what is a good gift for sister on the birthday of her deceased son?

Question

my sister lost her son to premature birth and his 1st birthday is coming up on 4/7 what is a good gift ? I want her to know we miss him to .

Answer 1

I wouldn't get her a gift. I understand you want to do something in memory. That is nice. I lost my preemie baby at three months old, and my friend made a memorial type display for her resting place one year, not for birthday though. Just around that difficult time.

My friend is the best b/c no matter what or when she is there to let me vent, cry, shout, or ignore. She also gets me little angel somethings, I am christian. Nobody else I know has done anything since the loss except my mom in law. She gets me rememberance jewelry whenever. But not for birthday.

I always donate my money for any sick kids charity, legit of course. And childrens hospitals do have programs of all sorts.

If you want to do something just be there.

The plant thing is a nice idea though. Once I own my own place I am going to plant a tree as something to care about and nurture, sort of a redirect.

Answer 2

I am so sorry for your family's loss....I'm not sure where you live but here where I am the Children's hospital (or maybe the hospital where he was born) has a program where you can purchase something in someone's honor-such as brick that is placed in the front walk of the hospital or a plaque on the wall of the NICU,etc....Also, if your hospital doesn't have any such thing you might consider making a donation in the childs name to a fitting charity. My cousins child passed away at a young age & every year we make a donation in his name to the children's hospital that cared for him while he was alive & they send a card with that information in it to the family. Hope that helps!

Answer 3

I am sorry about your loss but I have to disagree.

I don't agree with celbrating a birthday in this manner. This child died shortly after birth. So it was a life, and it was born, but did not have a chance to live.

I would be with your sister on this so-called birthday to help her through the rough time i'm sure she is going through. Its really a terrible loss and I feel for her.

But to get technical, we only celebrate birthdays for people who are living. If they aren't living, there is nothing to celebrate. And I mean, the only time we celebrate the birthdays of people that have passed are for ex-presidents of the USA. And their birthday is not to reflect their life completely, but to remember what they have accomplished. This child did not accomplish anything. It could of, but it didn't.

Also, who would the gift be for? Most of the time, people give items to the parents on a child's 1st birthday. These items are always something FOR the child. The child cannot use anything because the child is no longer alive. So a crib or savings bond is out of the question.

It is abundantly clear that there is no birthday to celebrate.

On another note though. If your sister wants to relive this tradgedy on her deceased child's birthday because she has not yet healed and this is her request, she has every right to and I do not fault her for wanting that. But what she needs is the people she chooses to be close to be there at her side for support on that day. Maybe take her out to dinner or do something nice for her.

But no cards, no gifts, no cake. The child has passed. There is nothing to celebrate and I only hope in time, your sister gets the support she needs to move on and understand that things happen and its not her fault. God Bless.

Answer 4

I really don't think that is appropriate. Support and a shoulder to cry on if that's what she needs. Give her words of encouragement and let her know that you mourn with her. Take her to lunch and try to relax and confide in one another. That's the best gift you could give.

Answer 5

If I gave her anything it would be something to honor the baby, maybe a poem or something more sentimental. She is your sister, if she has coped well try that, if she is still struggling, a hug.

If you do feel compelled to something but think a physical item would be painful for her, use the money you would have spent and donate it to The March of Dimes (charity that researches premature birth in order to hopefully better prevent and treat it) in her sons' name. Just get a certificate, or make your own,and give it to her.

Answer 6

Take her out to dinner and to a movie. I don't think I'd actually give her a wrapped gift. That might be too painful for her to bear. But it is nice of you to want to support her through such a difficult day.

Answer 7

Yesterday was the 6th anniversary of my son's birth and death. I appreciate my dear friends and relatives who remember one of the darkest days of my life.....but I don't expect or even want gifts....

Some flowers since it is the first anniversary, and from then on just remembering will mean more to her than anything. For me, I just appreciate opening my e-mail and seeing e-mails from friends and family saying we are thinking of you today....

Answer 8

If I had lost my son I wouldn't be celebrating his birthday.

I think you should just be there if she calls and wants to talk. Please don't get her a gift, I think loss is difficult enough without someone bringing it up when you really don't want to think about it.

Answer 9

A Bouquet ofFlowers with a Toy in them for the sons grave,Chat and a Big Hug for your Sister.

Answer 10

I would send her a card or a thoughtful note so she will know others remembered. I don't think a gift would be appropriate. If you live nearby a visit might be appreciated to help her by talking about it but also having a welcomed distraction as well.