Can any1 tell me good clean looong joke??

Answer 1

Okay so this one is a few days late but it is a good st. Paddy's joke that isn't nasty.

Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"

Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.



Oh sarah you forgot to mention that the husbands funeral is scheduled for next week. lol, sorry just a really important part of the joke.

Answer 2

Dunno if its really long but here it is.

The husband forgot his anniversary. His wife was really really mad, thretening to leave she was so mad.
The husband says "What can I do to make it up to you? Anything?!?"
and she says "Tomorrow morning I better see something in the driveway that will go from 0 to 200 in less than 60 seconds!"
So the next morning she looks out the window, theres a pacage in the driveway. She goes out, picks it up, brings it in the house, and opens it. It's a scale.....


Dunno if thats very good. thats just from what I remember of what someone told me, but it was the first one that came to mind. Do ya get it?!?