i am having problems with my girlfriend who i love to death nd i need help. please help me get over this issue

Question

me and my girlfriend are very close, i think, and have been together for only almost a year but i love her and she always tells me she loves me. sometime last year, when we were only together for like a month, she told me she liked another guy. she said she didnt think it was a big deal because we wernt together that long. once she told me she liked this other guy she talkd to me alot less on the computer and stoped asking me to hang out and hung out with him instead. during the next few days i was on vacation and barley spoke to her during the day so i am clueless to what she did with him. one day i even saw a text messege on her cell phone that said something like 'i was so tempted to ask you after we hooked up' from this guy and she responded saying 'im such a tease'. she swears that she never kissed him and i dont remember if the messege said exactly that so i dont know what to think. after hours of begging and talking i finally convinsed her to chose me over this other guy. she later told me that she only liked him because he was 'hot'. although this incident tore me apart emosionaly i remained in our relationship because i loved her (acording to her she only 'liked' me at the time) and believed her when she told me it wouldnt happen again. less than a month later she told me she still loved this other guy she liked alot before she met me. during this time i wittnessed her go in a parked car with him, both in the front seats, and remain in the car for like 20min. she says that all they did was talk but i dont know what to think. once again, after begging her to take only me she again promised nothing would happen again and apologized. i again believed her, but about one month later she told me that she thought one of my friends was 'hot'. this made me mad and upet and i told her i wanted out of the relationship. this time she begged me to stay and got her friends to tell me to keep her until i decided to give her one more chance. although nothing has happend since the last incident (about 6 months ago) i am always afraid she will do it again especially because she hangs out with so many different guys (alot more guys than girls) and some of them have reputations for using girls for sex. i asked her to stop talking to some of the guys that i thought woukd make an attempt to get with her and she has but idk if shes lying or not. she is also talking about goin to florida with some girls for a week and i dont feel comfortable with it and i told her that but she said shes going anyway. i love this girl to death and she tells me she loves me all the time but i dont trust her when it comes to other guys. i always have flashbacks and dreams about what happened in the past or think that shes doing something when she doesnt answer her cell phone. another think im not comfortable with is that 2 of her best friends have hooked up with other guys behind their boyfriends backs and im afraid that she will do the same, although she swears she wont. i dont think i can get over this girl and i think id be even more upset than i already am if i left her. please help me. i need to know the truth that she may be hiding from me and i need to find a way that i can trust her around other guys and believe her when she tells me she would never cheat on me. thank you so much for reading this whole thing and helping me resolve this issue.

Answer 1

Wow, I think that she is just a ho and she is not going to change. You should find someone that actually respects you. Im sorry and good luck!

Answer 2

If you are serious (and I think you are) I say it sounds like you do love her very much but sorry to say if you can't trust her now you never will. There will always be problems because of lack of trust. I think you should be honest with her. Tell her you love her but that sometimes you still doubt her faithfulness now and for in the future. Ask her if she sees a future with you like marriage, kids, etc. If she isn't sure but tells you she loves you and wants to definitely see where the relationship goes then give her a chance. If she screws up again I would let her go. There is someone else out there who would respect you and love you back. I am telling you though you can't have a happy relationship if you are worried about her cheating on you all the time. And it sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do.

Answer 3

wow, this is deep. you obviously have some pretty big trust issues with this girl, and from the looks of it you're not going to be getting over them anytime soon. the stuff she did in the past was pretty messed up, but you said there hasn't been an incident since then..and im guessing you're in highschool, and if she was going behind your back..there is a really big chance you'd find out because, well, people talk. and i know it might be hard for you to accept is that people really do change, and it seems to me she has changed for the better. it takes different people different amounts of time to fall in love, and you've gone 6 months without any kind of an incident from her..so it seems as if she has stopped her player days. if you have any reason to think she is going behind your back-confront her. if she gets defensive make sure you let her know the only reason you seem overprotective is because of what she's done in the past, i hope everything works out for you!

Answer 4

Now I don't know this girl, but going by what you just typed, I would definitely say it's time for you to move on. I don't know how old she is, but she sounds very immature. Not only does it sound like she's cheated on you more than a few times, she also sounds like she's not even sorry about it.

But...if you do believe she's changed, then you're really going to just have to trust her. No one can tell you how, you just have to do it. In my opinion though, if you can't see yourself without her, regardless of her questionable behavior, I'd say you should take a break from her while she's in Florida. Then, at least for a while, you can take that time to decide for yourself what's right, without having her there to influence you.

Answer 5

Trust is the real issue here. It seems to me that she doesn't really love you according to the past. Action speaks louder than words...if you get what I mean. It sounds like you love her but I don't think she feels the same way towards you. I think you deserve somebody better. A girl that respect, love and cherish you. You can move on by reminding yourself what she did in the past. Once a cheater is always gonna be a cheater. No one can change them. And don't be so pathetic making her pick you. You need to be love and think of yourself as THE MAN!

Answer 6

i dont want to be mean but there is a really good chance that she did cheat on you. the way it sounds it could be more then 3 times. i dont know what to say. you should of left her after the first time. if she loved you she wouldnt be with him more. if she loved you she wouldnt like and look at other guys that way. i relaly dont think you'll beable to trust her again like you use to. your whole relationship has no trust in it. maybe right now things are good but thats just for now. who knows if it will happen again. if i were you i would leave her. all i can say is follow your heart.

Answer 7

You need to dump her. Why did you stay with someone who told you that she liked some other guy, or how she thought that 2 other guys were hot. NO! All she is doing is using you hun. She is going to stay with you until she finds someone better than you. Next time she breaks up with you don't beg for her back. When they break up and she asks back out say no. All she is goin to do is hurt you. You don't need someone like that. You need someone you cantrust more than ever. You don't need someone like her that you can't trust. If you love her that much you'd break up with her. Don't stay with her. The more you stay the more you'll get hurt. I'm sorry for all your pain.

Answer 8

Come on open your eyes!!!!! Shes playing you for such a fool. Sounds to me like shes a slut looking for attention wherever she can get it. Begging someone to stay with you is such a turnoff. She knows she has you by the balls because of your actions. If you cant trust someone then you should NOT be in a relationship with that person. Wake up and move on.

Answer 9

Sweety, I don't know what to tell you. You love her, but she hasn't exactly shown herself trustworthy. You don't have any children with her, and based on what it looks like, even if you did, you probably wouldn't be absolutely sure that her child would be yours. People tend to hang with people like them, and to me, based on what you've told us, she seems to be like her homegirls.
I believe that if you left, something/someone better would come your way and you could quite easily get over her. She liked him more cuz he was "hot"? That is soooo shallow to me. Some of the best guys aren't much to look at. It's the pretty boys you gotta watch out for, IME. If you can't get over the feeling that she is unfaithful and have dreams, maybe Someone is trying to tell you something. Maybe you should just count this as a learning experience and move on.
BUT, no body can tell you what to do, and if you feel you should try to work things out with her, then I wish both of you lots of blessings.

Answer 10

If you cant trust her you HAVE to leave her or you will drive yourself crazy and her to hate you !! You cant have love without COMPLETE trust and in spite of what some people say once it is gone you will NEVER get it back no matter how hard you try to fool yourself !! That is just a FACT of life !! Trust me there many other woman out there who deserve your trust and will work VERY hard to keep it !!!

Answer 11

She's a total bi*** ..she's playing you man ...!!!
that kind of girls do never change..she's totally being unfaithful to you ..how could you accept something like that ..she's using you and your love ..go find someone who really loves you and respects you ..instead of this girl who goes after every hot guy who crosses her ..!!!!
You have to break up with her ..and i'm sure you&her will break up sooner or later ..so let the decision be yours ..and don't torture yourself about some ho....
DUMP HER