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ive been sexually active since december with the same guy. i lost my virginity to him. we have no problem when it comes to trying new positions! everytime we have sex i just cant seem to reach an orgasm! it really sucks! only twice have i felt one coming but we were too rough and he slipped out! :-{ i also dont get "wet". does that have something to do with it? the sex feels good but it gets to the point where i tell him to just finish up and i fake it. is there any orgasm-inhansing gel or lube i can buy?

2007-03-18 14:35:49 · 11 answers · asked by Time is of the Essence 3 in Health Other - Health

i am able to reach orgasm by masturbation

2007-03-18 14:55:11 · update #1

11 answers

OK. Guess this one needs to get a bit explicit, so forgive me.

You need to learn to masturbate yourself to orgasm first. Believe me, it isn't always easy, but eventually you will "make it", and when you do, a whole new world will open up.

Secondly, once you have achieved orgasm by masturbation, you need to tell your boyfriend exactly how you did it, so that he can stimulate you the same way during sex. May take a few tries, but you will eventually "make it" that way, too.

Remember, practice makes perfect, so even if you aren't messing with him, you can mess with yourself. OH, and in case you wondered.........no, you won't go blind, or grow hair on your palms, either. I know, sounds ridiculous, but it's amazing how many people out there STILL believe that tripe.

As for the lubrication issue, I would recommend WET or Astro-Glide. They are water based, and have good lasting power. Don't use much tho, or you will tend to lose sensation altogether.......it will just be too wet, if you understand.

2007-03-18 14:41:38 · answer #1 · answered by Critter Lady 4 · 4 0

There is no magical way to get a female organism. If there was boy would that person be rich. Lubricants can help, but as a young person if you are sufficiently aroused you should have more then enough natural lubricant. If I was you I would talk to you boyfriend; let him know when your close so he can continue what is he is doing. The more foreplay a girl has the more natural lubrication that occurs focus more on that and you will defiantly enjoy sex more. Most importantly it is important to remember that many women don't have orgasms till there late twenties in some cases some women never have a orgasm. So don't put to much pressure on yourself. You will never have a organism if you are thinking about it the whole time your having sex. Also you will know when you have had one, if your not sure chances are you haven;t had one.

2007-03-18 14:44:16 · answer #2 · answered by bella0104baby 2 · 2 1

Honey, it takes a while...sometimes a long while...But it is normal, don't worry. One day, almost out of the blue, you'll start feeling everything. Trust me. You can of course, only as a precaution go to the ginecologist, have a check up telling them you haven't reached an orgasmus with intercourse yet. They'll see if there is anything that can be blocking the process in some way, just to be sure, but most of the time there is nothing wrong. It is just part of the natural process in the adapting of the body.

2007-03-18 18:27:30 · answer #3 · answered by olmega 2 · 0 0

I so feel for you! I'm in the same situation, but have been with the same (and only guy ever) for 1 1/2 years! I can count on one hand how many times I've orgasmed! I love my bf to death so I would never get rid of him just because of sex.
One thing we are working on and I recommend to you is COMMUNICATON! Let him know what gets you going, let him know what feels good! Over 50% of women have trouble orgasming during sex (learned that from "Talk Sex with Sue Johanson"). Maybe try stimulating your clit during intercourse or use some techniques you use when your alone (masturbation) with him. Don't fake it though, because it will never get better then!

2007-03-18 14:47:01 · answer #4 · answered by melissamarie728 3 · 0 1

Some women have a hard time orgasiming, it took me a long time (years).
Some suggestions are: use a good quality lubricant (try a pleasure party or www.pureromance.com) or a clitoral stimulator. NEVER use Vaseline, it will hold germs.....
Try www.Xandria.com, they have good lubes and clitoral stimulating creams.
Also, if you use a vibrator on your own, and get your body used to orgasming, you will have more luck with your man.
Try extended foreplay (sucking of nipples, etc), candle wax, adult movies, adult toys, etc.
Get the Kama Sutra for Beginners book.........
The one guaranteed position that I get an orgasm from is me on top, facing my man, with nipple clamps applied and being tugged on.

2007-03-18 14:46:41 · answer #5 · answered by Avon Lady 4 · 2 0

The first thing you need to do is realize that many many women do NOT orgasm with intercourse. Second you have to explore your own body to know what feels good to you and what makes YOU orgasm so you can show or tell your partner what makes you orgasm. Also if you don't orgasm faking it is not the answer. You need to tell your partner then it is his responsibility to finish you off either manually or orally until you do orgasm.

2007-03-18 14:39:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2 2

foreplay he needs to lick your clit or finger you massage your clit or massage your G spot.He can lick your nipples with his tongue , massage your breast suck on your nipples caress your body, kiss your entire body from head to toe. etc.... If you are having sex right away without foreplay you will have a problem having an orgasm.

2007-03-21 09:34:00 · answer #7 · answered by ♫Rock'n'Rob♫ 6 · 0 0

There is all sorts of stuff you can do! Romance is great to start out with knowing what lies at the end!
I don't know how far you guys (or let him) go in bed but it is possible.

2007-03-18 14:42:40 · answer #8 · answered by Derek B 4 · 0 2

sex isn't all just "sticking it in", you probably have to work on the forplay for a while. and yes there are lubes that'll do the trick if you still can't get wet. try ky jelly.

2007-03-18 14:39:58 · answer #9 · answered by just curious (A.A.A.A.) 5 · 1 3

Sweetie, 2 words......SLOW DOWN.....make him take his time. Don't let him in right away.....seriously....JUST SLOW DOWN. You'll get wet, and you'll get your O......

2007-03-18 14:40:59 · answer #10 · answered by barefoot_yank 4 · 2 2

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