I am 20yrs old and I aways ask for my mother's approval or opinion when I want to make certain decisions in my life. Like when choosing a career (because I am a person who changes her mind constantly when choosing a career), or wanting to move out of the house. Then if she reacts negatively then I get terribly affected if is something that I wanted to do and I feel deeply in my heart.
Am I an insecure person because of this?
2007-03-18 13:23:36 · 23 answers · asked by Jamie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hi, no your not insecure I think that you have just learned to depend on your mother too much, what you need to try and do is slowly draw yourself away from that and make your own choices, I'm sure you have a good head on you shoulders and you can make the right choices for yourself.
Yes there are times when you may make the wrong choices for your life but you will learn from your mistakes it's all part of being an adult right.
When we learn to depend on others for a long period of time it becomes a habit and there is nothing wrong with that, we all have bad habits and we just slowly release ourselves out of them that's' all.
Take care.
2007-03-19 07:04:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can totally relate to you and the worst part is IM 23 yrs old. I still live at home and I still have to tell my mom the full details of where I am going, with who, till what time etc. I'm an only child so maybe that's why!? I would say that its possible you do have some insecurities. You need to believe in urself a little bit more and this goes for me too, so don't feel like your alone! Just imagine how you want your future and start making some goals!
2007-03-18 13:39:35 · answer #2 · answered by jna_in_love 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with asking for their opinion or help! But it you are not able to make a decision without their approval then there are some insecurity issues there! But you need to realize that you can make you r own decisions and that mom and dad aren't always going to agree with the decisions that you make! I am 27 and still ask my mom and dads opinon, but i dont let them rule my life! That is what parents are for!
2007-03-18 13:34:52 · answer #3 · answered by BRIDE*2*BE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not bad to ask advice of your parents, thats what they are there for. But on the other hand do not rely on them for every decision in your life. That is what the 20's are made of, making your own decisions while if they go wrong you still have a lot of time to turn the wrong into a right. You need experience of your own.
2007-03-18 13:28:00 · answer #4 · answered by Lauren C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not wrong to ask for advice from your mom but it is your decision as to whether you take her advice or not.
I don't feel you are insecure.....just being cautious.
If she reacts negatively you have to explain that you wanted her opinion and will think about what she had to say.Don't take it so personally that you get so upset.
You still have to make your own decision and stick to it.Mom will still love you no matter what.
2007-03-18 13:35:00 · answer #5 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're at the age where you have to make your own decisions. If you always wait on what your mom will say, you will never do anything. It's nice that you take her opinion into consideration, but let nothing or no one stop you from doing what you want to do. If you want something so much, go for it. Don't let your mom hold you back because she doesn't agree with you.
Seriously, at what point will you start living your own life?
Good luck.
2007-03-18 13:29:37 · answer #6 · answered by MaRiNa 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing wrong with asking for opinions from your parents. They are older and probably wiser as they've gone through all you have.
However, you can't let them run things for you. You need to make your decisions. You can use there advise to help make your decision, but it must be YOURS. Take responsiblity for how you want your life to go - careers, moving out, and all.
2007-03-18 13:28:29 · answer #7 · answered by Stacy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When are you going to start making your own decisions? You are now 20 years old, you need to start using your own mind. It is good to get someones opinion about what decisions you want to make, but when they start to say things that are negative, that's when you need to ignore them and start thinking for yourself.
Your parents are not going to make decisions for you for the rest of your life. If you don't start making your own decisions now, you will never know how to make them later in your future. So, start thinking for yourself.
You will do your mom a great favor in wanting to move out because she is the one holding you back. When it is time for you to move out, tell your mother that you appreciate everything she has done for you and now it is time for you to grow up and move forward. You just need to have a 'back bone'. Just make your decisions wisely.
2007-03-18 13:36:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you need her approval so badly? Do you feel like she wont accept you, if you are your own person? Do you and her have a good relationship because she's in control, or because there is mutual respect? If you want to know the truth, then be true to your self, and see how she reacts. Then you'll have your answer.
2007-03-18 13:30:13 · answer #9 · answered by Erin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is ok to ask and it is ok to listen but it is NOT ok to just completely abandon everything you want just because they say no .. Think about their answer and why they said what they said.. you didn't really give details what KIND of stuff they are saying.. If you really want a career in say, teaching, because you just LOVE kids, and they say NO because it doesn't pay enough - that is not exactly the best thing to necessarily listen to. Be advised that YES it doesn't pay as much but ultimately it's YOUR decision - not theirs.
2007-03-18 13:40:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋