religion and marriage...?

Question

My brother and sister-in-law hold two different beliefs: my brother is aethist and my sister-in-law is christian. They get along well, but problems arose when they had their first child; my sister-in-law wants her son to be christian and my brother doesn't want to force him one way or the other.

I personally think that people of two different belief systems will not succeed in a marriage...not because of each other, but in situations like above. I am not a religious person and I know that if I had a religious spouse this would be an issue. I don't want to keep my child from religion, but I want to teach them about many religions and let them decide for themselves which religion they want, if they want any at all. I think a religious spouse would feel differently.

What do you guys think? Would this be an issue? How do you resolve such a conflict? Who gets to decide which religion (or non-religion) is the way their child should go?

Answer 1

I think both should expose the child to different religions. Let him grow up and have the maturity to pick the belief he wants or if he doesn't want any belief. I think your sister-in-law should stop trying to want her chid to become a Christian. She should have seen this the moment she knew he was an atheist.

Answer 2

Depending how strongly they feel about their beliefs, I do think this will be a major problem. I almost wonder how they even got as far as they did in the first place. As for resolving it, that wouldn't be easy. I guess they would both have to explain their points and let the child decide (along with being exposed to other beliefs). I say neither of them should decide which one is better then the other, as that might lead to a big enough argument leading to them breaking up.

Answer 3

Yeah, I dont think inter-religious marriages are the best thing, but I think that it is ultimately up to the child because no matter how much the parents try to enflict a religion on their children, they cant control the heart. I think since God gave free will, parents should too. Well, in some special circumstances, that is

Answer 4

They should have discussed the issue of baptism before marrying, but since they are married and they have a child together, your brother must know that the mother's opinion has an edge over the father's. Why is your brother that angry over the issue of baptism, when the child will grow up, it will decide what to be, an atheist or a believer, he could even decide (if it's a boy) to become a priest, what then?

Answer 5

Well my husband is a christian and I am an agnostic. He goes to church occasionally not weekly (he's Anglican but living in America) and I never do. He doesn't ask me to go and I don't ask him to change his beliefs. It is just something he and I never discuss and since we do not have children currently and nor will we in the future it really does not impact us much.

I think if you plan on having kids and are different religions this is something you have to agree upon before getting hitched not after.

Answer 6

This is my situation. I believe in Jesus, but I am Spiritualist. My husband believes in Jesus, but he attends a Bible Church. I sometimes go to his church, because I am open-minded, but he never came to mine, because he doesn't think it is right. Well, we have kids and they go with my husband to his church and I agree, because I know it is a good environment after all, besides they are having the opportunity to hear about Jesus. However, when they grow a little older to understand that there are several different religions, I will tell them about my belief. I will not force my religion upon them, but I cannot lie to them about what I believe to be true. I trust that they will make their own choice, based on their own intuition.

I suggest your brother allow his wife to take their child to the church and teach them about her belief, and one day, when they are older to understand, he can talk about what he believes or not believes at all, and, most important, respect the kid's choice, whatever it is. Accepting other people's choice about religion is all about tolerance.

Peace!

Answer 7

well if your sister-in-law is a true Christian she should have never married your bro anyway. the bible said that we should not be unequally yoked. which means that you shouldn't marry an unbeliever. the reason being is that in Christianity once you are married you and your spouse become "one" in the sight of God all your sins will be linked together and if you are married to an unbeliever it's like half of you doesn't believe in the Lord and half of you does. but the Bible also says that wives should be obedient to their husbands so she should listen to her husband and let the child choose his/her path. this doesn't mean that she cannot take him to church

Answer 8

Church gives the parents more control over their kid's choice of friends. When your brother dumps his kid on the doorstep of the local public school, the child will naturally make friends first with the kids he recognizes from church. This is not a bad thing. Your brother can be comforted with the knowledge that society and the public school system will work hard to force his kid to the atheist view.

Answer 9

The bible has something to say about this, that a christian should only marry another christian. It may sound to many people a pretty horrible command, but if a person believes enough in God to follow this command, then that person should believe that God would lead him/her to marry another christian. I don't believe your marriage issue should have ever really happened in the first place.

Answer 10

The CHILD gets to decide. Bring it to church a few times, see if it wants to go back. Probably not. Let them decide for themself, and wait until they are old enough to make an informed decision (say, 18 or so).