Alright I have heard a lot of bar/bartender jokes.. So now I'm on the hunt for the best of the best.
I want your best bar joke. Please only one per person
Hit Me!
2007-03-18 17:49:50 · 17 answers · asked by Jared T 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
a man walked up to the bartender and said '' i bet you $100 that i could pee in a shot while standing on the bartop''
of course the bartender said yes because by looking at how drunk the man was he'd be getting $100 easily.
so the man got up on the bar and let it rip, he completely missed and peed everywhere, thus losing the bet.But even though he lost the bet he started laughing histerically.
'' why are you laughing? you just lost $100'' asked the bartender.
then the man replied '' coz i bet that bloke $1000 that you'd let me pee all over your bar!"
hahahahaha
2007-03-18 19:25:23 · answer #1 · answered by coco_baby 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Best Bar Joke
2016-11-06 22:05:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've probably heard all the X walks into a bar joke so here is one with a twist:
A baby seal walks into a club.
2007-03-18 17:52:53 · answer #3 · answered by Vlad T 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants. The bartender looks over at him and is overcome with curiosity. He walks over to the pirate and says "You do realize that you have a steering wheel down the front of your pants?". The pirate replies, "Arrr, and it be drivin' me nuts".
2007-03-19 02:15:24 · answer #4 · answered by badkitty1969 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A 3-legged dog walks into a bar and says "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."
Sorry, it's the only bar joke I know.
2007-03-18 17:54:38 · answer #5 · answered by littlechrismary 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
A string walked into a bar and asked for a beer, The bartender told him to get lost and said " we don't serve strings" So the string went to another and another bar and kept hearing the same thing:
"we don't serve strings"
Finally his poor nerves were so frazzled, and he got himself into a twist, when he walked into another bar, the bartender scowled at him and asked "Are you a string?"
to which the string replied:
"No, I'm a frayed knot."
2007-03-18 18:49:19 · answer #6 · answered by mysticalviking 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I'm not sure about the bar joke, but based on the other two responses so far: what about an oldy: "Did you hear about the two bums who got into a fight in the washroom?" They both got wiped! Bottoms up!
2007-03-18 18:01:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
First little pig goes into the bar Drinks a beer, pays for it, goes to the rest room, and leaves.
Second little pig goes into the bar drinks a six pack of beer, pays for it, goes to the rest room, and leaves.
The third little pig goes into the bar, drinks a case of beer , pays for it and gets up to leave. The bartender asks him "don't you want to go to the bathroom before you leave?"
"No," says the pig. " Haven't you heard of me? I'm the pig who goes wee wee all the way home."
2007-03-18 18:15:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Last night, my friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek! Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She called the guy back, licks the $20 bill and sticks it to his other butt cheek. In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a $50 bill, calls the guy over and licks the $50 bill. I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again.
My relief was short lived. Seeing the way things are going, the guy gyrates over to me!!! Now everyone's attention is focused on me, and the guy is egging me on to try to top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet.
What could I do???? . . . . . The woman in me took over!
I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his *** and grabbed the eighty bucks.
2007-03-18 17:58:46 · answer #9 · answered by LilyRose_69 2 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Arriving home very drunk
A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home."
The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times. They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. He stops the car and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man.
The drunk's wife greets them at the door: "Why thank you for bringing him home for me, but where's his wheel chair?"
2007-03-18 17:55:01 · answer #10 · answered by azza s 2 · 0⤊ 4⤋