What do I wear to my brother's wedding if I'm not in the bridal party?

Question

I do not know how formal the wedding is. Their color scheme is silver - does that indicate formality? All I know is it is in the evening in mid-April. Is a cocktail dress sufficient? What length? Can I add character (like a funky scarf or piece of jewelry) to stand out a little bit? I mean, just because I'm not in the bridal party doesn't mean I want to look like every other guest...

Okay, my brother and I aren't close (obviously). So I'm not miffed about the bridal party. Also it's almost a shotgun wedding (four month engagement) so they probably don'ty have much of a bridal party at all. Anyway, whenever I offered to help with the planning my future sister-in-law ignored me, so I'm trying to give her some space/stop asking questions. My mother asked "how formal is the wedding" and my brother's fiance said something like "Well it's a Saturday evening wedding" (as if that would answer all our questions).

Answer 1

excellent question!

yes, a cocktail dress is a great piece for a wedding. there is one main thing you want to avoid in your dress: don't make it look like you're UPSET that you're not in the bridal party!

a short, slinky cocktail dress in loud colors can scream that you're bummed out. seriously!

if you're not in the bridal party, and you're family--then it's your job to SUPPORT the bridal party and bride and groom. you're there to help in all the ways that the bridal party can't help because they're TOO dressed up. so, i suggest a cute cocktail dress (almost knee-length) that complements the bridal party colors. black goes well with silver, and won't be too flashy. in april a softer color would work, too (pale green or purple). have comfortable shoes and a sweater stowed in the car--in the event that you get talked into loading the car with gifts or sprinting to the nearest 7-11 for a coke.

a cute silver purse is probably a must. just be sure to store all the essentials in it--tissue, lipstick, cash, quarters, tampons, safety pins, bobby pins. keep your ears open for any bridesmaids who need your help!

a funky scarf or jewelry paired with a proud smile will make for the perfect sister at the perfect wedding. :) the more supportive you are, the more you will stand out.

congrats!! you sound like a great sister!

Answer 2

You can wear a cocktail dress to an evening wedding unless it's black tie (and you would know by the invitation).

A scarf or interesting jewelry are perfectly acceptable as long as it's not overwhelming. This is a great website that may help.

http://fashion.about.com/cs/tipsadvice/a/weddingguest.htm

Answer 3

First off, unless both your family and that of the bride are quite open-minded, or you're female,scotch the "cocktail dress"! ;)

Seriously though, I would inquire of the wedding planner or some member of the family who is involved in the planning. I expect that they will be in the best place to know what level of formality they have in mind. Anonymous strangers from the Internet really will not be in as good a position to guide you.

Answer 4

Wedding guests are not expected to dress extremely formal if they are not in the wedding party. Sunday clothes are sufficient, but go dressed up a little moreif you'd like.

Answer 5

If they have a color scheme,assume it is your typical formal wedding. Cocktail dress is always appropriate for a wedding reception in the evening.

Answer 6

Of course, you can add spunk to your outfit with the funky scarf and jewelry. I'd suggest wearing a black cocktail dress...it's not silver, which can be construed as trying to compete with the bride with her white or off-white dress. Below knee, maybe a flare-out dress. Good luck!

Answer 7

How about ask what formality it will be.
You could wear a corsage that is the same as the bouquets. I would think you would be included some how but as your brother is man they sometimes forget these things! Just ask him and he will ask his bride to be on how best to include you. certainly your mum will be involved and wearing something special too.

i think a corsage is the way to go. Also you should be sitting up the front of the church too.

Answer 8

I find it odd that you don't have anyone in your family to ask this question...is there something going on between you and your brother?...You've mentioned not being in the bridal party twice...are you a bit miffed you are not in the wedding party?...and as far as wanting to stand out a bit...just keep in mind it is the brides night to stand out...so I wouldn't get too funky.

Just as a perceived...I could read between the lines you had something stuck in your crawl...I feel sorry for her...she isn't even officially in the family yet...and already you are making it difficult for her...maybe not directly to her...but I bet you are verbally dogging her to your mom...etc...I married into a family like that...It was 20 years of hell...until both my husband's parents died (out of respect to them I dealt with my sister in law's abuse)...and now (been 4 years) I don't have to see the rest of them ever....Why don't you reconsider...in spite of your relationship with your brother...why not as a wedding gift....be a Blessing...instead of a curse. Be Blessed.

Answer 9

Ask your brother or future sister-in-law. They should have all the answers to your questions. If you feel uncomfortable asking them for some reason. Then ask other family members not in the wedding party what they plan on wearing.

Answer 10

I would say an evening cocktail dress would totally work....You could even go with an ankel length because it's in the evening and tie in your funky scarf. (silver would be great)