i really need to laugh. jokes, sleepwalking stories, weird dreams, anything!?

Question

i am so bored. i love to laugh at things like the aforementioned. is that a word?

Answer 1

Check out the joke I posted

Answer 2

My son was a sleepwalker when he was little. I was sitting watching TV one night when he came tearing out of his bedroom. His eyes were big and he looked around the room until they found this big corn plant that I had as a houseplant in a big pot.
He ran over to it and was looking down into the dirt. I said, "Tom, what are you doing?"
He looks at me and said, "The girls went down there!!".
"What are you talking about?"
"The girls went down there and I'm gonna go get them, mama".
He started taking some dirt out and throwing it around.
"Tanya!! Tamara!!, I'm coming to get you!!!".

I went over and led him back to bed, but he kept wanting to go back to the plant. He thought his sister's went down into the dirt of the plant...........

...............................................................................

Another time my ex and I were going to bed and were just falling asleep when we heard footsteps coming down the hall. Then there was a light knock on the door - tap, tap, tap.
Now somehow Tom must have somehow have heard what we said and his actions must have went along with it. Here was our conversation.

Him: I thought the kids were sleeping?
Me: Well, who else could it be?
Him: It's probably some retard.

And wouldn't you know it. I opened the door and there stood Tom with his right arm hitting his chest and a stupid goofy look on his face almost drooling.
I still laugh at that one.

If your really bored you should check out the 360 world.

Answer 3

My allergy nurse told me this story when she gave me an epipen. That's a self-injection medication for severe, life-threatening allergic reactions. Her aunt had a severe food allergy. One night she had a reaction, passed out, and her husband had to give her a shot with the epipen. He was so frantic, he picked up the phone, dialed 911, and yelled "I shot my wife! I shot my wife!" and then hung up. He not only got the ambulance, but a police escort as well.

Answer 4

One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church.
Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving... seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

Answer 5

Okay this blond walks into the library and says to the libraian ''YEAH I'D LIKE A SOFT DRINK, A LARGE FRY, AND A HAMBURGER!''. The libraian says ''Sorry mam' this is a library.''. The blond looks a round and says ''Ohh.I'd like a soft drink, large fry, and a hamburger."

Answer 6

Okay, my mom's a speech therapist. One of the kids she used to work with would always use the "T" sound instead of the "K" sound. And when that kid was in Walmart, he saw a book with a cat on it and out loud he said, "Look Mommy, It's a ______!"
(Instead of kitty)

Answer 7

I have 1 for you:
2 blondes are walking down the street
1 notices a compact on the sidewalk and picks it up
She opens it, looks in the mirror, and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar!"
The 2nd blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second 1 looks into the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

Answer 8

A little girl notices her mom is getting a few white hairs and asks why that happens.

"Well," explains her mother, "every time you do something bad or upset me, it makes one of my hairs turn white."

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Why are ALL of Grandma's hairs white?"

Answer 9

My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

Answer 10

Look at my Avatar.

<---------

:(

And this fruitcake's:

http://malaysia.answers.yahoo.com/my/profile;_ylt=AlU_jtGkWwGBlzDHWWesCSN.axV.?show=9K9RTspWaa