. My cousin was a marine. My grandfather was a Sea Bee. One of my former coworkers served 2 terms in Afghanistan and 1 in Iraq. One of my best friends stood guard over president Ford's coffin when it was on display. Not one of them are as wimpy and waffly as you.
My advice is to start finding a girl by stop lying about military service before a real serviceman comes by and shows you the strength of national pride.
2007-03-18 19:54:15 · answer #9 · answered by Takfam 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
everyone has personality but not everyone likes everyone's personality. Girls aren't un-attracted 2 u because u r skinny, most would probably like skinny guys so mate u hav nothin 2 worry about.
2007-03-18 20:11:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋