Well I just met this girl the 2 weeks ago. I really like her personality, morals, and we seem to get a long great. She has let me know she is interested in me and I have told her the same.
The only big thing I am worried about and that bothers me, is she likes to drink and go to the clubs with her friends....and I don't. I'm very outgoing, but hate clubs and I don't drink. I really would like it if she just didn't but I dont want to be a dictator. I feel like this may be a problem later on if our relationship continues.
My question is, should I accept this and just try to trust her and let go of it, or stand by what I want and not date a girl who drinks? Other than the drinking, I really like her.
2007-03-18 18:01:24 · 23 answers · asked by Socially Challenged 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
**UPDATE**
Thanks to everyone who answered. We both talked this week and decided it wasnt going to work out. We dont want the same things at this point in our lifes.
She loves the clubs too much and..well..I really hate em. She said she didnt want to be tied down at this point in her life. But I am glad I ended it now instead of waiting. It would have been harder.
Thanks for the help again guys.
2007-03-21 04:36:08 · update #1
i think if you like this girl very much try to go out and explain her in detail about your relationship with her that is so very deep and that you don't want her to go to the club ,drinking,with her other friends. .my opinion is if she likes you a lot she should put out those habits aside and be the way you like i know how you feel right now it is hard but try to talk to her again .and if she continues to do that then you have to decide what you like the most . and i feel if you go ahead accepting all these you might as well would live unhappy always it is better to explain her in the beginning and what you want her to do good luck
2007-03-18 18:23:22 · answer #1 · answered by honey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This question kinda sways me in two different directions. First, I think it is very possible that if you pursued this relationship and things went well, you take her out and show her the fun she can have without drinking and going to clubs, she may give them up. Or the nite club thing may be in her blood and she may enjoy it so much that she will never stop going! Also it is possible that she has an alcohol problem and if she does run for your life. So....I would.....try in on for size and see if she continues to drink and if she does then you know what to do!! Other words no do not accept the drinking, if you don't like it than being with someone who drinks won't work. the thing here is to see if she will stop drinking.
2007-03-19 01:18:10 · answer #2 · answered by sash 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I don't drink but I have no problem with my girl drinking, which is cool because we go out have fun and I drive her home safely.
About the clubbing well maybe you are judging her too harshly on advance but if she is a party animal and into getting totally drunken like a loser then I would say walk away, she might be even be into drugs; besides heavily drunken girls are cheaters and sleep with any guy they just met at the clubs.
Just try to find out what kind of person she really is before is too late.
2007-03-19 01:56:45 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you've only known her two weeks I think it's too early to bring up your disapproval with ANYthing she does. It's not like you're engaged. Loosen up a little. If it goes on for 6 months and you still are bothered, then consider bringing it up. By NO means am I saying compromise your morals or values. I am saying loosen up. I was at the bar every night in my early twenties. I'm in my late thirties now and haven't entered a club for many years and haven't even had a sip of alcohol for more than 5. She's prolly young.... nothing says she's doomed to a life of alcoholism and betrayal!! I had soooo much fun when I was younger and I wouldn't trade all that fun for anything in the world.
2007-03-19 01:06:37 · answer #4 · answered by squealy68 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on, its only been 2 weeks, you won't be missing much. Don't ever bend your standards because that's the ONLY problem this person has. One problem can become a BIG deal. Drinking and going to clubs is a lifestyle and you two don't share that lifestyle, things will get shaky because of this. You will start to get tired of it, do yourself a favor and get out now before you're in too deep
2007-03-19 01:05:46 · answer #5 · answered by First Lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two weeks you say?
I say you just break it off now while things aren't so serious...
because trust me in a year from now you'll regret not doing it now...You should never try to change someone...Unless it's like an addiction or what ever, but in this case she's most likely young & looking for a good time. Let he have her fun & you just move on down the road to someone more of your taste. There's nothing wrong with trying to get what you want...Why seddle for something you don't really like? Just cut things loose before it's to late...k...
Good luck bro
2007-03-19 01:13:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
two weeks into a relationship and this is already an issue? Run, run, run....find another girl. It will only get worse.Can you really see this girl being the mother of your children? I know it's only two-week, but you always have to view new relationships with this attitude.
"honey, can you stay with the kids tonight, I'm having a girls night at Club Mayhem". She wants to party. Maybe in few years she will settle down, but it sounds like your in a different place. Are you willing to wait?
2007-03-19 01:10:09 · answer #7 · answered by ohbrother 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should always stand by what you want. Never let your true feelings subside. There is someone out there that fits you. I recommend reading a book by William Glasser called Staying Together. It gives the 5 basic needs in a relationship. It will help you determine if a person is right for you.
2007-03-19 01:06:55 · answer #8 · answered by Melt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Date her, but don't demand anything of her. Wait to see if she is ready to give up the clubs and drinking on her own. You can't change a person, they have to want to change them self. If you ask her to quit, she may do it for a while, but will she eventually miss going? If a relationship is developed, where will it go from there? Down the tubes, probably.
2007-03-19 01:11:18 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stand by your morals. She may give it all together if she really wants to pursue any relationship with you. If she ask you about it just tell her as much as you are wanting to pursue this you don't drink and you would prefer someone that feels the same.
2007-03-19 01:11:57 · answer #10 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋