My bf told me that he loved me, but i'm not sure if i do love him.
I guess i'm comparing what i think love should be for him, to how i love my family and friends. It took me years and years to love my friends and trust them fully. I love my family because they raised me.
We've seeing eachother for maybe a year as casual - getting to know eachother as friends before even dating. We've been dating for maybe 4months. I dont know if i'm scared to say it?
Do you think if i say it i will feel more for him, let go of why i'm scared? I do really really like him, and i can see myself loving him in the future. But i dont just want to throw the word around.
I've never said it to a guy before (all other relationships have been with people i didn't even really like) i dont know why i can't just say it.
2007-03-18 19:12:14 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I dont see how you can say don't stay in an un loving relationship. when you first start a relationship you dont love that person. You can see yourself loving them in the future, n thats how i feel
2007-03-18 19:26:28 · update #1
"I love you" are the three, most powerful words to some people. Do not say it unless you mean it. :)
2007-03-18 19:16:31 · answer #1 · answered by VHagerty 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To your first sentence--NO. Proof of love is shown in many ways, & often, the 3 little words can mean nothing. Words don't validate love. Then, you write "..I'm not sure if I do love him." I don't feel that you're "scared," you're just not ready. If you can "see" yourself loving him in the future, just wait until your feelings "compell" you to say it; no big issue, & not like a vitamin a day as some people seem to require. "..if I say it I will feel more for him.." another no. Saying something you're not ready to say won't make it a truth. Four months is a short time. Serious relationships are built on "getting to know" each other. However, if you think he's expecting you to return his proclamation, perhaps it would be wise to express the feelings that you DO have, that you're not yet ready to commit your "love"--& make this as simple as possible, leaving the fewest possibilities for misunderstanding. This would in no way be "leading him on." I respect the wisdom in your not wanting to "throw" the word around.
2007-03-19 13:58:07 · answer #2 · answered by Psychic Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your not sure you love him then by all means don't say I love him. And if your not sure you love him then why stay in an UN loving relationship? It isn't fair nor healthy. You need to reassess your feeling. The more you stay with him the more you may be giving him false hope. In hopes he thinks you really do love him and he may be planning the future based on false love.
2007-03-19 02:22:31 · answer #3 · answered by Bluelady... 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you care a lot for him, but that you are not sure if it is the real thing yet. (There is no need to proclaim you love, have him fall deeper , then find out that you are not really in love with him after all. It would not be fair to him.) Tell him that you want to be absolutely sure before you use the word love, because you care to much for him to deceive him..
2007-03-19 02:22:58 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read some romance books. There are a lot of REALLY good ones out there. It'll give you a good idea about when to say or not say you love him.
In my opinion, you aren't ready for the "I love you" stage in your life yet.
Just don't tell him that you grudgingly tolerate his continued existence unless you really love him or or really hate him.
2007-03-19 02:25:03 · answer #5 · answered by Big Bruce 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I BELIEVE THAT IN ORDER FOR SOMEONE TO KNOW YOU LOVE THEM YOU HAVE TO SAY YOU LOVE THEM. I HAVE AN HARD TIME WITH SAYING THOSE WORDS TO PEOPLE TOO. I CAN'T JUST SAY I LOVE YOU TO ANYBODY. SO I UNDERSTAND WHERE YOUR COMING FROM. THOSE WORDS ARE SCARY....IT NOT ONLY MEANS YOU CARE ABOUT THEM BUT YOU TRUST THEM AS WELL. IF YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT THIS GUY I WOULD TELL HIM THAT YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT HIM BUT THOSE THOSE WORDS MEAN SO MUCH TO YOU AND YOU WOULD PREFER NOT TO USE THOSE WORDS UNTIL YOU ARE SURE YOU REALLY MEAN THEM. IF HE REALLY LOVES YOU HE SHOULD UNDERSTAND.
2007-03-19 02:26:19 · answer #6 · answered by tatyana17 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you still can't say it then wait for that time..there's a proper time for everything..maybe that best TIME hasn't come yet,well obviously it hasn't come yet judging by those deets...
just show your love for him okey...
but you can;t keep doing this to him...
sooner or later you have to tell him those words and mean it
its sooner or later...
2007-03-19 02:19:50 · answer #7 · answered by mysticbluz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you tell him that you lov ehim...you guys will become more together and more in love....and proboly the reason why you cant tell him sis because ur still not sure if you really love him or not
2007-03-19 02:18:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it isn't there it isn't there just tell him you're not at that stage yet, but be prepared, he could get hurt in this.
2007-03-19 02:17:36 · answer #9 · answered by Holly W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋