I have 2 children and they both sleep in our room.....?

Question

My husband disagrees with me on this....We have 2 children and they still both sleep in our bedroom, it makes me feel safer because there are some sick people out there and maybe I am just paranoid. I do not think it will hurt them emotionally and I figure when they are ready to move into their own bedroom that they will let me know. BTW my daughter is 7 and my son is 21 months. They have their own beds so we do have the bed to ourselves. Am I overprotective or is this normal??

Thanks for all the answers so far! To clarify, neither one of the children sleep in our bed, they noth have their own. My paranoia is not the only reason they are in our room. I just figure if it makes them feel safe then it is not hurting anyone. My husband understands my reasoning for having them with us, he just did not grow up like that. I was able to sleep in the same room as my mother until I was ready to go to my own room, and I have a very good relationship with my mother, she is the reason I am everything that I am today. Keep the answers coming!

Answer 1

My two year old never slept well with me even in the same room so she is in her room and daddy and I in ours. But my husband and I have different beds (we work different shifts). We still have mommy and daddy time but everyone in our house has their own bed (even the dog). But this is what works for my family and you sound like a great mom so if this is what works for your family go ahead and do it. Your not hurting your kids. If this is the worst problem in your house you have a wonderful family. Good job Mom and Dad.

Answer 2

Well it is normal for some people, but your 7 year old daughter is getting to the age that you might want to move her to her own room. Honestly I do not think you are paranoid, but maybe a bit overprotective. Your daughter is first approaching puberty and being in your room might bother her. You should also consider your husbands feeling on this. Remember it is his room too, and if both he and the children are in there than he has been pretty darn understanding so far. I do not think them being in there will hurt them in anyway, remember in some cultures whole families share not only a room but the bed as well. It really is for you and your husband to discuss and reach a solution that you both feel comfortable with.

Good luck.

P.S. My 14 month old sleeps in our room in his own bed, so I feel you girl.

Answer 3

In many countries and societys whole families of several children and even parents and grand parents all sleep in the same room. The Native Americans all slept in the same shelter. Nothing was ever considered harmful to them.

Today, in the western society it seems that if the children sleep in the same room with their parents or sibling(s) it is bad and something bad will happen. To me this is the outgrowth of a sick society that thinks only bad things can happen if adults and children sleep in the same room or even in the same bed.

If this makes you feel safer about your children sleeping in the same room with you and your husband then you should do so. If you husband is afraid your 7 year old will hear the two of you having sex wait until she is asleep. If she awakens she will most likely go right back to sleep and never realize anything.

My answer may upset many of you but I believe if you do some research you will find that it is not at all uncommon for the children to sleep in the same room with the parents in several areas of the world, including the USA.

Answer 4

I think co-sleeping is great! Childhood is so short and marriage is so long. Why rush the inevitable. They won't go off to college and still expect to sleep with mom and dad. Those people who say "they'll never sleep alone" are so full of it!

My daughter slept with me until she was around 3.5 and she is fabulously independent. Independence is not something you can force. A child needs to learn trust in order to feel safe to explore their autonomy.

I do question the reasons behind your situation though. If it is solely because you are scared of someone "getting" them in the night, then I think some therapy might be in order. Its no good to live in fear. it will rub off on your girls and you don't want them to always be afraid do you?

i think that you and your husband need to have a talk with the older child and get her input. Ask he if she wants her own room and have your husband gently explain his reasons. Give her a choice and let her set a "move out" date if she wants to. A 7 year-old may want to start having sleepovers soon and will need to be able to do this without you when she wants, but other than that I see no reason to discontinue a healthy co-sleeping situation.

If you have a 21 month-old than it must not be inconveniencing your sex life too much!

Answer 5

It is normal. In many cultures, all over the world, and even in the US, families sleep together. It provides bonding between parent and child. Safety issues are also a good reason. If your children feels comfortable sleeping in the same bed, then why not? Do what you feel is best for your family. Your children will eventually (sooner or later) will decide to sleep in their own room. There have been TV shows and books written on why co-sleeping is great for children and parents. Many modern, American families are having a 'family bed' and have not observed any negative results.

Answer 6

I slept in my parents room for way too long and at 11 finally decided to go into my own room. I have slept fine on my own ever since then. I am an only child, so maybe I was a little lonely in some weird way. It would probably be best to make them sleep in their own room. If that's too much then let them share a room. Your husband obviously wants some time alone with his wife! Don't forget that you are a wife and not just a mother.

Answer 7

this is not good for the kids. You have a husband, and your bedroom should be for the two of you. Get them into their own rooms and put baby monitors in each room and turn them up if you need to. This could hurt them emotionally. They might have seperation anxiety, feel paranoid themselves, get teased if friends find out (7 year old), not have a sense of independence at night time, not have a place to call their own, a place where they can relax by them selves..... just not a good idea.

Answer 8

You are just being a little paranoid. I can understand a 2 year old sleeping in your room, but 7? It will just end up hurting your marriage. If it would help put your mind at ease, have your kids sleep with their bedroom doors open and you keep yours open at night too for awhile. Also you can try getting an alarm system, or think about getting a dog.

Answer 9

Overprotective and this may cause problems in your marriage if you are unwilling to come up with a compromise. My son is 6 and about once a week he is able to sleep in my bed, unless of course he wakes up scared in the middle of the night. My 3 year old sleeps in his own bed too. He usually goes to sleep next to me on the couch and then I move him. Start a routine and move them into their rooms. You will get more comfortable with it over time. If they get scared, they will let you know.

Answer 10

Put alarms on your windows. Doors. It will make you feel safer. I have seen this turn bad to often. Your daughter is 7, she will never voluntariliy go into her bed on her own now, when she can go in yours. My mom let my brother and sister sleep in her room, and they are now 10 and 12 and WILL NOT sleep alone. They each have their own room, but sleep with all lights on, and with each other, since my mom wont let them in her room. It isnt a good idea, kids need their own place, and your husband needs his too.