My 16 y o son sneaking out at night. Staying out till early hours of morning. I suspect he is doing drugs(marijuana) with his friends. I saw his eys were red. i m confused and dont know how to handle this situation. any suggestions?
2007-03-18 11:11:57 · 29 answers · asked by laddu25 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hey dad - be honest. Let him know what you are thinking and be availbale to him for questions and guidance. He is going to do the drugs whether you like it or not, but let him know you dissaprove and why. He will have to make decisions from there.
It is not, however, to stay out until early hours if you do not permit it. So reinforce your rules again and discipline as neccessary.
2007-03-18 11:19:17 · answer #1 · answered by TMP SWKER 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can buy a pee test to test him for drugs. I would do this and just suddenly spring it on him one day. You can also speak to the administrators at his school and ask their suggestions. You cannot be his friend and you have to get yourself in the right frame of mind - tough love on this one.
Don't' bait him: Just act like nothing is going on and then make him take the pee test. After you get the results you can clamp down on him. If you have the money I would hire a private detective to follow him around one night and see what he is doing because it will catch the drugs dealers and his friends who are also on drugs.
You really do have to get this now or he can ruin his life at this precise moment. If he is doing drugs you are going to have a tough time but he needs to be put into rehab now or you can lose your son and his future is nil.
I tell parents: zero tolerance.
2007-03-18 11:16:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all dont worry too much every teenager sneaks out at some point. By rhe sounds of it hes not getting alot of sleep. Could this be why his eyes were red not the drugs? Have you tried just having a quiet calm convosation to him about your concerns. What about grounding him? Or taking his favourite thing off him fopr a week? Eg phone, computer, computer games. Im not really sure what else to say as Im not a parent. Goodluck!!!!
2007-03-18 11:21:00 · answer #3 · answered by Kiara 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your daughter would blame you notwithstanding if the divorce became no longer your fault. take place on the appointed place and time and have your ex do a similar. if your daughter sees that the two one in each of you probably can get alongside even nevertheless you're no longer married, she may be greater prepared to come again around. additionally, you probably did no longer point out this yet does Janea have her very own room at your place? If no longer, she might experience which you haven't any longer have been given room for her. Make a factor to call her and ask how she is and tell her which you omit her. this might take time, yet optimistically it incredibly is only no longer long.
2016-10-01 03:26:46 · answer #4 · answered by aharon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good luck with this one, but i suggest maybe talking to him first and maybe try a bluff on him saying something to make him believe he is doing something like that or you can say you have talked to the juvenile judge and can have a hair test run on him which goes back along way to see how long he has been doing something but also you want to tell him you love him more than anything and that you know kids are going to experiment with things but there are things that people put in drugs now that will actually kill them and you want him to know you would do anything for him and be there for him and you want him to understand no matter what he can come and talk to you about anything and you will really try to be calm and understanding because if you holler and scream or threaten to kick his butt if he is doing drugs he will only hate you and rebell against you and possiblely end up a run away or hurt or dead.....also you may can contact a drug rehab or your local police department and talk to an investigator and see if you can set it up to where he can watch a film of kids that do drugs and what happens to them or a tour of a jail house or morgue.......good luck and do lots of praying...
2007-03-18 11:24:35 · answer #5 · answered by att_i_tude2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to handle it is to confront him. You are the dad so dont let him step all over you. Hes still young enough to have his butt put somewhere that wont tolerate his behavior. Tell him if he doesnt straighten up then hes going away to boot camp or something, Tell him the state will take care of him. ITS CALLED TOUGH LOVE AND ITS FOR HIS OWN GOOD.
answer from a mom of a 14 yr old boy
2007-03-18 11:17:47 · answer #6 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not wanting to undermine your concearns, but if he is only using pot, then your lucky. im only 23, and i know when i was growning up most kids tried pot at some stage, never going any further up the drug chain to harder substance.
now i see my friends younger siblings skipping right past pot and heading to speed, meth, extacy and ice, these are the drugs to fear, they are the ones that will see a 16 yo on the emergency room table suffering heart failure. pot however, has never had a fatality.
now as for your concearn, have you spoken to your son?? what kind of a relationship do you both have?
2007-03-18 11:18:32 · answer #7 · answered by daeman_83 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to him calmly, making sure that you dont get upset, becasue more than likely he will. Try to convince him that he is heading down the wrong road making the wrong decisions.
Its tough to tell them no you CANT smoke, because its going to make them angry and want to do it to spite you, so your going to have to find a tactiful way of convincing him to put down the weed. One thing to be thankful for is at this point you only suspect its weed, be thankful its not other stuff, and do what you can to convince him that drugs are not the answer.
2007-03-18 11:18:24 · answer #8 · answered by Xander R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go into your local police station. Ask to speak to a local community support officer. Ask for their advice. Can you get any support via a Youth Offending team EG. an officer to take your son under his wing, speak to him, arrange meetings for discussions, take him on outings for character building excercises... give him stern / stark warnings BEFORE he starts or gets caught committing crimes, truanting etc.
Try to find a local youth club with strong youth leader/s who will help...
Sit him down & TALK to him... Do some research on this site by finding other questions re: kids doing drugs & how best to deal & cope with...
Good luck!
Oh! Put a strong lock on your doors so he can't slip out...
2007-03-18 11:18:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there this is a tricky one. firstly do you have a wife if so it is important to be a united frount and agree your actions and stick to them. we had a simular problem in our family, what we did was went to see the GP about our concerned relative as you are his next of kin they will discuss things with you. The GP called my relative in for blood tests and read him the ript act putting the fear of god into him. As it came from the GP it worked. I guess your son will be moody if he is taking drugs and short tempered.
you probably wont get any luck talking to him if he is rebelling but is there someone he would talk to a sibling maybe? or relative
Good luck!
2007-03-18 11:18:23 · answer #10 · answered by lou897 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋