I'm not really a step-mom - but I've lived with my boyfriend since his daughter was 2. (She's now 12) There's been different living arrangements, but for the last four years - she's been living with us during the school week - and does most weekends and holidays with her Mom. I'm very involved in her life - and do the parenting stuff. (Pack lunches - drive her to school everyday - go on girlscout camping trips - help her with homework - chaperone the church youth group events - get her books from the library - talk with her about boys - watch American Idol with her - pray with her - discipline her - encourage her - etc.) And I LOVE parenting.
Latley she's hasn't been doing her homework when she's with Mom on the weekend. Tonight when she came home - I mentioned it to her Mom. And the conversation escalated to "You're way out of line! You're not her Mother!" I know I'm not her mother. I never claim to be her mother.
Has this ever happened to you? Why does it happen?
2007-03-18 18:09:59 · 6 answers · asked by liddabet 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
As a stepdaughter, let me point out something to you. You are her mother. Her Mom is her mother, of course, but you are as well. You raised her. Continue to keep raising her as you are. You sound wonderfully supportive, and I'm glad that a girl somewhere has such a woman raising her. You will probably hear that a lot over the years, but keep it to yourself, in your heart: you aren't related by blood, but you raised her and you love her. You are her mother just as much as her biological is.
2007-03-18 18:22:36 · answer #1 · answered by Lynnie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was never in this situation. However I was divorced, and had my children also go to thier father for visits.
If things have been going smoothly for 10 years, then it is possible now that your step-daughter is growing up her real mom sees her as a grown person, and is starting to get jealous. You might have hit a nerve during the conversation without realizing it. Don't let it escalate for the child's sake.
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Sounds like your relationship with your step-daughter is really great, and she cares allot for you. Next time you speak to her real mom make believe nothing happened. You be the bigger person. Your step daughter will love you more for it. You don't want to put her in the middle . You sound like an intelligent person. Work around her mom, and never put her mom down. It will only cause your step-daughter to grow up with low self esteem.
Keep up the good work, sounds like you have been doing a great job under difficult circumstances.
2007-03-18 18:27:27 · answer #2 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's an easy reason for this she feels that your taking her place as the rightful parent who can tell her what to do . It's very typical of split families to have this problem but thats the truth your not her mum and although you live with her dad and know her very well she doesn't want to trying to be her daughters parent.
you might want to leave the parenting up to the parents of this child as it sounds like no matter what you do and even though the child spends limited time with her mum. her mum sill had a firm grip over u and possibly the child too.
2007-03-18 19:21:43 · answer #3 · answered by kaceek21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband has a son (12) and 2 stepdaughters (6 &15) from a previous marriage. He takes care of them all even his stepkids. There like his own daughters. They dont know there real dads so they call him dad. Anyways they came to live with us 2 months after we were married. I cut back to part time to be home when they got off from school. Cooked, cleaned ,helped them with there homework. Read beadtime stories to the youngest ones. We'll one day the youngest one got into trouble and smarted me off and I sent her to her room. When she talked to her mom later that day. Her mom demanded to speak to me. She also told me I wasnt there mother, but neither is she. she's on drugs and has guy after guy around. i just ignored her even though it made me mad.
2007-03-18 19:23:08 · answer #4 · answered by Mom to Isobelle 2, & Gavyn 8mths 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like Godzilla Mom has a major jealousy issue. Pathetic.
2007-03-18 18:27:56 · answer #5 · answered by littlechrismary 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell her yes i know im not her mother but she need a good edjucation maybe thats why she hasnt been doing it maybe its cuz shes a bad influence and tell her the truth dont let her take control of you... and talk to the daughter about her homweork too
2007-03-18 18:14:27 · answer #6 · answered by someebeooddyyy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋