why do people say public schooled kids are better socialized????

Question

this irates the heck out of me, my son went to publc scholl for for 1o years and the only socialaztion he got was to have the crap beat out of him emtionally and physically. my daughter started having panic attacks so bad she couldn't walk into that school without vomiting....could i have screwed them up anymore by keeping them out of that envitoment? now my son went through all those years of hell and still won't get a diploma but will get a GED......can someone PLEASE tell me just HOW public school does a better job???

whoa i can't believe some of you people...my children are by NO means problem children, they where NOt the ones who went to school and made threats to other classmates!!! it is a very small town school....my children meant NOTHING to the system! yes i graduated from this same school...although i can't see what that has to do with anything.....yes they are white children going to a pretty much all white school. my son is NOT a fighter...he's very much a pacifist and never not even once knocked the **** out of one of these kids who constantly did it to him. some of you people need to open your eyes and see what's really going on in public schools! thanks to those of you who understand and support

refugiotrans....what fears did they get from me and in what way? i didn't teach them to fear school....i shoved them out that door crying and begging to be home schooled EVERYDAY! i taught my children love EVERYONE hate NO ONE only their actions.

blondie....i love your answer!
Public schools can either make or break a kid depending on their experience. sadly it broke my son....it's been a year at home now and he's starting to put himself back together

koldsauce12....is fighting what makes you a man? I'm proud of the man i've raised! how does a child of about 60 lbs fight off the bully who is at least twice his size.....and when that person has his buddies standing in line ti help beat the **** out of this guy who is much smaller than him what kinda chance do you think he had? and YES the school knew this was going on! they did NOTHING to stop and guess what those bullies will be getting there diploma's....BTW my sons IQ is up around 150

Answer 1

I wonder if this is just the line everyone hears in favor of public school. It's really a load of crackers ;P because as I told my daughter's teacher and principal, school is not "the real world". In the real world we need to get along with people of all ages- we're not all kept in a box with people of our exact age. I am seriously considering homeschooling my daughter next year. I think the only way school would be necessary is if a child had no chance to regularly interact with others. Otherwise, hurrah for homeschool!!!

Answer 2

Public schools don't only do worse, they do a horrible job.
Taking them out was, at that point, the best thing you could have done as their mother. You are the one doing a good job. You didn't screw them up because you put them in that environment, you wanted them to get an education. The ones screwing up are the parents of the bullies who don't do anything.
I've actually found public schoolers to be rude and disrespectul because they don't hace time to build character because of the busy work. Sitting in a classroom with 40-50 other students is not socializing. A 45 minute lunch period is not socializing.
I've found homeschoolers to be more polite and respectful because their parents can shape them the way they need to be.

I used to do a program called Ecot. It was public school, but completly over the internet. I'm now doing American School of Correspondance so I can graduate early. They are both accredited diplomas and nationally recognized. You should check them out for you kids if you want them to have more than a G.E.D.

Answer 3

It's a shame, isn't it? And we all having parenting decisions we wish later on we could take back.

People are very limited in their thinking about what socialization means and how the schools are supposed to support that. Socialization is actually the process of adoption the social norms around you. These norms are attitudes, behaviours, language, dress, etc. It's why there are so many different customs and what have you around the world. Why somebody born in a foreign country can have such a difficult time moving somewhere else--the societal norms are so very different.

Each school, and to some extent each classroom, is its own little society. Most kids become well socialized to the norms of these little societies. Unfortunately, the norms of these little societies may not be what's really best for these kids.

I realize this is not what people mean when they talk about being socialized. They mean having social skills, which is only a small part of being socialized. The problem they have is in thinking that you can only develop social skills by being around a lot of people all the time. As though human beings have always sent their kids to school with masses of children grouped together according to age. And these are the people who would never homeschool because this idea is far too engrained in their heads, that their kids would somehow miss out on developing social skills. It can be explained to them over and over how the kids are not kept in little closets where they don't talk with anyone, but it won't do any good because the idea is firmly cemented. They have, in essence, been socialized to see it that way. ;)

ADDED: OMG, prom and year book and things like that are "normal"? So, anybody who comes from a place where they don't have "normal" things like that as part of their schooling (or who didn't take part in those things) shouldn't have lived in that place because they can't relate? How about the reverse: that those who were in public school can't relate to those who were homeschooled? And fwiw, I never took part in sports, yearbook and things like that in high school and we didn't have a prom.

Answer 4

I think you couldn't be more right for feeling the way you do. I'm 16 and with the support of my parents although they did want to make sure i was positive i wanted to be homeschooled. I was teased a lot a school and given dirty looks all the time even though I never got beaten physically(thank God!) I might as well have. I got to the point I would just breakdown and just cry. The only thing public school did for me was teach me to be self contious and feel like dirt. It makes it seem like the only thing there is is "fitting in" which isn't true. Now that I'm being homeschooled (for the past 4 monthes) I'm finally feeling A LOT better about myself. I've also been a lot more social than I ever was before. I spend time with friends still we go to movies,bowling ect. I even get together with some of my friends that are homeschooled. Unlike what public schoolers think theres much more to life than dances, cliques ect.

good luck with your decision i hope all goes well.

Answer 5

Because it's familiar to them and stepping out of the box takes guts. Socialization is just a cover issue for non-conformation. Which used to be prized in America but has now become a sin. Also because many people feel threatened by homeschoolers --- if you say that ps aren't cutting it then many feel you are making judgements about their parenting as well.

Why won't your son get a diploma? YOURS is just as valid as the ps! Issue one of your own and do the GED is you feel it's necessary. Homeschool oasis has some great info on high school/diplomas/grades,etc. Very encouraging! (http://www.homeschooloasis.com).

Don't worry about kids not growing up either -- the fact is most homeschoolers are SO much more mature than their ps counterparts --- ex: my 17yodd felt out of place at camp but here's the thing ... the other girls were worried about hair and makeup and boys while she was concentrating on what she was there to do (Child Care Assistant). Not that she didn't notice the boys ... but it wasn't her focus; she doesn't have time for the petty stuff! (Which of course thrills Mom!) . I get compliments all the time!

If you put kids with kids you get kids, if you put them with adults you get young adults. How stupid is it that we expect them to act like kids or even like little heathens until they are 18 and then oh hey now you're an adult why don't you act like one?!

More money obviously doesn't help either!Or the schools would be doing a better job.

Stick to your guns - you're doing what's right for you and your kids.

Hugs!

Answer 6

First of all, not all homeschooling programs require you to get a GED. The one I went through gave me a diploma after I graduated--one that is accredited, so colleges accept it well.
Depending on the public school, it can be a good thing, but so much anymore, it is not a good thing. Kids are bullies. There are so many gangs (at least in my town) it's ridiculous. In many public schools, students are forgotten by the teachers.
Columbia University conducted a study that showed that homeschoolers scored higher, on average, than other students.
Did you also join a support group for both your children and yourself? I was homeschooled for the last two years of high school, and I was social enough that I didn't need one. However, many homeschoolers do need some kind of a support group.
Public school doesn't do a better job, in many cases. There are, of course, bad examples that go with homeschooling, but there are many more bad examples of public schooling. Homeschooling just gets a lot of bad publicity because people assume that the children are socially misadjusted. In some cases it is true, but in many more, it is not. In the past, socialization was a problem, but society has met the challenge.
Public school does not do a better job. My sister had the same problem as your son. Personally, I feel that I didn't get to socialize very much in public school. We had a little bit of time before school to talk, but most of the time we were grabbing our books and heading to class. During school hours; we couldn't talk in class; we only had 3 minutes to grab our books and get to the next class; we had 45 minutes to stand in line, get food, eat, get our books for the next class, and get to that class; after school, we either had to rush to the bus or rush to extracurriculars.
As I have said many times before, public school doesn't do a better job. If they did, why is that so many teachers homeschool their children?

ADDED: And many homeschoolers have extracurriculars, dances, field trips, etc. now. Homeschooling co-ops have met the challenges and have made homeschooling a pleasant experience. I wouldn't have traded my homeschooling experience for the world.

Answer 7

I know what it is like to force your kid to go to a PS. I did that with my oldest and unknown to me she was being picked on by a family member and a "friend". She was younger than them and one of the moms worked at the school and would call the other parent and say that my oldest was doing all this stuff BUT never called me. The kids picking on her and who she was supposedly doing things to were twice as big as her and very mean when an adult was not looking. Then to add insult to injury a reading teacher was causing problems too. She was slapping the desk when she wouldnt get things right and other things like that. When I put my kid in Pre-K like you are "suppose" to she was "above average" and when I pulled them out of PS 2 years later they were trying to hold her back. Unfortunately it was not just one of my kids But all 3. After a certain teacher got done with them they were behind and I tried to get involved but I was always turned down. It is a really long story and I won't go into it all here. BUT my kids are catching up and are Very social. They have friends that come over and the neighbors kids are here occasionally. they also are comfortable talking to adults and children alike. My oldest is still very self conscious because of the one teacher. I will probably never know what all happened. The thing was is I thought that school was okay I went there as a kid. But things have changed even since then. I would have to be dead before my kids went to PS but even then I am sure my family would make sure they were not in a PS. There are so many options and advantages to homeschooling that socialization is just a cop out and public schools get more money for each kid they have so of course they dont want you to homeschool. Also WHY would you want your kid to be in an enviroment of sex, drugs and violence is beyond my comprehension. I am just as smart and educated as some who have attended college and have a degree in teaching... As a matter of fact I have helped 2 with their assignments and other things in studying to be a teacher. Education does NOT always come from a classroom.

Answer 8

The public school system has been poorly run in this country. The teachers are underpaid, the students are not well behaved, and no one seems to care about the students anymore. Some faculty seem to have forgotten why they became teachers in the first place. They're just burned out. I don't blame them.
As a person who was public schooled, and is now home-schooled I know how you feel.
(WOA: Gets your kids into counseling now! This whole experience is going to be very traumatic, and they'll need to talk a professional. Get them some help with these issues. They're probably traumatized. I wish you all the best of luck!)

Answer 9

People use the 'Socialization' to back their own fears. These are people who can't be bothered to deal with their own kids or don't have any kids at all. Pay no heed to these narrowminded Nay sayers. All the PS's do is pigeonhole our children, make them feel inferior, push them thru without really careing and gives Diplomas to children who can't read or write. The only thing our children are is a $$ sign, because for every child they have in their school they get paid x amount of dollars.
Some of the greatest people in the world were Homeschooled (Abe Lincoln is just one).

ps: your spelling is fine

Answer 10

Ok here it is, Last year I was in regular school and I was getting the $#*& beat out of me, and the year before that I was home-schooled and my family was giving my parents crap, because they thought that I would not be 'socialized" and so I went to regular school so my family would back off and I got beat up got my arm broke and my hand broke by a baceball bat. I went to the principal and she did not care (it was her kids) I went to the superintedent and he told me and my parentes that kids will be kids. So I told him that he should put his kids in school insted of home schooling and he said that his kids would be killed. So right there it showes homeschooling does a better job than public school. So I left public school and then my parents started to get even more crap from my family, and I had enough and right when the argument was at it's peak I got up and said (exact words) "That is enough, If y'all want me to go to regualr school then just kill me now because if I stay there I would be in a coma, or worse by the next time you see me. Now you can give me all the B.S. you want because it is my choise to be home-schooled so I can live. Now the next time you give me or my parents crap I will leave and you will never here from me again." I haven't spoken to them sence. I will be recieving my diploma this year through homeschooling. Today the superindent, and the princapal are job less.