Kids should have the same rules in both Dad and Mom's home, don't you think? Any tips for raising good kids?

Question

I feel it's important to have the same basic rules at both Dad and Mom's house if Dad and Mom are divorced or no longer live together. They need to learn to knock if a door is closed, not just barge in; to not borrow anything without asking the owner's permission; etc. Got any tips for "good" rules for kids to obey in both households?

Answer 1

In an ideal world then yes, I'd say have the same rules at both houses and if you and your ex are in a position to do that then well done you!

If you're not then I'd suggest doing what we've done and that's setting up your own house rules.

Ours are fairly simple in the main,

No biting, kicking, fighting or swearing.

If you ask for it you eat it.

Do as you're told, when you're told.

No back chat.

Bedtime is at bedtime-no arguments.

You are responsible for your own room and
toys(regardless of who got them out).

If it's not yours and you haven't asked leave it alone.

All meals are to be eaten in a civilised manner with whatever cutlery is appropriate.

No chomping(eating noisily or with mouth open).

Pleases and Thank yous are obligatory not optional.

and the last one, which applies especially in this case-which is more of a house statement than a rule-

I don't care what you do at anyone else's house-here you behave yourself.
(To clarify we NEVER specify whose house we're talking about though.)

Hope these give you some ideas at least, in the main everyone involved with our children gets on reasonably well and have similar basic values but even so we have some fundamental differences parenting style-wise.

If you manage to have both households running symmetrically my hat's off to you!

Answer 2

First you should talk to their father about it, and if he is a jerk, then instead of right away telling your kids no tell them something they can do instead. You could also make a game out of things. For example, when they knock on the door have a certain knock, kind of like drums, then let them in...
Good Luck with it though...

Answer 3

It has nothing to do with the kids, if the other parent isnt cooperating like mine, there is nothing you can do. My ex has no discipline and will not and it makes it very difficult for everyone.