Why do some people stay with the person they have been hurt by. I have this friend that hasn't learned her lesson I guess. This guy that she has been with for about 5 months has chested on her more than 4 times. Though when she breaks up with him, he usually calls her and askes her back out. She says then it is the samething over again. What should I do.? Why do people go back/or stay with the people that hurt them? Plz help me!
2007-03-18 10:47:31 · 4 answers · asked by Briann M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Women pick guys that are jerks, and later complain that men are jerks. Never once considering that it's the guys they choose. Someday women will choose men based on qualities such as their ability to provide for them, how well they treat them, their character, their temperment, or even their inclination towards providing emotional support; but for now they'll continue to choose their men on their cars, their wearing the popular named clothing and the like. One 19 year old girl in a class of mine with 3 kids from 3 fathers, married to none, admitted to picking men to be with on their gold chains. She also intends to continue this as well; even after complaining about all 3 of the guys that she has children with. Sad to say but that's typical of women, especially the younger ones.
2007-03-18 10:59:44 · answer #1 · answered by annoyed_with_the_other_answers 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most often when people stay or go back to those who have hurt them it is because they lack enough self-esteem (feelings of self-worth and self-love)- to realize that they deserve not to be treated this way. Perhaps they do not realize that life without this person would be better than life with that person. They may be depressed, lacking a fulfilling purpose in life, and seek to avoid these feelings by becoming involved with someone who they must give all of their attention and energy to. What they don't realize is that by doing this, they may feel better for a short time, but in the long run, the relationship causes the depression to become worse. The best thing you can do for your friend is to remind her often that she is a beautiful person, inside and out, and that she has people like you who care deeply for her, no strings attached. It may take a lot of time for her to sort out her feelings, to understand where they come from. Be a good listener. Try not to preach or tell her what she "should or shouldn't" do. I know it is tempting to do this, because you care for her and don't want to see her get hurt. It's difficult to be in the position you are in. You may be tempted to get angry with her, or stop wanting to listen. By staying true to your friend, and being there for her when she needs you, you stand the greatest chance of showing her, through your thoughtfulness and caring, that she is worthy of something better than the painful relationship she is involved in with her boyfriend. She is lucky to have a caring friend like you...showing her this through your actions is much more powerful than telling her would be. Good luck!
2007-03-18 11:09:52 · answer #2 · answered by It's Ms. Fusion if you're Nasty! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe because they think that they are not worthy of anyone any better, and they keep going back because he knows that he can just use her when he wants to.
2007-03-18 11:03:00 · answer #3 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she obviously LOVES bad boys, and it makes her happy when she gets hurt
tell her to grow some guts and say NO
2007-03-18 10:50:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋