We adopted child#5 recently from Guatemala. It was a long and difficult adoption. We finally got the baby home and have received NO CARDS OR EVEN A PHONE CALL from any family members. My family is out of the running - haven't spoken to them in 9 years. (abusive) But his family surprised us both by this. They generally did the same thing with our #4 child. (all other children have been biological) We have a cousin who is giving birth for the first time, who is having a big shower. I did not get a shower. I feel mad and upset about the lack of response from the family. We were orginally going to have a "adoption party" when he got home but now after 3 weeks of NO CARDS or even a phone call, I don't feel like it. I don't want to be the outcast of my own making but I also hate fakeness. Will have the party make it better?? They said they were waiting for a party to give us cards when we confronted our mother in law. Should you have to a party to get a card for having a baby?
2007-03-18 12:11:37 · 8 answers · asked by yuppiemommy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have never had a baby shower and we have no baby items. Our next oldest is six. We did not keep any of our baby items.
2007-03-18 12:24:56 · update #1
Wow now isn't that a situation..First of all major congrats on adopting foreign children..and your new baby ..I think that its one of the greatest things that a person can do..but anyways. I can totally understand why you would be mad because of not getting any calls or cards..That's horrible, but it was good that confronted your mother-in-law. So heres what i would do...I would have the party because a new child is something worth celebrating, do not let their rudeness keep you from enjoying what should be a happy time in your life..I mean seriously..would the fact that they called change that fact that u have a new child, just spend your time with your family...and not worrying over this...And invite lots of friends to the party..and invite the family too..you dont want serious problems with your family...it makes you miserable, trust me..And they probably were not waiting to give you a card..because they had plenty of time to call..Hang in there..and dont worry about his family...and dont have the party unless you are doing it for the right reasons, because or your baby..and only have it if u know you can truly enjoy it..!Good Luck..this is such a tricky thing..especially when ppl are soo rude..if i were u id probably have the party and not invite them,...but that's just me..Have a good night=)
2007-03-18 12:23:52 · answer #1 · answered by little miss sunshine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you just adopt the baby so you could get a card. Get over it. Most people don't acknowledge it when a second, third, fourth, etc. child is born. Etiquette is a shower for the first child only.
Someone should have called to see how things are going, but I don't think you should expect any more than that.
2007-03-18 12:15:57 · answer #2 · answered by zil28ennov 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Congrats!
However, it's a wonderful thing for you, but some people just don't do cards. I know I don't. That doesn't mean they don't care. Quite honestly, you now have child 5. Lots of people do not have showers except for the 1st child.
You made this choice for yourself. Not for cards and presents. If you want to celebrate the welcoming of this child, go for a party, but do it for the right reasons.
2007-03-18 12:16:49 · answer #3 · answered by Stacy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Being an outcast is not worth the statement you want to make. Since they will respond with "Well we were planning on the adoption party to get it all together. You are in a no win situation
Have the party and make believe your happy,
Be strong, I understand your feelings.
2007-03-18 12:18:34 · answer #4 · answered by Nort 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it is her FIRST child - stop beign so self centered tradition dictates women only get showers for thier 1st child!!! it is only in the last 10-20 years that people started having showers for subsequent births -
If you want to celebrate your adoption that is great, it will be a great way to welcome the new baby into the family - throw a party invite the whole family - but remember don't penalize the girl who is having her 1st baby because you are jealous that she is getting attention!!!
2007-03-18 12:16:58 · answer #5 · answered by Shopaholic Chick 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
im not exactly sure what you are talking about, but no i dont think that you should have a party to get a card for having a baby....but technically you didnt have it....u adopted it
2007-03-18 12:17:01 · answer #6 · answered by Christina. 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you have 5 kids... the family member having the shower is having her first... you have all you need for kids, right? why are you complaining? you didnt adopt, or have kids to be accepted or have showers... dont worry about it... some of us NEVER had a shower for ANY kids we had...
2007-03-18 12:15:35 · answer #7 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no
2007-03-18 12:14:17 · answer #8 · answered by T P 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋