Ok, here’s my story. I’m a high school senior and I had a crush on this girl in my class since about the middle of my sophomore year. It wasn’t until this past summer that I told her how I felt, she then told me she felt the same about me. Well this summer, she moved, and now she lives about 2 hours away. And in spite of that fact we decided to try dating. And we went out for about 4 months.
At first we got to see each other every weekend, but then she started playing basketball, and I had wrestling, and she got a job; so we started not being able to see each other for weeks at a time. Eventually she decided that we should break up; she told me that she just couldn’t take not seeing me every day. And at first I thought maybe she was right. We decided to take a break from talking for a while.
After about a month I realized I wasn’t getting over her, and we started talking again. At this point wrestling and basketball were over, she quit her job, and now I have a car. So I thought maybe we’d get to see each other more often, and maybe we should give it another chance. But before I got to say that she told me she has a new boyfriend. Now they’ve been dating for about a month, and I can tell she really likes him. I want to be happy for her, because she really is the best person I’ve ever known and she really deserves to be happy. But there is a big part of me that wants them to break up, because I’m still hoping I can be with her some day.
I can’t stop thinking about this girl, and I honestly can’t find any flaws within her. I know nobody’s perfect, but she definitely is the closest thing to perfect I could imagine. So, my question is how can I fall out of love? How can I bring myself to be happy for her and her new boyfriend?
2007-03-18 16:50:26 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh darn* i reeeeeeeally want to answer your question because trust me i know your situation,but i really am speechless at this point, I'm so sorry.
2007-03-18 16:54:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As terrible as this might seem, the only way is to cut off all contact with her. Since you have such deep feelings for her, friendship will only hurt you more right now. If she cares about you, she'll respect your need for time apart and understand why you two can't be friends for a while.
I have been through a similar situation with a very good friend and the only thing that is helping me move on has been to take a break from the friendship for a while. It doesn't mean that I've lost hope, but until the timing is right I don't want to risk falling any deeper in love.
It will be hard at first, but be patient. You're both young and have yet to realize how big the world really is outside of high school. You'll be surprised how quickly the time will pass, and if she's single in the future ask her out again, but don't wait around for her. Focus on your academics, your other friends, and make everything else in your life besides her a priority.
2007-03-19 00:09:23 · answer #2 · answered by HallamFoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is pretty well known that long distance relationships don't have much of a chance for the very reason of what happened to you. But I also know that you just can't turn your feelings on and off like a water spigot. Here is a thought though. I would be happy for her, but I would stay in touch with her too...as friends would. Since you have a car and you are only two hours away, if this boyfriend doesn't work out then you may be able to get back in the picture. I would not get my hopes up though. The bad side of this is if the new boyfriend gets wind of you staying in touch with her, then he may want no parts of that, at which time you may have to back down for her sake. Remember...like you said ...you want her to be happy and if you crowd her, she will never come back...so be cool. Now the other piece of this, is for you to not just hold a torch for this girl.......that will only frustrate you, so go out there and meet some other girls and kinda let life take you where it takes you. Life may end up putting you and this long distance girl together some day or life may introduce you to someone every bit as nice if not nicer than this long distance girl. You still need to live you life.......have her on the back burner for right now while beginning to explore new options for yourself.....Good Luck!
2007-03-19 00:05:19 · answer #3 · answered by chcman74 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to stop communicating with her and go out and do things that you enjoy so that you can meet someone else...we all get our hearts broken doesnt matter what age you are things happen but you are still young give yourself a little time to grieve then start dating again tell yourself she wasnt for you and there is someone better coming...I really cant tell you how to be happy for her and her new boyfriend just try and put her out of your mind.
2007-03-19 00:04:11 · answer #4 · answered by starr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about being happy for her and her new boyfriend. No ones asking you to be a martyr. The best thing to do is go out with some other girl(s). Go out with other girls both in groups and/or on dates.
2007-03-19 00:01:10 · answer #5 · answered by Diver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋