Is this woman making snotty and competitive comments or is it just me?

Question

I have an acquaintance (our husbands are friends) who I email back and forth from time to time. I recently emailed all of the people on my contacts list pictures of my son getting messy with his 1st birthday cake. About a week or so later she and her husband stop by my hubby’s work to ask him about something and she mentions the cute photos that I sent.

She then proceeds to tell my husband that she has an organic cake recipe that she is going to use for her son's first birthday (6 months away, mind you) and that maybe I'd want the recipe. She then explains that she found the recipe because she would never feed her son sugary cake on his first birthday. What was the point of her bringing this up 6 months before her son's birthday and after I've already had my son's first birthday?? It seems to me that she's always making little 'I'm a better Mom than you' comments.

Do you agree that her comments sound snotty and competitive?

Answer 1

What on earth is an organic cake recipe? Isn't any cake recipe "organic" if you make it with organic ingedients?

And how does she know that the cake you served wasn't???

Let me guess - this is her first child, right? And he is still a baby?

There will ALWAYS be mothers out there who are hell-bent on doing it better, faster, cheaper, healthier, cleaner, more attractively and more organised than you. Doesn't matter what it is. In reality they often don't, but they like to make it seem like they do.

It might take a few years but mothering in the "real world" should knock the holier-than-thou stuffing out of her.

Yes, her comments did sound snooty and condescending - it could be said that she was just trying to be helpful but I doubt it.

After 6 kids of my own and contact with HUNDREDS of mothers through my kids friends, school activities, sporting groups, music lessons etc etc you'll always run across mothers like this. Mothers who will compliment you by saying things like "I love your dress! I loved it when you wore it to the last PTA meeting as well...". They know what they are doing - and they think they can do it better.

Just let it wash over you. As long as you know that you are doing the very best job that you can with your child, don't let people like her undermine your confidence.

Tell yourself - I AM FABULOUS! I am a good, loving mother. Everything else is just frills.

Answer 2

Yes, I agree. Don't let her bother you, she's basically a bully who has no self esteem. Keep that in mind the next time you see her. You should pity her rather than getting upset. People like this belittle others to feel better about themselves. She must be living a pretty miserable existence.

I have an Aunt that sounds like this woman....She keeps her child as far away from sugar as possible. I have four kids and let them have candy (since that's part of what being a kid is about) The last time we got together, her little monster was the most bratty, bossy, cranky kid in the bunch! My well behaved kids were whispering complaints about her in my ear! lol Part of parenting is attitude, uptight sugarless moms are going to produce uptight sugarless kids. Relaxed moms who let a 1 year old dig into a birthday cake loaded with sugar ROCK!!!

Answer 3

Yes, she does sound snotty and competitive. I would not worry about retaliating. She sounds petty.

Sugar in moderation has not been shown to harm anyone. Organic foods have also had trouble because not all organic foods meet the qualification to be organic. They have also not completely proven that organic is better.

The next time she goes on about her son. I would simply say ‘that’s nice.’ Even if you don’t mean it. If she says anything about your son, I would simply say something to the fact that he only has two parents, or that childhood is short. Clothes can be repaired and replaced. Nutritionist even include sweets in moderation. Children should be children because they cannot be repaired, replaced, or loved in moderation.

I really wouldn’t worry too much about this woman. She sounds like a busy body know-it-all. Battling with her will only bring you down to her level. She must be really miserable knowing it all. She will never experience anything new. :)

Answer 4

No you are right- once people have their first kid, they go through a period where they think they are the absolutely experts and authorities on raising children.

Whats sad is that even though they have it done to them, they still turn-around and do it to each other. Its just plain smugness, not so much competitiveness (since she's already decided she's smarter and better then you)

You can either confront her or ignore her- but in the interest of choosing your battles wisely- i would say you should just ignore her for now- as long as she doesn't take it to far -such as make such comments infront of you family or freinds in a public setting, etc.

Most women have to put up with it from their mother in-laws as well.

Answer 5

She sounds like a jealous uptight woman who will never find any joy in anything that you do.She will only try to belittle you to make herself feel better about who she is.Very negative,I've known people like this myself and believe me their miserable people who are just itching to rain on someones parade so they can stand back and have a good laugh about it.Tell her you heard herbal tea goes really well with organic cake and ask her if the ice cream will be organic as well.Smile and be sure to fake a laugh when she gets a stupid look on her face and wonders how you found out about what she said.If I were you I would avoid being around her and find someone else that's more uplifting to know and supportive of you.

Answer 6

Forget her! she forgets that her son has his whole life to live. What's the difference between sugary cake on a 1st b day or the 12th? I have nothing aganist organic stuff, but if the cake is not sugary, then what's the point? She might as well give him Beets and Onions soaked in vinager. She probably likes your husband and wanted to get his approval and appear better than you in his eyes. I feel sorry for her son. Organic cake...EWW!

Answer 7

i think of there is often 2 facets to issues. actually, she might desire to be attempting to be great? i rather am a shy guy or woman and people take me the incorrect way each and every of the time. i'm in many circumstances labelled as being a B or snotty while rather this is because of the fact i'm no longer comfortable in a situation and that i act distinctive than what I many times might. i think of that in keeping with risk she did no longer mean it in the way which you're seeing it. in keeping with risk she merely meant giving sugar isn't sturdy for absolutely everyone, and in keeping with risk she replace into attempting to strike up a communication with you, in keeping with risk she replace into uncomfortable. yet on the different hand, I mean come on infant's first cake must be a candy and messy one suited? regular, you have gotten considered issues distinctive than what she replace into attempting to portray besides the fact that if it might desire to be which you're suited and he or she is a aggressive mommy. If considered one of those situation has happened countless circumstances together with her, than ya you have a sturdy reason to think of that she's being aggressive, which if so, take it as a compliment. If she feels like she has to compete with you for some reason or yet another, there's a reason of it. in keeping with risk she is jealous of you? or in keeping with risk she is in elementary terms a B****

Answer 8

Don't feel bad about it - moms like her do exist and you will encounter them many times in your "mommy life". The best is generally to ignore them, just smile and do it your own way. As long as your child is happy and healthy, don't worry about high and mighty parents, because whatever you do, you won't ever live up to their expectations.

It's a sad thing, that mothers feel the need to be in competition with each other instead of supporting each other. But don't worry, you'll find other moms, who are more like-minded with you.

As long, as you give sugar in moderation, your little one will develop a healthy relationship with food. I've seen moms ripping away cupcakes from their kids at school-parties because they contained sugar and those poor kids were crushed. I've seen moms, who complained at school-parties, that they served soda to the kids and ripped the glass away.

Healthy nutrition is very important, but if one overdoes it, the kids won't be happy.

Kudos on you for allowing your little one to make a cultivated mess!

Answer 9

I see women like that as insecure about themselves, they have to bring up little things like that to make themselves feel better about who they are and how they parent. You are doing fine with your son, the majority of children eat sugary cake on their birthdays. And just because its organic, does not mean its not sugary, it just means the products that she uses are not treated with pesticides and stuff like that.
I personaly think she is making an unwise decision, my daughter is allergic to organic foods.... which I find strange.
Anyhow, Yes I agree with you, she is being snotty, I know people like this, and for that fact I steer clear of them.
If you have to make those kind of comments, then you definatly feel that you are lacking in your job as a mother, and have to make up for it else where.
sugar is not bad for a child, as a matter of fact, its good for them to have it in small amounts so that when they get older they dont go "sugar crazy".

Answer 10

Sounds like she's a two-faced, jealous b*tch. She is the kind who will always make "everything" an unwanted, unnecessary competition. Why can't she just be happy for you and use her own brain to do something for her son? I feel sorry for her family because she is going to be responsible for their downfall.