ok, i do this is it a bad thing? should i stopp?

Question

in general, i just bottle all things up show no emotion. but when i am alone with my girlfriend, it comes out.--things that irratate me during the day, she gets to hear about it--she gets to hear what i want to do to certain people (generally voilent things) she gets to hear things like how i feel--and plans for life, stuff that worries me, all that crap that i bottle up, i feel like i am being weak when i tell people this stuff. my girlfriend doesnt really say to much about it, she says she likes it when i talk.(i let her do a lot of talking too) but i feel like i am being weak when i do this. should i stopp?

my girlfriend says that she likes it when i talk cause it means i am more comfortable around her. and she does do a lot of "unloading' on me too ......

its not like i just talk to my girlfriend just so i can vent--its just that i tell her a lot of stuff i dont tell anyone else. i do meditation when i am frustrated, so dont get the idea that i only talk to my girlfriend so i can vent--cause it isnt like that

Answer 1

Showing emotion is not weakness. Bottling things up, however, is very bad for you. I'm not saying you should start yelling at people whenever you're mad or whatever, but don't just bottle it up and pretend everything is ok until you're alone with your girlfriend. Having all these violent thoughts is a product of you not letting emotion show at the proper moment and letting things get to you later. Of course, it is very good to be open and communicate with your significant other, but if you're just letting it out for your girlfriend and your girlfriend only, how are you supposed to get people to not irritate you if they don't know how much it bothers you? That'll just lead to nothing good.
And to whoever said that love is weakness...it's not... Human beings are social creatures by nature. Love just makes life that much better. the only people i'd imagine saying that love is weakness are those that have never experienced it themselves...

Answer 2

i think it is important to let your partner know what is going on in your life, but if you think you are just venting and do not want it to be that way than try to put aside some chill time for yourself.
i can only tell you what i do and it might sound dumb but it works for me. keep a journal that helps me keep an eye on the things that bother me and why, and meditation is a grate thing to. remember a good hunter is the one who can sit as still as possible because he is able to stay calm and stay focus of the task at hand.
i say that because i know that if their are a lot of things bothering me, than their is probably something wrong with me, and the way i am acting.
that is the only way i can figure out what s bothering me instead of just venting it out on other people. i hope all this rambling helps you a little.

Answer 3

ok...first of all...bottling things up doesnt help anything b/c it will start to eat away at you until you do say something. and you should be glad that your g/f is there for you as a sounding board...thats what she's for...you should let it out...its not helping you or anyone if you just let it roast in the back of your head. if you feel uncomfortable talking to her about it..then maybe you could try going to the gym and beating the snot out of a punching bag.

hope this helped.

Answer 4

Bottling things up is very bad for you, emotionally, so in the sense that talking with your girlfriend allows you to release that, no, you shouldn't stop, I think it's a good thing. That's what psychiatrists and therapists do, get you to talk.

You might want to get a dog though, so as to not overburden your girlfriend on overly stressful days.

Difficulties and burdens shared are halved.

Answer 5

It is not a bad thing to share your feelings. If you are having violent thoughts you should work on anger management a little bit. I am guessing that you are young. When someone irritates you just ignore them. Life is too short to get bothered by people who don't really matter.

Answer 6

It is good you have an out let as well she has an out let but not to much you need to talk about the good things in your life I'm sure there must be some good things happen in both lives..

Answer 7

you should stop, i do the same thing but in a different way, i have a lot of stress and im always happy in front of everyone but when im alone it all comes out...it is a sign of weakness and the only way you can overcome it is to find someone you can talk to and who would listen to you...if you keep talking about yourself to your gf it seems as if the relationship is all about you, if she says she doesnt mind than you have a really good gf because not only are you bf and gf but friends...good luck :)

Answer 8

You are using your gf as your emotional garbage can. I'm sure she REALLY appreciates THAT! Yeah, right!!! What did she ever do to you that you unload all your crap on her? Go find yourself a nice shrink, they get paid to listen to your whining, bitching and complaining.

Do I sound angry? Yes, I sure do! I was with a guy who did the same thing to me. And believe me, it get's very tiring. When he started, I just tuned out. Needless to say, we're not together anymore.

Answer 9

dont worry, i feel that love is for weak people who cant depend on themselves and need someone else to make them happy (generally the case with teenage relationships)

i would probably just stop talking so much about the violent stuff

Answer 10

You need a way to vent your feelings, and having someone that is willing to listen to you is awesome. Getting it out to her may actually prevent you from doing whatever it is you want to do to some people.