why is it so hard to trust someone else to watch your child?

Question

my daughter is almost 9 months old and i want to go back to work but i cannot find anyone i trust i am even skeptical of daycares with webcams

ok jellybelly im not saying i want to go out i want to go back to work!!!!!! i know what i signed up for!!!! thanks for making me feel like a bad mom. i want to be able to buy her more things and take her to more places but my husband and i dont have the money for alot of extra stuff. i just wanted to know that i wasnt neurotic for not trusting ppl with my kid like my mom says i am

Answer 1

I have the same problem
im in Iraq at the moment serving with HM FORCES
MY KIDS ARE AT HOME WITH MY WIFE IN GERMANY
SHE WANTS TO GO TO WORK ASWELL
BUT IN 6 DAYS IM OUT OF THE ARMY AND HOME FOR GOOD
THEN SHE CAN GO TO WORK AND ILL BE THERE TO LOOK AFTER THE KIDS
IVE DONE 15 YEARS SERVICE NOW I THINK MY KIDS NEED TO GET T KNOW THEIR FATHER
6DAYS TO PUSH CHRISSY!!!!
ICH LIEBE DICH
DICK(RICHIE IN BASRA)

Answer 2

Never feel or think that you are a bad mom, no mom is bad. But sometimes she has bad or worst times where she is very helpless. I think you should stay with your baby till it turn to the age of 5/6. Yes, it is next to impossible to trust someone else other than your life partner to watch your child. Reasons, only a mother can understand her child very well, the mother knows the sorrows & hurts she had to get this child. A child's language is understood only by the mother & not by any other mothers, even sometimes dads fail to understand. All I can say is, this system is the gift of Nature Mother. Lastly, even if you get a trusted person, who is going to feed the milk to the baby for the entire day, it is suggested that atleast for 1.6 years the baby should have mother's natural milk.
Just think, you can work & earn later too, but if something dangerous happens to child then, you can only repent & nothing else you can do. So, think & then take a decission.

Answer 3

YOU are a good mum and if you didnt worry about who looks after your child when you work THEN you would be a bad mum. Maybe you could consider working nights somewhere. If you husband/partner is happy to be supportive. I have just started working in a care home for the elderly 3 nights a week. It isnt a job with many prospects but here are the benefits:

a) i get to spend the days with my little one.
b)i have extra money to spend on my two kids (8 and 10months).
c) No paying for childcare. So every penny i earn is ours.

Answer 4

Because when you have a child it's like pulling your heart out, putting arms and legs on it and then watching it totter about.

The truth of the matter is that I'm very similar-we're in Wales at the moment and when we have a function to go to my family come over to babysit from Staffordhire-because there's no way I'm going to some baby-sitting club and keeping my fingers crossed.

You're not a bad Mum for going back to work either-I went back to work when my son was one and will probably go back part time once the two youngest are in school.

Answer 5

Because that little girl is the most precious thing you will ever have. Is there a bit of you finding it difficult to let go? Are you a bit of a control freak? These people are trained professionals and probably the best you'll get but if you feel strongly about this then perhaps the best thing is for you to look after her yourself.

(Although this answer sounds a bit strong its not meant with any kind of bad feeling or attitude).

Answer 6

completely normal i went back to work when my youngest was 3 months left him with a child minder i could never relax, i ended up taking him out of the care of the nanny and putting him in a day care (nursery) didn't have web cams but i felt much more relaxed when i knew there would be more then 1 person looking after him you just have to learn to trust and relax give it a go, after a few months you will be fine good luck


ps, you are not a bad parent cause you want to work, you are trying to better yourself for the sake of your child, dont let stupid people on here make you feel bad

Answer 7

Any good parent I've ever known has had a trust issue regarding the care of their children. Knowing you can't be right there if they need you is one thing you have to deal with, plus nobody takes care of your child exactly the way you do. You've heard the saying "mother knows best?" Well, it's truth!

Answer 8

You just want what is best for your child and want them to be safe. It is normal. Do some research and find a daycare that your friends are comfortable with, chances are it will become easier. I chose a babysitter until my kids were 2, then enrolled them in daycare for more socialization. They did fine and have more friends.

Answer 9

I know how you feel, I have a six year old son and the only people I trust to look after him are his grandparents. Call it paranoia or over protective, but as long as I can see him he is safe.

Answer 10

I believe that everyone will their own answer to this question and only someone who has children can honestly answer it. My baby is six months old and I am terrified that he will miss me and not understand that I am coming back if I leave him temporarily. Also, I will miss him dearly. There is not a simple answer to this question: my baby will miss me, I will miss him and no one will ever be as good a caregiver and give him the love that I can.