I'm 23,,Theres this older guy who lives in my building. Hes a photographer jus for his own hobby not professional, hes very friendly and i always thought him to be nice. He told me hes taken photos of models, becausei told him ive done some modeling, so he said he would take pics of me. I just said Im so busy. I feel too weird having him take pics- hes not professional.. and what if somethign weird happend..Then another day he told me he can take photos of some of my artwork and he gave me his card with his website on it. I didnt know what to say so i said ill email you..Well i checked it out and his website and work was awful. I was kinda freaked out..I didn't email him because I felt uncomfortable. I told my Mom about this and she told me not too get involved with him.. I kinda feel bad though, i feel weird seeing him. I want to avoid him now..
Was he hitting on me? did i do the right thing or was i kinda rude to him?
2007-03-18 16:14:04 · 12 answers · asked by tbo 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
its ok to be rude - he is married
2007-03-18 16:22:28 · answer #1 · answered by worldstiti 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
# 1: Married - Stay away, it would only end badly for you
# 2: Your gut told you all you need to know. You're uncomfortable for a reason. Stop conversing - rather - if you end up cornered into a conversation, tell him that you have no desire to befriend a married guy. That's it. Simple.
You shouldn't have talked about modeling, he probably took that as an opening. And about the photos - You should have replied not that you are too busy, but that you don't need any photos, nor a photographer for any other jobs. Why do you feel you have to be nice to someone that you don't even know, who makes you uncomfortable?
STAY AWAY
2007-03-18 16:27:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does sound a bit shady to me. I could be wrong...he cld be sincere just looking to practice & gain more experience. But eitherways, he is married, and I feel you shd be cautious. I have been hit on by married men, so I should tell you that it is reality. This happens. You dont have to be rude to him (I believe he has shown respect to you until now) but you can be firm and not encourage him. U can wish him back hi when he says hi, no harm in being polite, but just do not encourage him by talking to him etc. If you are forced in that sitation, I would just make some excuse and exit. Regd photography, just tell him you changed your mind and don't think you'd be able to take it up with him. If he persists, keep saying no. I hope it doesn't go farther than this and he backs off. I hope that u are living with someone, and not alone.
2007-03-18 17:28:25 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You weren't being rude. Married men don't befriend 23 yo women especially if they aren't already friends with their wife. And even then they usually shouldn't hang out. Thats just like put'n a steak in front of a dog. now there is a good chance that he wasn't hitting on you and this was all innocent. So i say if you want him to take pictures of your work sometime go ahead, but afterwards be distant and closed off or he might mistake the situation as something its not, that is if he was flirting with you.
Also now that i thought about it...if you have been blowing this guy off and he still talks to you he deff is interested in you. If that were me and i wasn't flirting with you i would take it personally that you were blowing me off and wouldn't want to talk to you. He probably realizes that you are being distant because of his flirting...which most guys wouldn't take personally.
2007-03-18 16:39:01 · answer #4 · answered by Mark B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy is married and he was hitting on you, he is not a professional , otherwise he would charge you for taking the pictures, he is a perv. and you should avoid him but if he approaches you again tell him to back off you're not interested if he is persistent speak with his wife.
2007-03-18 19:12:52 · answer #5 · answered by Angelz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have instincts for a reason...
Go to the library or bookstore asap and get this book by Gavin DeBecker it's called "The Gift of Fear." I have given it to a good friend of mine and my daughter. Seriously, in today's world you really are responsible for looking out for your well being.
http://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Gavin-Becker/dp/0440226198
Most women get themselves into serious situations by ignoring their own intuitive signals.
Never be afraid to be "rude," since your self-protection is paramount. Also, don't ever open your door to a person you don't trust - ever. Also, don't approach a man you don't know well to "help" him carry a box, or anything of that nature. Certain people take advantage of "nice women," in the hopes they can ultimately victimize them. Paranoid, no, just a reality of living in today's world. Safety comes first.
2007-03-18 16:57:34 · answer #6 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh come on.
You are 23 and adult enough to know when a chap is hitting on you ? No? Then you are very silly indeedy.
Move ON, lots of tasty single men out there.
2007-03-18 20:12:24 · answer #7 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him you are not interested on posing for him, you do not need to explain why. Steer clear of him. Even if he was not hitting on you, he makes you feel uncomfortable, so just do what makes you feel OK and avoid him.
2007-03-19 01:38:58 · answer #8 · answered by Angela C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he's married, associate with him when his wife is present.
As far as doing business with him, don't. If he's a bad photographer, why should you.
2007-03-18 16:22:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU DID THE WRIGHT THINK HE IS MARRIED AND JST WANTS YOU OR ANYOTHER WOMEN ON THE SIDE FORGT HIM SWEET 23 AAND SO BEAUTIFUL U CAN HAVE ANYMAN U LIKE
2007-03-22 14:44:54 · answer #10 · answered by greek12b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are perverts by nature! The older they get the more disturbed they get! Stay away from all men!
2007-03-18 16:19:07 · answer #11 · answered by sandra b 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋