My mom was in a bad accident on Thursday. A woman in front of her caused an accident w/another car. She got out and started running back and forth across the road. All the wittness' say they have no idea what she was doing when she caused the accident and why she was going across the road back and forth. She ran right out in front of my mom and she hit her. The woman is in critical condition. All the witness' and the State Police,newspapers,news, all keep telling my mom, there is nothing you could have done to prevent this. It was not your fault. But of course she still feels bad cuz she hit her whether it was her fault or not. She is very close to a nervous break down. She is having bad panic attacks,cries and feels like she is going outta her mind. My family all say it's time she get over it! It wasn't her fault and she needs to move on. I think thats terrible! It's only been 4 days. Do you think they are being insensitive? Or is it me?
2007-03-18 16:10:19 · 27 answers · asked by same girl/new name :) 5 in Health ➔ Mental Health
No you are not insensitive.. they are!... others telling your mom to "get over it" has more to do with them than your mom.. She has a loving heart and spirit, that she feels such "remorse of heart thinking she even in causing any kind of harm or pain to another".. Even if not her fault.. Unfortunately , bad things happen.. and the most difficult to deal with are the ones that seem to have no reason or understanding of why....
sometimes there is no answer.. i recommend that your mom see someone who deals with trauma disorders..and, from the sound of it quickly! because she has suffered a trauma. She may be concerned that if the person doesn't make it she may be accountable, if not legally , she may feel morally , spiritually. that can put a person like her possibly in deep depression understandably..And, it isn't until she feels the pain and what she feels is lifted inside, not others will she be settled , not the "get over it" attitude. .. She is so lucky to have a child as you looking after her concerns now. it says a lot about who she really is in how she taught you to care for her. as i am sure you do others. Keep doing the good for her, she needs someone by her now to give her strength, not to lean on , but for her to find her own inner strengths she already has , but yet may not know she has.. Life has "tests' in it at times.. unfortunately they do come.. but, she will be ok..
i would try to keep the negative , insensitive people away from her right now. It isn't her fault.. she was told that by those in authority.. you may want to remind her they said so too! God be with you... my prayers sent your moms way and yours...
2007-03-18 17:33:27 · answer #1 · answered by miladyfaire 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like people are becoming more calous as each day goes by in this world. She can hit this women be over it in 4-days. My God there must be something wrong with me too then. I hit a squirrel the only thing I've ever struck inmy life Thank God- and cried all the way home. I pray your Mom has been checked out throughly and I hope the other woman makes it.If she doesn't then this will absolutely devastate your Mother. She needs all the Positive Support right now possible. Keep these Careless Lunatics away from her- and do not allow anyone to discourage her by negative comments. Keep the Negative ones away if possible. I had a a very dear friend who hit a 16-year old girl with his dump truck,and he tried everything in the world to miss her,but they said it couldn't be helped. He had Church Support-Family Support-Freinds- he even became very good freinds with her parents, but he said that will never be erased from his memory unless he goes crazy and forgets it. He is a strong, but sensitive, caring young man, he hurt really bad for over a year or more, he was different and I think today it has still left something there that wasn't in him before-Possibly a more distinct realitiy of our mortality and how important life is. It's going to take time.She sounds like a normal ,caring, sensitive woman,and I pray that she can get back to her life as soon a possible, but this is going to take time. I pray for this other woman also,I pray for you too that God will guide you in the proper manner, and you will know exactly when to seek a PHYSICIAN if she is starting to get even worse, not eat, or just completly showing signs of giving up-Get her the proper help fast- God Bless you and I pray you can be her strength until she can make it on her own-She Need PositiveSupport!! God Bless You Friend!!
2007-03-19 01:06:48 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IM so sorry to hear about that. I always get worried someone is going to jump in front of my car, and I just dont know what I would do. I think that she needs her time. It probably will be a while before she is comfortable again with day to day driving. They are being very very insensitive. It isnt her fault in the least, but it is still life changing! Your family should support her, and not act like it isnt a big deal, they should put themselves in her shoes! Good luck and I hope she gets well soon!
2007-03-18 23:15:24 · answer #3 · answered by Bl3ss3dw1thL1f3 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure the rest of your family doesn't mean to be insensitive, they're trying to help. I think it's not knowing exactly what to say that makes people say what can come across as insensitive remarks. I can't even imagine what your mom must be going through. I think the best thing to do is just be a good listener if and when your mom wants to talk.
2007-03-18 23:16:57 · answer #4 · answered by Missy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That was a very traumatic event for your mother.Anyone expecting her to get over this anytime soon,are being extremely insensitive.Of course this was an accident,and not your mother's fault,but she still feels quilty because she hurt the woman.She may get through this with the help of counseling,and she may never get through this.Everyone is different concerning healing times.They say that time heals all things,but that is'nt true.Your mother really needs to talk about this to a professional.It could be a counselor,a minister or someone who deals with post traumatic stress.I wish her well.
2007-03-18 23:31:20 · answer #5 · answered by little loved one 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mother has been severly traumatized. She will recover if people will just back off and be supportive. It helps to let her talk, and talk, and talk. Just listen, without judgment. It takes a lot of time to move on. She'll go through waves of emotions, which is natural, and those waves will lower in intensity over time. Next year she'll probably have another wave of some kind - an anniversary reaction - so be prepared for that. It's normal.
It's insane to think she could move past something this intense in only 4 days! Obviously, life means a lot to your mother, so give her as much time as she needs to move beyond this tragedy.
2007-03-18 23:31:35 · answer #6 · answered by Dr. D. Star Reader 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They are being insensitive i cant even imagine what your mom is going threw your mom should go talk to a doctor or some one about it i know if i hit someone my fault or not i would be a mess for a long time
2007-03-18 23:22:17 · answer #7 · answered by BIZGIG 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like Post Tramautic Stress Disorder. Your mother witnessed a very tragic event and although it seems like no big deal to some people, they did not experience it the way she did. Hopefully she'll recover from it shortly, just give her a little time and do not force her to "get over it" because she cannot magically do so. If her behaviour persists, then take her to a clinical psychologist. She's not crazy or anything and this is a very normal reaction to an event like this.
Wish you and your mother the best!!!
2007-03-18 23:16:58 · answer #8 · answered by monkeymadness878 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Four days? Your Mom is still in shock. Give her time, love and your support. She may need professional help to get thru this shock. Watch her, severe depression after something like this is normal. She may be on an emotional roller coaster. It may not be her fault but the nightmare may haunt her the rest of her life. Be gentile with her.
2007-03-18 23:16:05 · answer #9 · answered by whitehairblueeyes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when a person causes a death or near death of another person (whether it was accidental or not), there will always be great feelings of guilt. This is something that is definately going to require lots of tender love and care ... and probably counceling.
Prayer is also a good thing. Taking your mom to church (if she doesn't already go) & just praying with her will be beneficial.
People who are insensitive to her have probably never struck a pedestrian with their car before.
Good luck
2007-03-18 23:15:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋