my partner is really tight and stingy and when we go out, never offers to pay for anything, but always offers up suggestions of places to go, which always seem to be expensive places, help i cant afford him anymore. but apart from his tightness he is the lovest man ive ever met.
2007-03-18 12:22:15 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think this guy is a bit of vampire - and a gold digger. I suggest that YOU come up with the places to go in future on the basis that "I pay where we go, I say we go!" or else stay in and cook and have some wine or beer with the meal. If he's not keen on either, you'll know he's definitely only going out with you for your cash and you can dump him without a shred of guilt.
2007-03-18 12:33:11 · answer #1 · answered by Cara an chait 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real solution to this one, is to marry him.
(When it's all community money, you can just hope that his tight reflexes overcome his expensive tastes.)
Until then, I think the key is just to rein him in. You need to set a budget up front as to how much you can afford to spend on this relationship. When he suggests something that breaks the bank...you need to decline because "you really can't afford it right now". He'll either step up to pay, or you two will develop a less extravagant social life.
Either is probably fine.
2007-03-18 19:29:24 · answer #2 · answered by David G 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Seems like he just wants to live off you. What is the point in him being lovelly if you have to pay all the time. There will be lots of lovelly men out there happy to share bills with you so go and find one.
2007-03-18 19:42:19 · answer #3 · answered by Closed Down 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with him. Tell him you have to watch your finances and you can't afford to pick up the tab for both of you everytime you go out. He should understand and be willing to pitch in. If he doesn't, stop going out with him. If he is as lovely as you say, he will understand and compromise and he will offer to pitch in.
Good Luck.
2007-03-18 19:27:35 · answer #4 · answered by Just Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably wont pay if he thinks your going to. Next time slide the check his way, tell him while he is taking care of the check you need to visit the little girls room. If its still there when you come back, you definitely need to set him out with the trash. He needs to realize that a relationship is a 50/50 thing. Don't let him make it one sided.
2007-03-18 19:28:41 · answer #5 · answered by bugoff26 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
next time you arrange to go out forget to take your purse/ handbag etc. (your money, credit/debit cards).
now your partner has no option but to pay or not take you anywhere.
though to be honest, is he cheap or is it a case of he naturally does not have any spare cash to spend on attempting to impress you? you need to find out.
ask him why he never offers to pay at least his half of the bill?
if he is rich and can afford to spend the cash then it is time to dump him and move on. make it 100% crystal clear as to why you are breaking up.
"his name, I am breaking up with you because i can no longer afford to pay for everything we do and eat, you have never attempted to pay at least your fair share of the dates. so it is with regret that we must go our seperate ways" (word that better to suit your exact emotions.
if he loves you he will beg you to reconsider. tell him again it is over untill he can prove consistently he has changed his mean penny pinching ways. give him a month or two to shower you with gifts and phone calls, letters, text messages, emails begging you to go back out with him. give him another chance remember to tell him you forgot your money again. (though keep a little for cab fair hidden from him just incase you need it).
if he has changed his ways and on the date not only pays for everything but offers to buy little extras (souveniers etc) then may be consider another date, again repeat as for the last date untill he consistantly pays at the least his half of the bill.
the choice is ultimately yours, if he is worth it risk losing him forever by going through the above steps. if he loives you this will be a wake up call for him to change his ways. if however he is just using you then good riddence to rotten rubbish.
i hope the above steps help a little.
2007-03-18 19:58:13 · answer #6 · answered by thebestnamesarealreadytaken0909 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just tell him exactly what you have told us. Say that you care alot for him, but you can't afford him anymore. If he wants to go to those fancy places, then he has to spring for the cheque...
2007-03-18 19:26:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't give him the option,of picking the place out, or who should pay you pick the places that you can afford, if he doesn't want to go there then tell him he must pay!
2007-03-18 19:29:06 · answer #8 · answered by kat_luvr2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please, the man is a LEECH!!
Next time he "offers" to go someplace, flat out tell him you're broke. Tell him that the two of you should stay home and watch movies. Watch how fast he dumps you.
Dump Him First.
2007-03-18 19:25:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
*Remember you cant make people change...
so either you deal with it or you don't!!!
I know it must be horrible try letting him know
how you feel been honest about it helps it will
make him realize what a great person he really has...
and who knows, it might just change hes ways.lol
BEST WISHES TO YOU BOTH*
2007-03-18 19:30:42 · answer #10 · answered by Art 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋