my daughter is almost 7 months now and her father still never really comes around...he will stop by n give me like $50 sometimes but he wont hold or play or talk to the baby...he just looks at her...i talked to him n asked him why he barley looks at her when shes in the room and he said hes not ready for a kid...hes been trying to get back together with me but still wont come near our daughter...what should i do?
2007-03-18 12:34:55 · 11 answers · asked by uhh huh♥ 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You can't force someone to be a parent, and if you try, they'll just resent you for it. I think you need to make it clear to your daughter's father that you're a package deal, if he wants you, he has to want her too, and he needs to step up and be a father. Have you considered taking him to court to ensure that you get the child support that you deserve? $50 every now and then is nothing (as I'm sure you know) even though it might help during a rough spot. Personally, I wouldn't get back with him, I think he's just looking for a place to park it for awhile, know what I mean?
2007-03-18 13:04:41 · answer #1 · answered by Rebecca C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think as she gets older he'll come around more. A 7 month old doesn't do much. As she starts talking and walking he'll probably get into being a father more. He's probably just not into babies. Don't get me wrong, she's his daughter and he should hold and play and talk to her but he's a guy and some guys are like that. But he'll probably come around when she's 1. I have a similar situation and my son's dad comes around a little more now that he's 1 and doing more things and has his own little personality.
I wouldn't get back together just yet though. He needs to realize that he is a father now and he has a responsibility. He needs to realize his daughter needs him! He needs to do more than just give you $50 sometimes. I know you have a child together but is he really ready to be a family together? Make him prove he's really ready before you get back together.
2007-03-18 13:25:52 · answer #2 · answered by Strawberry 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Make him hold her and get her to smile. My husband and father of our 2 children had trouble the first few months because they don't really do much. He needs to know he is getting a package deal. You are not just one person anymore. He gets you and the baby. If he cannot accept her she will sense that as she gets older. It's better to have no dad than a uncaring, resentful dad. Tell him maybe you were not ready for a kid either but here she is. Now that she is here you couldn't imagine life without her. She is a part of both of you and you love her. Your loyalty should always be with your daughter. A good man will love you for that.
2007-03-18 13:51:44 · answer #3 · answered by dkwkbmn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is scared he will mess up. He might have had a horrible childhood with his father, and doesn't want that for his child. Tell him that the baby needs his attention and that if he wants you back, he is going to have to take his daughter back too.
Good luck
2007-03-18 12:39:54 · answer #4 · answered by Brittney U 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about him. I worry about women who date new men when they have children because the boyfriends generally do not love the woman's child(ren) like they should. Just because your daughter is biologically his doesn't change the fact that he doesn't love her. Stay away from any man that does not want to be involved with your daughter. Even if it's her dad.
2007-03-18 12:40:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this probably isnt want you wanna hear..... but you and she deserve better. you are better off concentrating on your baby first and you will meet someone who is better for the both of you. drop him. at least youre ready to be a parent even if he's not ready to step up. be strong.
2007-03-18 12:39:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to let him know that he isn't going to be with you if he isn't willing to be apart of his daughters life. and he wasn't ready for a kid he should have thought about that before he started sticking and poking at things with out protection.
2007-03-18 13:26:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think the father is just scared because babies are so little. i bet that once your daughter can say daddy he will fall in love with her. my husband was leary of holding our son when he was little and didn't know how to interact with him but now that our son is a year they interact well with eachother.
2007-03-18 13:43:01 · answer #8 · answered by alina 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
go after him for support and move on. you have a child to take care of, and if he can't accept his child then why would you want him? Just get him to pay for support, and take care of your child. He will regret this in the long run
2007-03-18 13:23:08 · answer #9 · answered by Proud Mother 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he doesn't want anything to do with his own child he probaly isn't good husband or boyfriend material. i personally would tell him to hit the road if he would not have anything to do with my daughter.
2007-03-18 12:39:13 · answer #10 · answered by Maddie and Jacobs mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋