Is anyone else insecure with their spouse going to the Strip Club?

Question

I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years now, and he has never been to the strip club. He never wanted to go until he started hanging out with this new crowd. I told him I am uncomfortable with the situation and that I would not like him to go because why should he go see a Naked Women and pay money to see one, when he can pay nothing and see me. I hear so many stories about men getting turned on by these other women, then coming home to have sex and it's "the greatest sex". Personally, I get disguested. I don't want to have my man turned on my someone else to then come home and have sex with me, as if it was her. I trust him and know he wouldn't do anything or cheat on me, but my own feelings I don't see why he has to go to a strip club. Should I put my feelings aside and tell him "Go ahead I don't care" or what?

Answer 1

I felt the same at one point, but then I went with my female friends to see what the big deal was. It was nothing to worry about. Then I went with my man to see if it felt any different, and it wasn't. Then we ended up in one by accident one day (in key West, long story...) and it was dead b/c it was day time. I ended up talking to a dancer for about 2hrs and asked her everything every women wants to know about strip clubs. It was very enlightening! A couple points she made that made me feel much better was - these girls do this for a living, it's just a job to them, it doesn't turn them on AT ALL! When they are dancing for them, they are just thinking about getting the money and moving on, and think a lot of these men are disgusting, esp. the ones with wedding rings on. And she made the point that women in a regular bar are more likely to go home with a guy than a dancer is. Most dancers just want to make their money and go home, and the ones that don't are the ones that are looking for a guy that is loaded and is dropping a ton of money on them. They don't want a regular guy. Most guys go with their friends in large groups, drink, laugh and throw a couple dollars to the dancer. They aren't interested in or turned on by the dancers. The clubs can actually be hilarious b/c there are a lot of girls dancing that have no business being naked in public! You should really go and see what it's about for yourself. Go with your friends first so you can have an honest reaction. Talk to a dancer if you can. Then go with your man, and go with him when he goes with his friends. You will probably feel much better about it. I feel safer letting him go to a strip club than to a bar with all those drunk sluts running around. Give it a try!

Answer 2

If you feel uncomfortable about him going, you have to tell him so and tell him exactly how you feel about it. You have to let him know that you hate the idea, see no need in it and your hurt that he wishes to look at other women naked. If he feels the need to go, then you can't stop him but you can make it clear that upon him coming home you will not tolerate his urges.
I honestly hate the fact that my husband goes. He claims that it's nothing more than entertainment and watching them dance (you know that they're really athletic blah,blah) and the beautiful body should be admired. I'd like to poke his eyes out sometimes but I take a breath and say whatever (like any of those girls would be interested in him anyways). I've warned him that watching is fine but if I ever find out a lap dance or anything else, was involved, the fun time would be over. I have heard of way too many married men getting lap dances, boob shooter, and some strippers squatting on their face for a twenty. I wish the business never existed but I've learned to tolerate it somewhat.
Make sure your clear as to why you hate him going and what may happen if he continues or if it gets out of hand (spending money on dances). Lay it out for him and follow through, a man worth keeping would never jeopardize a loving relationship for an expensive night of naked women.

Answer 3

I think a lot of women have issues like this one. I trust my husband 100% and I think that the female body is sexy. Guys don't want to get turned on in front of their buddies! Men are visual creatures. Strip clubs=live porn (like moving pictures) I don't feel there is anything wrong with that. Most women are insecure and can't understand, but I do. Men are not comparing other women to YOU! They simply see women as sexy and as long as he will not cross that line I think you should accept it. Don't be so insecure. He isn't thinking about her, she just puts him into a sexy frame of mind. When he realizes how comfortable you are with it, it won't be such a big deal. Guys go, drink beer, hoot and holler, and come home. Do you not discuss with your friends how hot McDreamy is? It's the same thing. Hope I gave you some insight. Best of luck! :)

Answer 4

If your b-friend likes to go to the strip club it's probably because it's kinda like a taboo and a thrill while he is there.
He gets excited,men are very VISUAL and love "fast" beautiful women (but doesn't wanna take her home to mama,though),/cars/expensive watches and etc. and when he comes home and do the do with you,I hate to tell you this...
but truth be told is that the....is alot better because he is imagining that you are one of the girls from the club.

If I were you,I'd put on a pink/red lipstick and kiss the collar of his shirt after he have been to the stripclub,well,it has to be kinda hidden at the same time,because,believe me...he checks himself out in the mirror before he comes home.
Comfront him about it and see if he looks guilty,if he should act more "kind" after this stripclub visits it's because he's feeling guilty....

You could even write a name and number on a piece of paper and put it in his wallet/pocket,and see what his excuse is... Does he look guilty or not

If you wanna take it to the extreme,there is female actors out there if you wanna hire one and have her approach him and see if he responds to it.....

I mean,it is sneaky,but it's up to you if it's worth to take it that faar.

Men are hunters and want what they can't have!
I suggest that you "turn the tables" on him,
how about that you go to a stripclub for women,you don't even have to go,just make him believe that you are and he'll definetly won't like it.
You can even tell him that you have bought a stripper outfit and shoes and wanna give the stripping a try at the club too,it doesn't have to be true,but make him feel the way you feel when he goes to the s.club.,maybe he'll stop or cut down on the stripclub visits.

You could suggest to go to a exotic store with him and have some fun,or how about you just surprise him with something different?

Be creative,I'm sure you are a beautiful and a great woman,but like I said....
Men are men,not all men are the same,but in general they are!

I suggest that you go to the bookstore and buy these two books:

"WHY MEN LOVE B****'S by: Sherry Argov.
and "WHY MEN MARRY B******'S" by: Sherry Argov.

They don't cost too much,maybe $14 each or so,but you WILL NOT REGRET IT.

These books is fun,iteresting and also all facts about how and why men/women act the way we/they do.
It's a pageturner and I do not read alot,but I only used a day on each book.
It's a best seller,way better than why Men Are From Mars & Women from Venus.....
It's more a more modern written version!!!!

Look it up on the net:

It's nothing wrong with you,and you're not the only one who has this "problem".
Good Luck!
And I don't wanna see no more of these kinda questions from you until you've checked out those books! :)

Answer 5

It depends on the guy and the trust level you have, as well as his motives for going.
My ex-husband used to frequent those places, and I agree: it seemed dirty that he would go to see these women and then come home to me, all hot & bothered. Maybe it was the "greatest" for him, but it sure wasn't for me!
My current boyfriend rarely goes to those places - only if he's going along on a guy's night out, either a celebration (a bachelor's party, for example) or to help a buddy drown his sorrows (one guy's wife had just left him).
He ALWAYS calls me from the club, to tell me how he wishes it were me up there, dancing just for him. Or maybe he sees a girl who looks like me... never that he wishes that I looked like them!
It's all in the perspective of the two parties involved:
If you're uncomfortable with it, have enough faith in the strength of your relationship to tell him. Chances are, he'd feel the same way if you went to see male strippers!

Answer 6

I dont allow my guy to go to strip clubs but hes gone in the past before we were together so hes not really missing out on anything.. ive never gone but my cousin goes with her boyfriend and she says its weird at frist cuz theres naked women everywhere but that its not that big of a deal, but i think its kind of gross why have a girlfriend if you still act like a horny little 13 year old boy...

Answer 7

This situation is, in part, a question of your faith in yourself to hold him, and your faith in him to remain "faithful", whatever THAT means. In any event, men are much more visually stimulated than are women, and that is part of the reason such places exist. I must be a bit different in that I don't care very much to go be an observer of something that I can't touch, and prefer to to go home to the girl I love and be a participant!!! Whatever you think and feel, you should make certain that he understands that...be calm, but firm. Best wishes.

Answer 8

He should respect your feelings on this. Ask him how he would feel if you went with a group of female friends to see men stripping.

Perhaps you can compromise on this issue..Set the mood at home, get out your sexy lingerie put on a private strip show for him at home.

I believe that if he disregards your feelings on this issue that he is being totally selfish. You deserve better.

Answer 9

I don't mind a bit when my wife goes to the strip club. It gives me time to clean the trailer and work on the old Dodge in the front yard.

Answer 10

You go the same night that he does to a strip club as well. See how he would feel about that.

Or go with him! Some men and women really like that sort of thing.