Whenever my partner does something that bothers me a bit, i can't find the confidence to talk about it. I feel like I might be pushy, or annoying, or needy. Should I be completely outspoken? I feel weak to admit that the other person has such influence on me. How should i handle this?
2007-03-18 16:36:17 · 13 answers · asked by Fastforward 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
beer if it's your wife or a female we're talking about. If it's the guy we're talking about, you should be able to talk sensibly
2007-03-18 16:38:50 · answer #1 · answered by Gay R 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Somewhere in your life, you were denied the experience of expressing your feelings safely. Never be afraid to broach a subject with someone you care about. Some people are more sensitive than others, and if this is your case, you'll know how to ease into it by saying, "honey, can we talk about something ?" Tell her you love her and want this relationship to work, and the best way to predict longevity is to put issues out there before they fester. She'll respect you for it, and will always feel safe doing the same. You are not needy - you just want to be honest. And she has "such influence" because you care. It's very simple.......always be true to yourself.
2007-03-18 23:45:24 · answer #2 · answered by janni 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have had this problem in the past. You have a feeling inside yourself like "I don't want to seem pushy". Problem is the longer you let a problem fester the worse the outcome will be.
If I have a problem, I find it is best to be removed from the situation. When you are not exposed to the thing that upset you, it is easier to be amicable. Eg: when you and your partner are alone, maybe in the car driving home from somewhere you can ask "Why did you do that?" and from there have a non-confrontational conversation...
I wish you well in sorting out the problems, good luck!
2007-03-18 23:44:04 · answer #3 · answered by l1vew1re 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I've had this problem before. Being able to talk about it only makes you stronger. I think you should think about how you want to bring up the fact that you are bothered but make sure you sound confident and make sure you aren't attacking the other person. The way I usually start out is saying "you know I've been thinking about it and a couple of days ago when you said/did (blank) it bothered me...". I like to think about things before I address them to others because sometimes I am very sensitive and I get upset really easy. Then I'm over it and I don't think its worth mentioning. Other times I think about it over and over and that is all I can think about and I almost can't wait to talk because I need some kind of resolution ASAP. In those situations I usually just talk about it right away. Anyway, just go with your gut, get things out in the open. Holding things in just makes you neurotic.
2007-03-18 23:46:18 · answer #4 · answered by BLANK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to address an issue with your significant other is to be cool, calm and collected.
Try not to push blame and keep the conversation light-hearted. If your mate really respects you, he/she will consider your complaints.
However, if you come across as sharp, rude and/or selfish, the, more than likely, you will be facing a shouting match.
You aren't being pushy if you are simply stating how you feel. Letting your mate know how you feel can help make your relationship stronger in the long run.
2007-03-18 23:43:59 · answer #5 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your behavior may stem from certain repressions from your childhood. However your current behavior is not healthy in the relationship. Communication and trust are important components for a healthy interaction. You may need to practice small actions in order to build up to a greater condifence level. Several sessions with a clinical social worker, psychologist or psychiatrist might not be a bad idea. As people we can often overcome these problems and go on to have much healthier (and thus) satisfying realtionships.
2007-03-18 23:41:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use discretion and be very tactful and watch out not to hurt feelings, it could be taken the wrong way. If you feel uncomfortable about speaking out you probably are right to let small things slide. Try to first find good things to say about your partner. Keep an open mind and find humor in the other person.
2007-03-18 23:46:20 · answer #7 · answered by hjhprov 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't be afraid to address your partner about what bothers you. if you let the problems go unfixed, it could just as easily ruin your relationship with your partner. just talk, it works. the only way it would sound pushy or annoying is if you talk about it constantly.
2007-03-18 23:41:48 · answer #8 · answered by st_gurl13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be comfortable enough in your relationship that you can talk about anything. If you don't feel that then you need to look at why you aren't comfortable. Are you afraid your partner won't like what you have to say and leave you? If that is the case then you need to be with someone else anyway. You should be able to talk about anything no matter what.
2007-03-18 23:41:15 · answer #9 · answered by cat12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, absolutely you need to let those opinions out ! That's part of communication. Nobody reads minds......so how will your partner know what's up , if you don't say ?
2007-03-18 23:42:23 · answer #10 · answered by Scorpius59 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you dont have a very open relationship to me. Let her know in a caring way if it bothers her to bad that how you fell. And she should care how you fell
2007-03-18 23:40:08 · answer #11 · answered by awbauman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋