My family and friends do NOT approve.....?

Question

Hi! I am 20 years old and my boyfriend is 25. We've been best friends for a year and we have been dating seriously for a little over a month. He is the most amazing person to me, and we spend almost every day together. The only problem? He moved to the US from Mexico and doesn't speak English. I speak Spanish and English so we can communicate. The only thing is my family and friends can't communicate with him and they do not like him with me at all. They throw a fit every time I go out with him, and they like to play 20 questions every time. My friends are always very rude to him and my family doesn't like that he has a child and that he doesn't speak English. I understand that these are huge factors, but I love him with all my heart. I am lost and miserable without him and they act like it's no big deal if I just stopped seeing him. He always treats me really well, respects my decision to wait fpr sex, yet they still despise him. They try to make me feel guilty.

I told them that I can't stop loving him even if there are a lot of obstacles. They told me they are disappointed in me and that just crushes me. He makes me so happy and I can't imagine being without him. What should I do? I've already tried talking to my family, they have already told me, they will NOT ever accept him as anything more than my friend. :(

Thanks for any advice.

Answer 1

who is more important, your family and friends or him? take your pick....

Answer 2

I'm gonna be very blunt here. It's your life hun, not your family's or your friend's. Yours. IF you like this guy then you can just tell your family and friends that if they don't like him, that's too damn bad. He makes you happy, you make him happy, and that's all that matters.

I hate to say this but sometimes, ppl can be that way. They can be VERY rude at times. I know. My g/f and I have been together since September. Yeah, she lives in MO and I'm in Texas, but we are VERY much lin love with one another. So what if she's no beauty queen by other ppl's standards. I could care less. I find her beautiful. She makes me happy as hell. I'm currently goign through a divorce @ 27 (wife's 21 hehe. married her when she was 19. yeah i know...i'm a craddle robber lol), and she gave me the strength that I needed to go through with this tough and long process. I do have some disabilities but she sees right past them, which means the world to me. I have never been this happy, not even with my wife.

If this man makes you happy, then stay with him. He sounds like a great guy. So what if he doesn't speak english? You two can converse, and that's what's important. I wish you two the best of luck in the future. If you ever need some love songs, just let me know ;-) I have 3 cd's of them. hehe pays to be a DJ :-D

Answer 3

If u love someone, u shouldn't feel guilty. Ur old enough to make ur own decisions and ur family have no right to be rude to ur boyfriend. They r either very prejudiced or they r jealous that u have found someone to love.
U need to stand up for what u think and feel, tell ur family and friends (incidently, they can't be very good friends if they put u down, can they?) that it's ur business and not theirs.
Stand up for urself, darl.
Make a statement!
Just a thought. U could teach him to speak English, then maybe ur friends and family would be able to comunicate with him too. Think about it.

Answer 4

sounds like your family has serious racism problems - that's really sad, they can't even be happy that you've found a good man to love, who obviously respects you...
I guess you'll have to confront your family, tell them that they should try to learn some spanish so they won't be left out of conversations and be able to communicate with him, and will know what their grandchildren are saying - I assume your love is working on english too, maybe you could suggest that they try to teach each other, with your help?... hopefully if they can talk to him, they will come to see why you love him.

I guess if they are going to be that pig-headed not to accept him, they don't deserve to have you in their lives. It's really sad that they would do that to you, but I guess it was their choice, just leave the door open in case they should ever come to their senses...
Good luck!

Answer 5

Follow your heart. My female cousin married a man from Ecuador 10 years ago. I remember everyone in my family thinking that he was stupid just because he could not speak English although he was an educated person with a college degree from his native country. They are still married today with a lovely daughter. Sometimes you just have to go with your heart. After all, it isn't your family that is going to be with this person for the rest of your life, in fact maybe your family is just prejudice. I wish you luck.

Answer 6

If you love him and he loves you follow your heart. Let your family know that you understand how they feel and that it's your life and you have to live it for yourself and not for them. It seems your family doesn't think he is good enough. Just tell them that he makes you happy, you love him and he respect you. Tell them that if that is not enough reason for him to like him then they need to keep their opinions to themselves. Your family may seem that way toward him because he is spanish..it's horrible..this will cause problems in your life but if you two love and respect each other you should be able to work through it..good luck..if u need to talk u can email me at [e-mail]...hope that helps

Answer 7

Who is dating him... you or your family? You are, so really you are the only who needs to approve. If he's a good person, they will find that out in time. If he wishes to try and make a good impression on them, he can be patient, and maybe learn to speak enough english to carry on a conversation with them. It would be respectful of him.

Answer 8

You should be open about your feelings to your friends and family. Sit down with them and let them know that he makes you happy. THAT shoud be reason enough for them to shut their mouths. Explain that it hurts you when they make fun of him and don't approve. Explain that you respect the fact that he may never be their favorite person, but that you love him. Ultimately, this is YOUR life. Live it! Tell them that their opinion matters to you...but YOU are the one dating him and completely happy.

Once they get how much this is tearing you up inside, they are bound to stop.

Best of Karma!!!

(I don't believe in luck, so I'm counting on you being a good person and karma helping you out with this!)

Answer 9

Your family evidently has some issues regarding hispanic-americans or foreigners in general. If you are happy with this man, who are they to stop you? You are 20 years old & old enough to make your own decisions. Rise above the racism, but know in this kind of relationship you are going to face disapproval from both sides.

Answer 10

You are an adult, and you can make your own decisions now. In time your family may accept him if they actually get a chance to see how happy he makes you. If you are having doubts because your family does not accept then you need to sit down and re-think what you really want.

Answer 11

Stay with him if he is what makes you happy. Sometimes family and friends are just thinking about themselves and what they think and not about you. Tell them you are going to stya with him and that they can either respect your deicison or not it is up to them but it is your life! If this is a great relationship dont let them ruin it..you will regret it forever. Good luck!