I asked to join a playgroup/mom's group where "everyone is welcome" and got told that "I'm sure you would rather be in a special needs group" because my son has cerebral palsy.
Doesn't this sound like they are trying to tell me they don't want my son in their group? There aren't any special needs playgroups around here anyway. Besides the fact that it shouldn't matter if he has cerebral palsy or not! Just because he can't walk shouldn't mean that he should be segregated from "normal" kids.
I am really feeling angry about this. What should I say to this woman?
2007-03-18 17:06:12 · 27 answers · asked by Gemini 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I wanted to add that I can't go to the group until they have "approved" me - which they do via email.
2007-03-18 17:20:15 · update #1
I can't attend the group because until they approve me via email, I do not know where they meet.
2007-03-18 17:21:27 · update #2
Wow. I can't tell you how much it means to me that you all gave me such support! I feel better just knowing that there are people out there who understand why this is upsetting to me. I am looking for a different playgroup to join, but in the meantime, thanks for your advice and comments!
2007-03-18 17:59:33 · update #3
That sounds like what they are saying. And frankly it makes me mad too. It shouldn't matter if your son had any problems. He should be able to join anything. I'm sure the interaction between kids would be great for him. I would see what options you have so you can put him in this group. I would tell them that they dont sound like an Equal Opportunity Group, and that is not right. Do what you can to try to get him in there, or go to the church and see what other options you have for him. Good Luck
2007-03-18 17:12:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I suppose that this is how black children felt years ago! Do what they did, protest and protest some more
all right thinking people are behind you!
Discrimination in any form (disability, sexual orientation, race etc) HURTS people. Have you discriminated against someone because he or she is different? If so then you will know that most often this behavior is done out of ignorance. Once they learn that his disability wont rub off maybe they will be more warm to the idea.
maybe this is your calling to educate them!
WHile you are thinking about doing that, why not reapply and pretend to be someone else with a 'normal' child so thatyou can find out where they meet.
expose those bytches for who they are and arrive with flyers and pictures of your little angel along with your email address. You might be surprised to find that it was not a 'group' decision.
If they are an internet group, why not out them on the internet....tell all, email addresses and the works so that they can hear about it!
(people can be really mean on here, use that to your favor)
then
Join a church based playgroup and your child will have much more fun .
2007-03-19 17:53:50 · answer #2 · answered by lisa s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would find out where the playgroup is ran through and, if possible, talk to someone from there. In my area the playgroups are ran through the schools, but this isnt the case everywhere. I am the mother of a legally blind daughter and I know how it feels to have my daughter discriminated against because of it. Do you really want to be part of a group that doesn't feel your wonderful child deserves to be a part of? Disabled or not, your child can and will find a way to fit in. Some people just can't understand that. good luck.
2007-03-18 17:56:50 · answer #3 · answered by angel_kissed_2003 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, you now have two options. if you still would really like your child to be included in this group, then by all means, keep on fighting! unless that person that said, "I'm sure you would rather be in a special needs group," is the leader of the group and controls all their actions, there is now way they can actually stop you from joining the group. however, if you decide that you would rather have your son attend a group where he will be readily accepted, there are lots out there, and you could even start your own group!
2007-03-20 03:08:15 · answer #4 · answered by look _inside 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God that sucks. I am the moderator of a playgroup where I am, and I must say being the parent of two children with special needs, it can be lonely.
i wish there were a legal recourse for you, but unless they are more than an internet club, there is nothing to do but either stand your ground or be the bigger person and go where you and your son will be welcome.
If you happen to be anywhere near Houston email me (through my profile) and I will tell you about my group.
Sorry to hear that people can be so unthoughtful to a child.
2007-03-18 17:35:17 · answer #5 · answered by Heather 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHAAAT! First is this group part of a school or organization? I would report them. What is this a Country Club group where you must be accepted. I hope this women is not representative of the entire group, maybe you should talk to the others about her concern, they should know what she said to you. You should also voice your concerns. If I were you I would start my own playgroup or find another, but before you do I would confront that playgroup, don't let it go.
2007-03-18 17:42:56 · answer #6 · answered by ohbrother 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a son with kabuki syndrome and I agree with your right to feel angry but remember it is our job as special moms of special kids to educate the world who apparently don't know any better . Stand your ground. Attend the play group. Kids are such an inspiration to adults. Let the other kids in the group get to know your son so they can grow up to be more accepting than their parents.Also..there is a chance that the parents really thought they were being helpful. Be insistant on your decision to stay with that play group but be polite, friendly and articulate in explaining to them why. You get more flies with honey than with vinegar.Good luck and god bless you and your son.
2007-03-18 17:14:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's unbeleiveable and I'm sorry to hear people, especially "mommies" can be such a__holes. Certainly there is a number where you can reach the people in charge of this group and air your frustrations. I think maybe they are unsure how to befriend someone with a disablitly. People do stupid things when they are scared or afraid of the unknown.
There obviously is no "special needs" group otherwise she would be in it herself....sorry, that was just a jab at that moron. Good luck to you and your little lamb:o)
2007-03-18 17:50:45 · answer #8 · answered by Poptart 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
'one woman 'its not like the whole group is segregating you .Just do what you feel is right .I moved into a community like that and before long all my kids were the star of the crowd.Just give it some time .Sit back and see what you can do to be helpful .And someone should offer to help you as well.I found one friend in another community after that we moved too and my son was always a bench warmer so Im hoping that changes this year.We still yell and cheer the loudest when they do go out .Now all the parents do.
2007-03-18 17:13:58 · answer #9 · answered by Gypsy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kindly thank her for her thoughtfulness.... and then explain that you believe other children 'deserve' to know and love your son... and then explain the wonderful qualities that are uniquely his! Nelson Mandela has a quote -- "There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere..." The only way to overcome prejudices is through education... and real life is often the best education of all. It is likely that the mother you are speaking of didn't have any (or much) positive exposure to people with disabilities -- so the best thing you can do is allow the children of your son's generation to get to know and love him just as you do.
2007-03-18 17:18:50 · answer #10 · answered by janni 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋