My closest cousin was supposed to get married in Feb. but her fiance called it off. I got engaged in early Feb and asked my cousin to be a bridesmaid in my wedding (at the time her wedding was still on) which is in June. She said she would, but since her wedding got called off she has been distant. Should I see if she still wants to be my bridesmaid or should I just let it go? I don't want to upset her.
2007-03-18 14:29:30 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I would ask her, without a doubt. I'm watching a similar situation on the outside but with two friends. Trust me, you don't want to go thru it until your day..
I've also been the one given the option twice to not be a bridesmaid, for financial reasons.. and honestly I appreciated my friends honestly by addressing me with the option, with them saying I would understand and not be hurt if you didn't can't do it. You are considering her feelings, you are taking into consideration it might not be the easiest thing for her to do. At first it might upset her, when i was given the option i didn't know how to take it, but if you are completely honest with her, and don't have it come from other people. She can't be upset, she might appreciate you are planning your day yet you are thinking of someone else.
Another suggestion, try reaching out to her, and asking her for help with things, that's what my friend is doing with her cousin. She might just need a friend.
2007-03-18 17:54:54 · answer #1 · answered by mdbdter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When is your wedding? If you have time, I'd give her a couple months to get over her own tragedy before talking to her about weddings. At least 3 months if you have the time. Come summer I'm sure she will be much more responsive.
Now if your wedding is going to be this summer and you can't really wait then yeah I'd go ahead and verify with her but keep her out of the wedding planning. She wants to be there for you and support you on your day but definitely doesn't want to hear about it.
But as you just got engaged, if you have the time to wait I'd give her a couple months out of respect for her.
2007-03-18 21:35:12 · answer #2 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Of course, ask her. Make it clear that the choice is hers, and be understanding if she is upset (of course she is, but more likely about the cancellation of her own wedding, not being a bridesmaid at yours). Think of it this way: Don't you risk upsetting her MORE if you assume she's not going to be bridesmaid, and you pick other friends, and it turns out she still wants to be?
2007-03-18 22:00:39 · answer #3 · answered by Wise Advice 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just explain to her in a face to face that you are concerned with how she feels and want to know if she wants to still be in your wedding. tell her that the choice is up to her and no matter what you will be there for her and support her no matter what she decides. maybe instead you could have her read or something in the wedding if she doesn't want to be a bridesmaid.
2007-03-18 22:21:02 · answer #4 · answered by cowgirlclub 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let it go ask her. Until she tells you no then back off. Talk to her and ask her if having her in the wedding will upset her due to her wedding being call off. Let her know how much it mean to have her in your wedding.
Hope this help.
2007-03-18 21:38:36 · answer #5 · answered by snicker4274 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would wait a month or so before asking her again if you can wait a bit. Give her some time to get over what she's dealing with right now.
2007-03-19 08:37:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely still ask her but I would tell her you would be honored if she was in your wedding but tell her you will understand if she doesnt want to be in the wedding, just so you have time to get someone else
2007-03-18 21:50:29 · answer #7 · answered by shelly63795 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask her, and let her know that you wont be offended if she doesnt want to participate anymore. It is probably a bit hard, but giving her the option is the nicest thing to do
2007-03-18 21:51:50 · answer #8 · answered by Suzieq 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask her. She did make a commitment to you, regardless of what happened with her own engagement. She needs to give you the courtesy of finding someone else (if you want to) if she is choosing to drop out.
2007-03-18 21:39:18 · answer #9 · answered by innocence faded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask. You may insult her by not letting her.
2007-03-18 21:37:15 · answer #10 · answered by angeludecievedme 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋