Have you ever been so hurt and angry that you just want to get even?

Question

He has used and abused me mentally and physically. I can honestly say that everything he has right now, he has because I helped him so much start his life over after some very serious problems. I loved him so much, and he used me so badly it kills me to think about it. I am so hurt and humiliated. I have the power to make his life like it was when I met him, he will have nothing, no job, no money, no car. Is it wrong to want to take all the things away from him after he did me so wrong. Lies, cheats, betrayal, even hurt me badly financially and refused to help me when I needed it. Should I do it? He is in this country illegaly, working with a wrong SS number, driving an uninsured car with no drivers license. Should I turn him in? He lied to me something terrible, and hurt me so bad. I am dying just thinking about it.

Answer 1

Denise,

I really know how you feel. I have dated this very beautiful women for 5 1/2 years who had a 3 year old son when I met them and now he is 9. But in that time I put my heart on the line, put my best foot forward and went way beyond the 110% to do anything and everything to be with them both and to make them so super happy. In our relationship we argued in the first month together and after that for the rest of the time we did not ague at all and agree on everything. We just instantly clicked.

When she broke up with me she just threw a bunch of lies and accusations at me that were all not true and that is what really hurt me the most after everything I've done for the both of them.

So at times I just want to get even but as much as she did hurt me I still care about them both.

Yes! It's going to hurt. And you will always have this "BROKEN RECORD" in your mind playing over and over again. But the best thing to do and it's hard is to just let it go. I'm still feeling the pain from my ex because nobody has ever treated me so ugly in a breakup as much as she did.

If you attempt to get even you may get yourself into more trouble than it is worth. He may turn on you and accuse you of things and would possibly put a restraining order against you. So as much as your heart tells you to get even, it's best to not do anything at all or else you may get yourself into trouble. And you really don't want that. You be the better person and make him the fool.

There is nothing else I can do to make my relationship better with my ex, but I do go to church and pray for them both.

So just hang with your friends and give lots of hugs and love to your friends and things will come around for you and me.

MJ

Answer 2

If he has abused you physically and mentally and he is here illegally then Do it. Do it and don't look back. When you do it, you will be doing yourself a favor not to mention society in general ....so thank you in advance ....but all that said, I must worn you..... you will only feel better for a short time because the pain of the lies and cheating and all that he did will stay with you for some time. But how long depends largely on you. First: get your revenge and help society. Second: let yourself grieve for a week or two. Third: begin to pick up the pieces by taking care of you. What does that mean?......Makes sure you take inventory of yourself and try and figure what is it about you that picks these kind of guys. That won't be an easy task and it may take some time......it requires some brutal honesty with yourself....not blaming others, but honesty about yourself. Once you have discussed this with yourself and understand alittle better how you tick when it comes to men, then you can slowly change those things for the better so that you can, in the future, make better choices when it comes to men. I really wish you well....Good Luck!

Answer 3

First *hugs* I am sorry you are hurting and going through this pain. However,.think of how many years you would have suffered had this not ended however it did. Yes he use you, yes that is wrong. I personally would want to get back at him too...just not in such a drastic way.

Think on this for a time.

Is it *really* worth it to do this? If you ended up reporting him, he could very well, and most likely point his finger at you. Thus involving you in a nasty immigration case.

Surely, he will just find some other innocent woman to do this to. These people are called users. They never stop, they never learn, it is a sociopath's behaviour, a con man's.

But. You are better than that. Raise your head up, and make standards for men! You now know the warning signs of users, right? You will be more wise the next time a man waltzes into your life. He did something terrible...don't let him mes your life up anymore. Don't let this dishonourable pathetic excuse of a man get the best of you!!

Answer 4

First off you were what he searched for--probably played some hopeless cute guy to get you--he knew how and when to snag you--he spotted you a mile away---you are the caretaker type--a syndrome that is common--and the creepy insecure men that look for you are abusive manipulators---you already met the type I am talking about. millions of you match up and do these silly games for a while---he plays needy and you play mommy. Well the game is over--you got screwed and you better move on immediately--before you get hurt for causing him trouble--and he will hurt you because he is the dangerous type--not to mention your assistance in getting his phony info and all the other stuff---he'll say you did it and the court will believe him--I have seen it all and I know the judge will ask why you stayed--because he knows your type.This guy knows you felt lonesome and would play mom to him--but he knows how to hurt you too--so get going and forget him--then work on going to find out why you settle for losers--when you know you can do better than that. Learn a lesson from this. Good luck

Answer 5

No, it's not wrong to want revenge. Heck we all have at one time or another with someone. It's a human emotion, and it's usually for a good reason.
Yes, it's wrong if you act on it. Your giving up your personal power by letting anger consume you. Being a slave to your emotions, be they anger or anything else is only hurting yourself.
By moving on and leaving this person to his own demise, which will most likely inevitably happen anyway, you will be strengthening yourself, and I think you will probably feel much better about yourself, knowing you can rise above such actions.
Be strong, and just try and let go of all that anger...as they say..."What goes around, comes around" - "Karma" and all that type of stuff.

Answer 6

Yes I have had the same feelings. Think about what you want to do before doing anything stupid. Don't you think he'll get what he deserves without you doing anything? There is a lot of fish in the sea just jump over the dead ones on the beach this time. Good luck to you ! Move on.

Answer 7

wow...sounds like tough times...in a way i see why you might want to get revenge but what will that solve? only that your stooping to his level and i'm sure your better than from what you have written. If you were to turn him and then who knows what could happen after that...maybe an ongoing feud that would end horribly....everything happens for a reason...he'll get his when the time comes be patient

Answer 8

I'd leave him be. Let karma deal with him. Eventually in the long run he'll get caught. Just minimize your involvement with him and get on your feet. Getting even with him would only make it worse, not only for him but for yourself as well. Tell yourself that you're not evil as he is. You have a better sense of dignity than he does.

Answer 9

No, as much as you feel like you should get even don't. It will come back on him. He's an illegal alien, driving w/no license and no insurance - oh yeah, he will get in big trouble when he gets caught. Just take it as a loss and move on and let karma come and get revenge for you. Forgive him, forget him and move on.

Answer 10

Take a deep breath and think about it. Revenge is great as long as he doesn't come back to physically hurt you. I would turn him in to Immigration. He is a low life and you have suffered enough. Take care.