Love Me Love Me?

Question

Okay why do some couples claim they are in love and go crazy over each other and once they break up they claim they hated each other or they never really liked each other from the beginning? Why don't they just admit things went wrong?

Answer 1

It is called ego. No one wants to admit that they failed (or made a wrong choice) so they claim that they never loved the person anyway. I had (and I stress HAD) a friend who when she got divorced said that she never loved her ex anyway. WHAT they had two children together, how could she say that. Or was she a what is the word for someone who does it for money???? HO HO HO. I have loved and lost, loved and left, but I always admit that I did love the guy.

Answer 2

People never want to admit they're wrong. When they're in a relationship, they may feel that they're in love, and they act like infatuated teens. But when things take a turn for the worse, hatred over comes them and it just brings too much pain to tell someone, "I loved him, I still do, but things just fell apart." It's far easier to be in denial and say, "I never loved him anyway. He was a jerk from the start." Focusing on the hate deflects the mind from the tenderness for heart. It distracts the mind from the heartache.

Answer 3

Each person in a divorce or breakup believes that their point of view is the right one. After a big argument, they will break up each hating the other for disagreeing. They are too proud to just accept that they might have been wrong.

Answer 4

Dear Storm,
I think as people age, sometimes one of the other grows up faster than the other causing them to grow apart.
I really think now days people are looking for perfection in an in perfect world. They want what they want now, and if they cant have it they are miserable.
Everyone has relationships that don't work out, and in order to save face, we often claim we didn't like that person to begin with. When in reality we are very hurt but, that's the human way of dealing with rejection.

Answer 5

Because people are fickle creatures who will never admit to doubts as long as their conscious mind tells them not to. As for why they don't admit things went wrong... people don't like to admit flaws in their actions or behavior, especially pertaining to important matters of a primary biological function such as propagation of the species, which relationships unfortunately fall into the category of.

It's a sad fact of life that one can just as easily fall out of love as falling in, but most people aren't taught that or simply choose to ignore it, as its much more satifying concentrating on the joyous aspects of love.

Part of the reason people are so vehement towards one another once they break up is because they feel betrayed by the person they opened up to and shared the most intimate details of themselves. Under normal circumstances, due to instinct, people tend to guard themselves against anyone learning anything about them that may be used against them at some point. It's an interesting counterpoint then to note that in order to build trust, humans share intimate information with each other. When the inevitable break up finally occurs, we tend to be left with conflicting emotions that are difficult to sort through. The feelings of betrayal, doubt, ego, etc. become become entangled and we seek the easiest way out, which is to just lash out of the situation like a cornered animal.

When someone gets angry, hurt, or defensive about a break up or the former object of their affection, its generally proportional to how much the relationship meant to them.

Understanding the conflicting feelings and knowing how you feel and why you feel that way is important to surviving the end of a relationship. Unfortunately, this isn't something people are particularly willing to teach or be taught about.

Perhaps its best to leave the shadows in the closet, or something.

In short, people don't want to appear vulnerable, so they attempt to convince themselves that they were never happy in the first place, and its all someone else fault. It may be negative, but it still is comforting in its own way, as long as you ignore what comes afterward. It that respect its very similiar to scratching an itch until it bleeds. Sure, the itch is gone for a few seconds, and it stops itching as long as you keep scratching, but a little while after you stop you'll be left with itch, and some pain to boot.

Notable exception to that though is the mourners, who never stop mourning dead or dying relationships. They focus on the good times without dealing with feelings of loss, and thereby spiral into oblivion, rather than attempting to cope with the loss and finding new methods of filling the gap.

Answer 6

no one likes to admit when they do things wrong. It is easier to place the blame on someone else than to admit you were at fault, therefore finding every reason to hate the other person is easier than finding why things did not work out to begin with. People do not like to admit when they are wrong.

Answer 7

Because that's the lie people tell themselves to help them get over the person. Plus it hurts to break up with someone, and people do and say stupid things when their heart gets broken.

Answer 8

they're bored with life and they just like the idea of love. they dont know what it really means. They're annoying and make out all the time they think being physically active with eachother is love, hopefully this helps.

Answer 9

because when they broke up they were vonurable... (s orry about the spelling.. I"m dyslexic..) anyways... they weren't protecting themselves for the possibality of a break up and they were so hurt that they didn't want tno admit they liked them when they were hurt so badly by someone they liked... being hurt by someone you already hate is fine, they are just your average every day hate...but someone you loved, cared about, spent time with, and trusted with things...who hurts you so bad by breaking your heart... it toys with your emotions...

Answer 10

because they have to much pride. and they really dont want to show each other that things went wrong. they act like they are cool with it but really they are not