Do you think people can change permanently or temporarily, was in a relationship for some years it turned violent, the guy says hes changed however my twin begs to differ and thinks I should pursue another man who has an interest in me because it isn't the other guy.
My heart is confused because my answer will inevitably be my life. Do I give the ex a chance or do I start a new with the unknown, the ex is comfortable because I know his capabilities.
I am a young adult, 22 and sound advice would be good.
2007-03-18 14:09:21 · 13 answers · asked by Diva 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hell no listen to your twin shes looking out for yah hun
2007-03-18 14:12:42 · answer #1 · answered by rpoker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's your ex for a reason.
And think about it, by the time people are in their 20's they for the most part have shown how they will act in certain situations for the rest of their lives.
If he's shown he'll be violent then he'll likley always be violent. People can change little things, but they cant change what they naturally are. They can only hope to hide it for so long, but eventually nature takes over and you revert to form.
Give the new guy a chance, or go ahead and take the ex back and just watch out for the left jab and right cross coming accross your face. Or if he likes to conceal the damage look for the straight to the stomach.
2007-03-18 21:16:27 · answer #2 · answered by Thats me...A to the D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In thinking about this for your safety, it is good at your age to ask. Do not go back to your ex. It isn't safe and your twin knows this. Reach outside the comfort of knowing his capabilities, and learn about someone new. It is your age, your experience, and most important your safety and responsibility to your life to find a safer relation. Is a relation with someone what you're looking for? Give yourself some opportunities, and if the other man interests you, go on with it. If you want to be left to yourself, do not go back to your ex, find a new interest.
Did your ex come back because someone else showed an interest in you?
You owe your own life more comfort than your ex can ever provide. You will be happier to move on. I hope this is sound without being intruding.
2007-03-18 21:24:01 · answer #3 · answered by Marissa Di 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your twin must have taken all of the wisdom! Hell no you don't go back to that violent man. Did you enjoy the voilence? If not then you better not press rewind. Keep the tape rolling and record a new life with the new guy. If you press rewind then you will replay the same situation and it could even get worse! Life is not meant to be rewinded. Keep the tape in play and listen to your twin!
2007-03-18 21:15:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer to this question.
"...it turned violent..." Women across the globe hate you for even considering getting back into a relationship with this person. Please... PLEASE do not make this mistake. This man is an abuser, he has not changed. Even with years of professional help he will be hard pressed to change.
Your sibling is right, there are lots of men out there who will treat you way better than an abusive male. You're 22, get out there and try new things. Don't become another statistic.
2007-03-19 01:20:51 · answer #5 · answered by THUB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not ever and i repeat ever go back to an abusive boyfriend. no matter how much a we men say we have changed the truth is that is on the outside. As soon as we are comfortable in whats going on we let out all of our old habits. when it comes to changing not may ppl can do it very quickly. he thinks if he tells you he has and makes you think he has then he will. but wait until you anger him for some stupid reason and he turns back into a bad person. what if you have children with him before he shows his true colors.
ONCE AN ABUSER ALWAYS AN ABUSER
2007-03-18 21:17:09 · answer #6 · answered by billy_bong_horton 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for the new guy. If you were meant to be with the other guy, you'll meet again in the future. He must have seemed nice at the beginning of your relationship too, but then he started getting physical. He could be the same again.
Your twin knows you and these guys. Listen to her, she wants the best for you. Sometimes other people can see things we can not.
2007-03-18 21:15:18 · answer #7 · answered by NEONhearts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on...if the old guy was violent then you need to think as if your life DOES depend on you making the right decision. he may have changed...but hopefully you will never know - do you really want to wait around for something to happen again? be realistic, they don't change. he had his chance with you, but you deserve better. listen to your twin in this case!
2007-03-18 21:35:38 · answer #8 · answered by in love love love... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People do change temporarily to get what they want. It happens in early stages of dating all the time. But once someone relaxes in a relationship, their true side comes out.
If he is an abuser, he's very prone to do it again. At your age, finding someone to treat you better should be easy to find.
2007-03-18 21:13:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are young and strong,move on and find someone to love you,and leave the past behind,please get out now before something very bad happens to you. i have been there before and it only gets worse,i was left for dead before,by a man that i thought was dear at one time, but things do make them change , could be drugs,drinking,etc
2007-03-18 21:16:42 · answer #10 · answered by kat_luvr2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your twin is right. Do not go back with your ex!
2007-03-18 21:13:22 · answer #11 · answered by rustybones 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋