We have been dating since secondary school. 8 years that is. I don't ask for commitment, a marriage or material stuff. Just some pampering on and off (im really independent). I am always second best next to his band-yes he has a band. Having a soft spot for him doesn't help. He tries to take things lightly when confronted and promises to improve things. There is little effort......very little. and lately I just gave up hope. Pls advise!!
2007-03-18 19:25:54 · 16 answers · asked by hyda . 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ignore him for a week or two.
Make him realize what he is missing without you.
It could only end either way:
1) If he didn't try to reach you within those days...then he's an a-hole, which means he's still looking around searching for someone prolly better aka "the-girl-of-his-fantasy" he's living the edge of the rock-star-world. ( i guess this would never makes sense to you since you're not a guy like us.)
2) or He'll call you back...telling you how he misses you. Show concerns and sympathy asking what was wrong...which implies your guy is really into you. He just cant live without you ...nor his band.
if you fall for the category #1, then you're better off cutting him loose and find yourself another GREAT guy.
if #2 then...its workable. you guys have a great possibility of getting together as a strong bonded couple. But just be aware that only time could tell nor reveal his true intentions.
2007-03-18 19:39:34 · answer #1 · answered by confused zer0 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have done the best thing for the both of you. Being 2nd best to anything hurts and is not good for your self esteem. It will hurt for a while and you will always wonder "what if" but truely, if it is meant to work it, it will..... get your own interests up and keep intouch with him as a friend, let the love grow and you may have the kind of relationship (in time) you want now.... give yourself a chance to grow without him and see what happens. Wish you all the best - first best in love especially!!!.
2007-03-19 02:34:05 · answer #2 · answered by gudsport 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like my friends relationship but she's marrying this guy and they've only been together for about 3 or 4 years. She is second to cars and his mates.
She isn't going to do anything about it though, she is just going to sit back and watch it get worse.
It sounds like you're making such an effort n he's doing nothing! what i would do is tell him how i feel, and give him the chance to improve.... not change he can't change himself but he can do more to help you and spend more time with you! If he doesn't make an effort for you... then he is definately NOT worth it.
2007-03-19 02:31:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well My opinion is. You should either decide to fix things or end it. Its pointless being in a relationship if your not happy or he's not happy. Maybe it is time to move on. But after the amount of time that the two of you have been together, thats gonna be a hard decision to make. So take your time and really think about it. Cause after youve decided to end it.... it makes it really difficult to fix if you change your mind later.
2007-03-19 02:31:35 · answer #4 · answered by juli_jugz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a pity that u give up the relationship after so many years... But if u felt that u cant take it anymore, maybe its more better to part den to continue being together... get ursef a break and enjoy some time being single... sometimes there's good and bad being a single... =)
2007-03-19 02:51:39 · answer #5 · answered by porridge0000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well ... honey I can say I understand your situation. I'm living the same problem (we were together for 5 year) and your boy friend sounds exactly like the idiot I have in my life.
I am always second best next to every thing and every body in his life.
But the problem is honey... I got marred to that idiot (4 moths now) can you feel the **** hole I got my self in-to????
Don’t make my mistake!! He wills never change NEVER NEVER
Leave this relationship now or you’ll be miserable for the rest of your life.
I mean it (@_@).
2007-03-19 02:37:08 · answer #6 · answered by lestate_undead 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess start not to give effort back. If you leave him too suddenly, chances are you'll want to go back because of the length of the relationship. But he needs to be there for you if you are there for him. At least that's what I think.
2007-03-19 02:32:24 · answer #7 · answered by Jonathan H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its time to give up on this guy. He is just keeping you on the side in case nothing better comes along. Good luck on finding a nice guy, we are out there.
2007-03-19 02:35:41 · answer #8 · answered by Jim V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stop expecting and making hopes, life will become easier. I know its easy to say but difficult to do. But accept it as challenge and don't forget practice makes man perfect.
2007-03-19 02:31:10 · answer #9 · answered by ukriti 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break up with him and start dating. Believe me, if you start seeing someone else (and he really cares), he will notice. Maybe it will convince him that he needs to try to work things out. If not, good riddance! He has wasted enough of your time.
2007-03-19 02:33:13 · answer #10 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋