My mom doesn't approve!!?

Question

My mom doesn't approve of the guy I've been with for 2 years!! What do I do about it?? I want her to like him but she won't!! He's not allowed in my house... she doesn't want to be anywhere near him!! What do i do about it??

Answer 1

Just try talking to her and letting her know how you feel about him.

Keep in mind, he is the one you have to love, and she should be happy that you are happy. She doesn't have to love him for you to love him. I know that sucks, but that's the case.

Whatever you do, though, do not blow up in your mom's face and tell her you love him no matter what etc. Try to speak to her calmly and just let her know that you respect her opinion, but that you also really care for your guy. In this way, maybe she'll realize that she should be happy for you.

Answer 2

well, if your close with your mom and you dont want to lie to her then you have to be straight forward and honest with her. second it depends what kind of a girl you are. if you are a strong independent and cool person and you go up to your mom and start bawling your eyes out shes going to either punish you for acting like a child or assume that hes changed you or put you up to it and thats going to make her hate him even more. some mothers are just stubborn. i have been told that sometimes when the guy tries to talk to the mother and apologize for everything. even if hes right, he takes the blame, it atleast shows he has a spine and initiative.

but heres the hard part. what would he say? would he say that you are the most beautiful girl in the world and that he loves you? your mom may think hes a stalker and call the police. and if he says that he doesnt really care about you and that its just casual then he doesnt respect you enough or see how much your worth. your mother will translate that to "its just sex" and again, hate him more.

your third option is the hardest. wait. both of you date other people and try to remain close and eventaully your mother wont be able to stop you. i wouldnt advise it though, from experience i say nip it in the bud. get your mom to change her mind now.

Answer 3

For two years, your life must have been and still is miserable.

Voice of experience, as a mother, try to understand her and keep an open line of communication. As you get older, you as a daughter, and she as a mother become a very important friendship. You may not think so now,but I have a 40yr old son who doesn't associate and hasn't for two years cause he thought he knew everything. Remember, what goes around comes around.

I don't know how old you are, but there are more fish in the sea than the one you caught. Look at it closely and be sure you are willing to lose your family over a relationship. IS IT WORTH IT?!!

Answer 4

Have u tried asking her why she doesn't approve of or like him? That would be a good place to start & go from there. Moms have been around a lot longer than u, & have insights that u won't develope for several yrs. Ask her, u might be surprised @ what she has to offer. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Whoa! Some big issues here it seems. You've been with this guy for 2 years so obviously this is someone you care about deeply. Why doesn't your mom like him do you think? I don't think I have enough information to truly answer your question. I don't know if she's got a bias cause he's different (e.g. religion, cultural background). If that's the case sometimes, that can be so deep rooted that it's very hard to change an individuals mind. I do feel that you need have a very serious discussion with your mom. You need to discover why she's not willing to meet you halfway for someone who's obviously important to you. If she still refuses to accept it, and this is someone very important to you (i.e. future hubby) than you need to think about whether you'll let your mother determine if you'll stay with this person, even if it makes her mad. My admiration to your boyfriend though for sticking with you. It's very hard to be with someone who's parent is steadfast against them. You must be pretty special to him for him to be so strong in such a difficult situation.

Answer 6

See him outside the house,but listen to me if mom don't like him,it's got to be a reasson why.Sometimes we don't see or can't see what our parent's see at the time but when we get older it makes a whole lot of sense.I remember my my mom telling me certain things when I was comming up and I did'nt want to hear it because the person was cool or whatever and I enjoyed hanging out with them,well now that I'm 31 I wish I would have taken her advice on some of he things she was trying to tell me about.Like I said maybe mom can see something that you can't right now.Mother's have a tendancy of having something called a pretty good judge of character.

Answer 7

Do you think your mom hate you? Do you not trust your trust your mom? Is your mom the same as age you are? Has you mom not had experience that you have yet to have?Does you mom have pleasure in seeing you suffer? Is you mom an evil person?Does your mom not want the best for you?
Then why do you not want to at least consider that she has a valid point since she has known you all your life over someone who has known you for a few years?

Answer 8

I have been in a realtionship for almost 5 years and now we are married. My parents didn't approve then and still don't. Having said that, you can't always change your parents minds BUT as long as you are living with them then you have to respect that they don't want him in their house. I don't know how old you are, but if you are an adult, then you may be best trying to move out and do your own thing. Once you are self sufficient, then they can't really say anything. :)

Answer 9

Sit down with her and calmly ask her what are her reasons for not liking him. If or when she does tell you her reasons and you don't like what she is telling you, don't lose your temper or get mad at her, just tell her that you want some time to think about what she has said. If you think her answers were important enough to investigate them, then do so. Then act upon whatever your investigation outcome is. If it is just a personality clash between her and your guy then the only thing you can do is keep them apart or find yourself another guy, cause you can't get another mother.

Answer 10

Parents never think anyone is good enough for their kids, Im 44 and my mum still wouldn't approve of any girl I went out with, then again my son is 5 years old and I dont think anyone will be good enough for him. It's a fact of life so do what is right for you.